Pickering and Higgins are in the parlour, chatting after lunch. Liza enters, followed by two well-dressed women.

Thantasy: [Liza] Professor Higgins, Colonel Pickering -- Miss Lucy Harker and Miss Martha Hargrove.

Cardaniel80: (Both men stand.)

Thantasy: <Lucy is very pretty, early twenties, small, and her appearance seems contrary to her inner strength and resolve. Dark hair, well-proportioned, but small.>

Thantasy: <Martha is a large, busty, very hardy looking woman in her mid to late thirties. Quite shapely.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Smiles, thinking Watson must in fact know his tastes quite well. He is very taken with Martha immediately.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] Professor Higgins? <She puts out her hand to him.>

Thantasy: [Lucy] <Identifying him at once, because Watson described Pickering so well to Martha.>

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Yes, Miss Harker, I'm very charmed to meet you. (Takes her hand lightly.)

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Steps forward and bows to Lucy.) We have a mutual friend in doctor Watson, Miss Harker.

Thantasy: [Martha] <Also puts out her hand. Eyes Pickering.>

Thantasy: [Martha] Ah, you must be Colonel Pickering.

Thantasy: [Martha] The good doctor said many nice things about both of you gentlemen.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Turns to Martha, using his most charming smile.) Yes, I'm happy to meet you at last, Miss Hargrove.

Thantasy: [Martha] The pleasure is mutual, sir.

Thantasy: [Lucy] As you know, Dr. Watson recommended that I come to see you, Professor.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Perhaps, I don't mean to be a bother, but could we sit?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Indicates the sofa.) Please, do have a seat! (It has been cleaned since Hester sat there.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] Thank you. I am a bit fatigued from our travels.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Did you come straight from London?

Thantasy: [Lucy] <Sits. Sits very straight, very good posture.>

Thantasy: [Lucy] Yes. Um, I don't know how to begin. Dr. Watson was not very specific about why he thought I should come to see you.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Just tell us what brings you here, my dear.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, Dr. Watson knows my mind on a certain subject.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Nods.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] And it is really the only purpose for which he would send me to see someone.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I believe I know the purpose to which you refer.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He told you, then, that I have only a year to live?

Thantasy: [Martha] <Pats Lucy's hand.>

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Yes, he did. While I am not a doctor, I believe he regarded his discussion of your case with me as being in the nature of a consultation.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I want you to understand that I am not in love with the idea of dying, not at all. But I am even less in love with the idea of pain and suffering.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I quite understand.

Thantasy: [Lucy] And I have decided against simply letting nature take its course with me. I want to be in control of the circumstances of my death.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Nature is a grim mistress, but she may be evaded.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Exactly.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I don't want to waste away in pain and agony...

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I have rarely met anyone who would prefer such an end.

Thantasy: [Lucy] and make those who love me <looks at Martha> stand by helplessly and watch.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Looks at Martha sympathetically, knowing that her job may be harder than Lucy's.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] I do have a plan for the method of my exit. But I do require help with it, if I am to do it in the way that I most desire.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] If we can help, we will certainly try.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I have not come to this conclusion lightly. I'm not some bubble-headed little thing going off on a whim.

Thantasy: [Lucy] And this has not been an easy matter. I have had some resistance...

Thantasy: [Lucy] and some support. <Looks at Martha with gratitude.>

Thantasy: [Liza] <Begins to listen intently.>

Thantasy: [Liza] <Lucy's very quiet voice holds the attention.>

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] How many know of your circumstances, other than Martha? And of course, Doctor Watson?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Some friends -- and... <with some disgust> some others.

Thantasy: [Lucy] <Takes a deep breath, looking into the distance.> Shortly after I learned the details of my condition, I sought spiritual advice.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I consulted with the minister of our church, the Reverend Muggeridge.

Cardaniel80: (Pickering and Higgins listen attentively.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] I laid the details of my illness and its almost certain outcome before him. He was very sympathetic, very touched.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He told me that he would do his best to see to it that I was comforted in my suffering.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said that he and the members of the congregation would visit me frequently and help me endure what was to come.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I can see that you would not wish mere comfort.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said my case was tragic, but that he knew I would provide inspiration for others.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Rev. Muggeridge said he knew that at my funeral, there would not be a dry eye as he described how I had met my fate with dignity and courage and faith.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said that he would be able to cite me as an example for many years, in many sermons, as one who had not been defeated by life's adversities.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He also said that, if I chose to donate some of the considerable fortune my parents left me to the church, a memorial would be established in my name to provide Bibles for little black children in Africa...

