Cardaniel80: (As the men arrive at the garden door with their burden, Pickering seems agitated, hurried, although he is respectful of Lucy's body out of love for Martha.)

Cardaniel80: (They bring her inside, and lay her carefully along a table. Martha has come down in a dressing gown.)

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh, there's my little darling!

Thantasy: [Martha] She has such a lovely smile on her face.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (As soon as they close the door, Pickering exclaims) Higgins! She heard you, for God's sake!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Who? Heard what?

Thantasy: [Martha] <Smoothing out Lucy's hair.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Liza! She heard you talking about the bet!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Nonsense, Pickering, she's out cold.

Thantasy: [Martha] Bet?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Suddenly aware of Martha's presence.) Oh, Lord. Darling, we.... that is....

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] She's unconscious, Colonel. I ought to know.

Thantasy: [Martha] <Curious, what could they be betting on.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Closes his eyes.) Ahhh, my dear.... Liza was the subject of... a little wager....

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Stop worrying, Pickering, she can't have heard anything. Anyway, she was likely to learn the truth eventually.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Higgins, you don't know half of it. She's in love with you, man! How do you think she's going to feel now?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] In love? Nonsense!

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh, men! You mean you couldn't tell that Miss Doolittle had feelings for you?

Thantasy: [Martha] (To Pickering.) What truth is this she was going to learn?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Turns back to Martha.) Well, dearest, you know what it is we generally do here, I believe...?

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes. I have a fair idea.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Feelings? Nonsense, I would have known!

Thantasy: [Martha] <Glares at Higgins.>

Thantasy: [Martha] Go on, Hugh.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Well, Higgins and I... the bet was that we could hire on a woman of my choice, a perfectly normal young girl....

Thantasy: [Martha] Which Miss Doolittle is.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] ... and that in short order she would participate in a client's death... and then orchestrate a demise on her own... and finally choose a method by which her own life would be ended.

Thantasy: [Martha] Hugh!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] And I was right about that... at least the first parts have happened.

Thantasy: [Martha] And THIS is what she overheard?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Yes, now she knows about it, Higgins!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Colonel, she can't possibly know! She... is... unconscious!

Thantasy: [Martha] What makes you think she overheard, Hugh?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Henry, remember that first time.... with her?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Oh, quite well, yes.

Thantasy: [Martha] <Finding this all very interesting.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Did you think she was unconscious then?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Obviously she was!

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] She wasn't!! I overheard her talking to herself about it afterwards!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But.... (Looks uncertain for the first time.)

Thantasy: [Martha] <Raises her eyebrows.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] And that's how I know she's in love with you! She talked about that too!

Thantasy: [Martha] You mean, she pretended to be unconscious and you two....?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Rubs sweat off his forehead.) Well, yes, dear....

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Good God, man, why didn't you tell me?

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, Hugh, why?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Tell you she was in love with you? I just couldn't believe you couldn't see it yourself! I wanted to see how long the blindness persisted!

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, anybody could see that, Professor.

Thantasy: [Martha] Lucy and I both noticed our very first visit.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But... you're saying she's been feigning unconsciousness all these times....?

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, worry about that later!

Thantasy: [Martha] If the poor thing overheard you now, she must be shattered.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Yes, and you just told a woman who is madly in love with you that you've been playing a game with her life!

Thantasy: [Martha] I'm going out to talk to her!

Thantasy: [Martha] <Rushes to the door.>

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Reaches the door first.)

Cardaniel80: (All three run out to the garden.)

Thantasy: [Martha] <Unfamiliar with grounds, especially at night. Lets the men lead the way.>

Thantasy: [Martha] Where did you leave her?

Cardaniel80: (The garden is dim but visible in the moonlight, and the light shining from the open door.)

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Liza? Where are you? Come out, I need to explain something.... (Looks around.) She was here. She was on the ground, near this bench...

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh!

Thantasy: [Martha] Hugh, where was she when you overheard her talking to herself? That might be a special place for her. She may have gone there now.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Excellent thought, dear. Come, this way. (Leading them towards the shore.)

Thantasy: [Martha] Liza! Liza! It's Martha, dear!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Really, Pickering, you could have said something.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] I was going to, this very night! I couldn't let you go blundering around any longer. Liza? Where are you, my dear?

Thantasy: [Martha] Is this the place? Are you sure?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Right here, the place was here. It.... I would say you are right, darling, there was a reason this area is special to her.

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, she doesn't seem to be here now.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Eliza? Come out, now. I owe you an explanation....

Thantasy: [Martha] I don't think she would be of much of a mind to listen. And I doubt that she's anywhere near here.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Higgins, I don't believe she's on the estate anywhere. Martha is right, if she were anywhere it would be here.