Thantasy: [Lucy] each book bearing my name and perhaps a brief description of my story.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Shakes his head. Ah, the money.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] I told him that I would be very glad to do something for the little black children and that I hoped he would always say nice things about me, especially at my funeral.

Thantasy: [Lucy] However, I told him, I was considering not enduring the suffering that was ahead of me, but rather ending my life before it became too terrible, and that was why I called to ask for his spiritual advice.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Rev. Muggeridge was shocked, but quickly said that he understood that I was frightened and not thinking clearly.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I can see he would be upset by such a suggestion.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Surely, he said, I knew that suicide is a sin, and one committed at a point where no repentance is likely. He told me that killing myself would be a denial of God's will.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I told him that I wasn't so sure about that.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I said that if I wasn't accepting of my situation, I could, for example, spend every cent that I had on quack doctors -- Dr. Watson warned me about them -- trying to extend my life.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Smiles to himself, knowing how the clergyman must have felt about that.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] The mention of spending all my money did give him pause, but he went on to say that life does impose ordeals and adversities that we are meant to endure as a test of faith.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I told him that I knew of life's adversities, having lost my parents at an early age.

Thantasy: [Lucy] And there seemed to be no shortage of suffering in the world and that perhaps God had given us brains to resolve adversities and avoid suffering rather than simply endure them.

Thantasy: [Lucy] For example, there were adversities aplenty in Africa and that perhaps rather than sending so many Bibles, we ought to send some medicine and better food to the little black children.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Smiles in admiration of such wisdom at a young age.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said that he was sure that I had enough money to do as much of that as I wanted, but the children were heathens and it was more important to save their souls.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I didn't want to debate that, but I thought it would be much easier to save their souls if they didn't die of malaria before they could read their nice new Bibles.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Anyway, the Reverend went on to say that, although life seems to impose impossible burdens, we have only to think of the example of Jesus on the Cross and the agony He endured, to know what is expected of us.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I told him -- and this where he started to get mad -- that I respectfully begged to differ with him on that point.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I said that, if Jesus was God or the Son of God -- and the Reverend didn't like that "if" --

Thantasy: [Lucy] He could have very easily made those nails pop right out, jumped down, and thumbed His nose at the Romans and King Herod...

Thantasy: [Lucy] But instead He chose not to for reasons that probably went far beyond setting an example of how to die a painful death.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Rev. Muggeridge agreed and was going to say more, but I cut him short.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I said that, as I recalled, at one point in His ordeal, Jesus prayed, asking that His Father take this cup from him, asking for release as it were.

Thantasy: [Lucy] And it always seemed to me that, when He said that, He was speaking as a man and letting us know in His loving, sweet way...

Cardaniel80: (Higgins is quite taken with her quiet determination to speak her mind.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] that even though He was choosing to go through what He did, it was okay for us as human beings to seek to avoid suffering and pain whenever we could...

Thantasy: [Lucy] that even He, speaking as a man, would rather not have been where He was, and, all things considered, maybe He would have preferred to be in Delphi, or anyplace else.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, that made the Reverend furious!

Thantasy: [Lucy] He told me that I was a perfect example of why women should NEVER be allowed to interpret Scripture for themselves...

Thantasy: [Lucy] in fact, perhaps they should not even be taught to read!

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said I was living proof that women are the weaker sex, morally and intellectually, as well as physically.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said I was the perfect daughter of Eve, whose womanly concern for the pleasures and pains of the flesh...

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Feels indignation at the man -- a poor representative of his sex, though all too common.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] as opposed to cultivating an obedient spirit, had condemned mankind to its state of sin.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He said that I was evil and wanton and weak and cowardly, and that if I didn't repent of my thoughts, I could very well find myself refused burial in hallowed ground.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He had me almost in tears...

Cardaniel80: (Higgins nods sympathetically.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] and, though he had not changed my mind, he had me about to apologize for having upset him so.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He may have had plenty more to say about how evil I was -- he did seem to enjoy going on about that.

Thantasy: [Lucy] But Martha grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him to his feet, and grabbed the seat of his pants and showed him quickly to the door. And when he was reluctant to leave, she kicked him down the steps -- and told him that if he ever came back, he'd get a lot worse!

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Good Martha!

Thantasy: [Lucy] And that whoever had said that about women being the weaker sex had never seen an Englishwoman rise to the defense of a babe she had cared for almost from birth...