Thantasy: [Martha] I'm sure she's taken her broken heart and put as much distance between this place and her as ....wait, what was she wearing?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But.... what in all of Heaven could have prompted her to go? Pickering, if it were you, you'd stay and demand an explanation, wouldn't you? Why can't a woman be more like a man!

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh, Professor!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Really, she wasn't wearing anything! Not something she'd want to go running off in, anyway.

Thantasy: (None of them are aware Liza had a bag with a change of clothing with her.)

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, then she will probably go back to the house to get a few things.

Thantasy: [Martha] Of course, she is a very resourceful girl.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] How was I to know she was in love with me? She never said so!

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh, Professor!

Cardaniel80: (They are all heading back towards the house.)

Thantasy: [Martha] I will agree with you that life would be much more simple if women were more like men. This is a perfect example. "She never said so," indeed!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Well, if I were ever in love with someone, I should think I'd tell them!

Thantasy: [Martha] I will admit that one of the unfairest things that women do is to expect men to know things that they aren't told. How many times have you heard a woman say to a man who is wondering what he's done to upset her...

Thantasy: [Martha] "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you."

Thantasy: [Martha] Which to a man, I'm sure, is a perfectly nonsensical attitude.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But... how DOES one know, then?

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, that's the other side, Professor.

Thantasy: [Martha] The world would also be simpler if men were more like women. Men have to know things rationally, by proofs and evidence.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Well, how the hell else DO you know something?

Thantasy: [Martha] Women rely more on intuition, Professor.

Thantasy: [Martha] It is unfair for women to expect men to trust their intuition, their feelings.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Intuition! There, I'm to be blamed for not having a woman's intuition?

Thantasy: [Martha] But you do, Professor, just as women do have a rational side to their minds.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] By God, Higgins, I would have been able to tell even if I HADN'T overheard her. I believe you were the only one who didn't.

Thantasy: [Martha] Hugh and I hit if off so well because I have been perfectly frank and upfront with him about what I want.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Grinning.) Well, it's also the nature of the things you want which attracts me.

Thantasy: [Martha] Because I've learned through sad experience that it is best not to wait for a man to make the right guess.

Thantasy: [Martha] Lisa expected you to FEEL her love for you.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] And I didn't make the right guess, is that it?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I never claimed to be a mindreader.

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, you poor dear, you aren't to be blamed.

Cardaniel80: (They are back in the house.)

Thantasy: [Martha] You've gotten very far in the world of academics and reasoning. And that's what's brought you such success.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Thank you. I'm not altogether sure I want all that success at this moment.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Eliza, dear? Are you here?

Thantasy: [Martha] Let's check her room.

Thantasy: <They go to her room.>

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Knocks at door.) Eliza? (It is ajar, and swings open.)

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, she doesn't seem to be here. But something seems to be missing.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] She'd gotten so many clothes lately, I can't tell whether any are missing. She's not wandering about naked, is she Pickering?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] I shouldn't think so, but I'm certain she's very distressed.

Thantasy: [Martha] I think I recall a bag setting on the floor by the closet.

Thantasy: [Martha] Could it be that she passed us in the dark?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] A bag? What did it look like?

Thantasy: [Martha] An ordinary traveling bag. Larger than a man's briefcase, but not so large as a suitcase.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Well, it's not here now. She may have brought some clothes along for tonight's... ceremony. Higgins, did she have a bag with her?

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, that would make sense. Did she?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I wouldn't have known, she just appeared out of the bushes. I didn't see her come out.

Thantasy: [Martha] She told me about the entrance she was planning to make.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Gnawing at his finger, an uncharacteristic gesture of uncertainty.)

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Well, she came out wearing a cape, and almost nothing else. I suppose she may have been concerned about possible chills.

Thantasy: [Martha] I don't think a vampire carrying an overnight bag would be quite convincing. She probably put it down out of sight, where she could find it if she wanted to chage clothes. I think she planned to spend the night with you, Professor. Not in your room or hers, but out under the stars.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Spend the night! But.... oh. Ah yes, I suppose she might.

Thantasy: [Martha] She might even have planned to make tonight different for you two.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Yes, it all makes sense now. Where were all the explainers when I needed them?

Thantasy: [Martha] They were inside you all the time! If you only would have paid attention to them.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] I do apologize, Higgins. I see I was wrong, very wrong, not to have said something.

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, Hugh, you should have.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Well, we've got to look for her! I'll call for a cab!

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Higgins, it's 3 am! I don't think you'll find any cabbies out right now.

Thantasy: [Martha] Feel free to do that, but I doubt that you will find her in any event.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] What? Why is that?

Thantasy: [Martha] If she wanted to be found, she would have come back here. I'm sure she knows how to avoid a search party.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Higgins, we can't possibly find her in the dead of night in any case.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But we can't just let her go!