Thantasy: [Lucy] and, as far as me being buried in hallowed ground, the whole earth is holy, whether men like him knew it or not.

Thantasy: [Lucy] And that just because a churchyard lies near where a priest empties his pisspot, that doesn't make it any more holy than anyplace else.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Chokes back laughter.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] Then she came back in and took me in her arms and told me that, whatever I decided to do, it was up to me, and that she would be with me no matter what -- for which I am very grateful. <Pats Martha's hand.>

Thantasy: [Martha] I may have been a bit abrupt with Rev. Muggeridge.

Thantasy: [Martha] But man of the cloth or not, I'll not have anyone terrorizing my beloved babe, or taking advantage of her at this terrible time.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] I believe you treated him quite appropriately -- the self-righteous ass.

Thantasy: [Martha] "Bibles for little black children" -- more likely liquor for his cabinet and beef for his dinner table.

Thantasy: [Martha] And that's why I've come with Lucy today, although now I can tell that she is no danger of being exploited by you, Professor.

Thantasy: [Martha] My own instincts confirm what Dr. Watson said about you: you are honest and caring.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Gives a little seated bow.) Thank you, my dear lady.

Thantasy: [Martha] <Turns to Pickering.> The doctor also had some very nice things to say about you, Colonel Pickering. <Smiles at him.>

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Feels his face growing warm, smiles back.)

Thantasy: [Martha] He called you a "stout fellow, a man of the world" and a "good stick." <Smiles even more.> And paid you other manly compliments.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] I could tell you stories about him... better not, though. (Laughs.)

Thantasy: [Liza] You did right, Miss Martha.

Thantasy: [Martha] Thank you -- Miss Doolittle, isn't it?

Thantasy: [Martha] Dr. Watson mentioned you as well.

Thantasy: [Liza] Very nice man, the doctor. Anyway, I was just thinking some of them preachers just don't know when to quit. Saying things like that to a girl in her situation!

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, perhaps he thought he was doing his job.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Doing it quite badly then, as I see it. I am dashed that the man could have so far forgotten why she had come to him in the first place.

Thantasy: [Martha] Exactly how I felt.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Anyway, I'm not going to bear any hard feelings towards the reverend.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I have my own life to live, and don't have time for resentments.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] As indeed we all do.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Now, I have some very specific ideas about how you might help me.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Tell me your thoughts, if you would.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I don't know if you have read a novel by a Mr. Bram Stoker called DRACULA.

Thantasy: [Liza] Oh yes, very good it is!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Nodding.) Doctor Watson mentioned your affinity for that tale. (Looks at Liza, slightly surprised, but on second thought, not very.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, as I said, I am not in love with death. But death appears to be in love with me.

Thantasy: [Lucy] And if we are to be lovers, I want it to be on my own terms.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Nodding gravely.)

Thantasy: [Lucy] I do find the descriptions of the state of mind of the women in that novel, when they encounter the count, to be, well, rather intense and pleasant.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] You identify with those women, perhaps?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, one of them is named Lucy and another is named Harker. It seems rather natural that I would identify with them.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Smiles.) Which one is you, then?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, apparently I am to be Lucy.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Do you have any details in mind? How would you like us to proceed?

Thantasy: [Lucy] I do fantasize about being taken by a vampire or vampires. And since there probably are no REAL vampires around to do the job...

Thantasy: [Lucy] someone may have to be found to play that role.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I've been given to understand that being drained of blood while in a state of arousal can lead to a very intense experience.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I believe you are correct in that, Miss Harker.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I am hoping that perhaps we could play-act some scene similar to what happens in the novel.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (To Martha.) Do you intend to participate in any way, Miss Hargrove?

Thantasy: [Martha] I will be with Lucy whenever she needs me, but I rather suspect she won't need me for that.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] If you would prefer not to be present during the... event, perhaps I could help you find other means of occupying your time.

Thantasy: [Martha] <Blushes.> My thoughts, exactly, Colonel!

Thantasy: [Martha] We must discuss that possibility.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Smiles, turns to Higgins.) Perhaps my assistance will not be directly required at that time.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Smiles also, getting a feeling for what is going on.) I believe I will be able to spare you, Colonel.

Thantasy: [Lucy] <In reverie, oblivious to the second conversation in progress.> I've always thought it would be most enjoyable to be taken at once by a male and a female vampire.