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, dear professor! If you would have won your bet, you would certainly have been letting her go!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] DAMN the bet! I don't care about a bloody bet! I just... well, to tell the truth i just want her here...

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I've grown accustomed to her face!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] She almost makes the day begin!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I've grown accustomed to the... TUNE she whistles, night and noon...

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] her joys... her woes... her highs... her lows, are second nature to me now --

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] like breathing out and breathing in.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I was serenely independent and content before we met!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Surely I could always be that way again! And yet....

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I've grown accustomed to the trace of... something in the air.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Accustomed... to her face.

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, don't worry, Professor. I'm sure she'll be fine, wherever she is. She may even come back.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Look, Higgins, we can't find her tonight... meanwhile, we've got another friend who needs us....

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, we must attend to my little darling.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] We should prepare Lucy for burial. At least that is something we have control over. And when we are done, it will be daylight, and we can look for Liza.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Shoulders slumped.) Yes, I suppose you are right. (Deep sigh.) All right, then. We can take care of Lucy. We owe her that much.

Thantasy: [Martha] If Eliza doesn't come back, don't worry. She's hurt, but she's very strong, like my Lucy. I'm sure she'll be fine.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Eyes closed.) Yes, you must be right. (Quietly, under breath.) Please let her be all right.

Thantasy: [Martha] But do try to remember that most women don't always say things -- they want a man to KNOW things.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Yes, well, I hope I haven't been too late learning that.

Thantasy: [Martha] They want men to be able to read between the lines, see into their hearts. And men can do that. Just as women can be rational.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I want them to wear signs! Give us a little help!

Thantasy: [Martha] Women DO WEAR SIGNS! ALL THE TIME! You just need to learn to read them.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Sighs again.) All right. Please teach me a bit of that, if I'm not too old to learn. And if it's not beside the point. Without Liza around, I won't feel a need for the lessons.

Thantasy: [Martha] It may be good that men and women aren't more alike. We need each other to complete us.

Thantasy: [Martha] I mean, both males and females can find ways to satisfy their lustful appetites with members of their own sex. That, however, does not lead to much of a population increase. So, it may be very nice that we need each other for more than just pleasure.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Nods.) I don't believe I ever thought of it quite that way.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Maybe that's the trouble, Higgins. You've spent so much time trying to decrease the population, I suppose the prospect of increasing it doesn't register on you.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Rueful smile.) Nail on the head, Colonel.

Thantasy: [Martha] Still, I think there is an ideal. The divine androgyne, a popular figure in another branch of Indian culture, Tantra -- capable of manifesting the best of both sexes.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Will it help me understand women?

Thantasy: [Martha] Well, you begin by understanding yourself. That is, the feminine within you. Not an easy thing for a man of intellect to do.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I had thought I could do that, at least. Oh, feminine... in ME?

Thantasy: [Martha] Even the great Dr. Freud, with all of his brilliant insights into the human psyche, confesses that the question that puzzles him the most is: "What do women want?"

Thantasy: [Martha] If he would pay more attention to his young disciple, Mr. Jung, he might find out that he could learn the answer looking within himself.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] It's in there, is it?

Thantasy: [Martha] Oh, yes. It talks to you all the time. You just have to be willing to listen and to believe that you're hearing something.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Shall we go look for Miss Eliza now, or wait until morning?

Thantasy: [Martha] We have all had a long night. I believe Lucy would want us to wait until morning. She'll be just fine here tonight.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But Liza... oh, very well. But we will look for her, of course.

Thantasy: [Martha] Don't worry about Liza, professor. She can take care of herself.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Yes, but she'd be doing it HERE if I hadn't been an idiot.

Thantasy: [Martha] You aren't an idiot....just a man.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Smiles slightly.) Same thing, I suppose, on occasion.

Thantasy: [Martha] On occasion. And the same does go for being a woman, I'll admit.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Well, I'm relieved to know that.

Thantasy: [Martha] Hugh, if you don't mind, I think I'll sit with Lucy for a while. You and I will have many other nights.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Not at all, my darling, I understand perfectly. (To Higgins.) If she wants to come back, she will. I believe she will.

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, professor, don't worry. Get some sleep.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] She's not a lost puppy, you know, Higgins, she's a perfectly intelligent woman. Don't worry.

Thantasy: [Martha] Just remember what you've learned tonight.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I won't soon forget.

Thantasy: [Martha] <Pulls up a chair to sit by Lucy.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Would you like me to stay with you, dear? To sit, only to sit.

Thantasy: [Martha] You'll be most welcome, Hugh, most welcome.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Smiling, pulls up another chair.) Higgins? You really should get some sleep.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Yes, I believe the theory is sound. In practice I won't get much.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Well, give it a try anyway. You may be surprised.

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, try, professor. And if you have any dreams, pay attention to them.