Thantasy: [Liza] Oh, yes, that could be, er, loverly!

Thantasy: [Lucy] For all the participants, I'm sure.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I take it you are volunteering, Eliza?

Thantasy: [Liza] You know me, sir. I does what I can to help.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (To Lucy.) You'll find Miss Doolittle to be a very helpful and imaginative assistant in this endeavor.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I can tell that she will be.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Now, of course, I would like the, um, event...

Thantasy: [Lucy] to take place after midnight.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Do you mean tonight?

Thantasy: [Lucy] No, no.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I have another plan as well, and that will take some time to arrange. But not much.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Ah, I quite understand. Of course, the timetable is entirely yours to arrange.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I do want to throw a party. I've always liked parties.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Oh... a party?

Thantasy: [Lucy] I have a few friends who are sympathetic and know my circumstances.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I am hoping that we might use your home, Professor, for the party.

Thantasy: [Lucy] It won't be large.

Thantasy: [Lucy] But I do want to have some music.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I must ask, of course, that you are able to assure the discretion of any friends who will participate.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, I plan that my friends and the band would all leave at about midnight.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Do they know what will happen afterwards?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Some may.

Thantasy: [Lucy] One of the musicians will, for sure.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] But you trust them not to interfere?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Yes, they can be trusted. They won't know exactly what is going to happen to me, but they do know that they won't be seeing me again.

Thantasy: [Lucy] They know that I've got a good reason for taking the easy way out.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I look forward to entertaining your friends, who must indeed have your welfare at heart.

Thantasy: [Lucy] My friends will have to travel some distance.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] They are not in London, then?

Thantasy: [Lucy] No, but I will arrange for transportation from town, and I will see to it that each one has got a ticket to ride the train to and from London.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Now, the band that I have in mind is a small group, only about four musicians, actually.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I'm very close to one of them.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He's a former military man, but I doubt that you would know him because he was a non-commissioned officer.

Thantasy: [Lucy] The group has been playing together for nearly two decades.

Thantasy: [Lucy] In fact it may be that it was twenty years ago today Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play.

Thantasy: [Lucy] It was after he'd retired from the military that he brought back together a group that he had organized before joining the service.

Thantasy: [Lucy] He found that playing music was better than sitting around and talking about "How I won the war."

Thantasy: [Lucy] I think you'll find them enjoyable.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Music has the power to cheer up the lonely heart.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Yes, and, well, knowing that what I'm going to do, Sgt. Pepper's lonely, already, I'm afraid. But he understands.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Anyway, I rather imagine that it will take about two weeks to pull this all together. Are you agreeable to that, Professor?

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] I look forward to it. We will try to lift your friend's spirits in regard to your passing. He will be glad to know Lucy is in the sky. With diamonds.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Yes, I'm sure he will.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Well, I feel very refreshed.

Thantasy: [Lucy] I could almost use some spirits.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] We have some wonderful sherry here, if you would like to partake...

Thantasy: [Lucy] Oh, that would be very nice!

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Rounds up five glasses, and pours, handing them out, saving Martha's for last.) Here you are, my dear.

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes, by all means. Thank you, sir.

Thantasy: [Liza] Shall we drink to something?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Yes. I would like to propose a toast. <Raises glass.>

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] (Beams at Lucy.) Certainly, my dear.

Thantasy: [Lucy] To taking control of your own life!

Thantasy: [Liza] Hear, hear!

Thantasy: [Martha] Hear, hear!

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Indeed! You have provided an excellent example to all of us.

Thantasy: <All clink glasses and drink.>

Thantasy: [Martha] <Draws Pickering aside.>

Thantasy: [Martha] Colonel, Dr. Watson tells me that you've spent extensive time in India.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] I have indeed. Among other places.

Thantasy: [Martha] I understand that there are some very interesting attributes to Indian culture.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Oh, yes, fascinating.... I suspect you have a particular one in mind, though.

Thantasy: [Martha] That some arts are practiced there that we are generally unfamiliar with in the west.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Many of them, yes.

Thantasy: [Martha] Have you ever read Sir Richard Burton's translation of a remarkable book, the KAMA SUTRA?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Grins, flushing slightly.) I have an acquaintance with it, yes.

Thantasy: [Martha] I, myself, found it a most engaging volume. Sir Richard had a real gift for tongues.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Ahhhh... tongues, yes.

Thantasy: [Martha] I mean, of course, he spoke over 30 languages, I believe.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Errr, yes, that too.....

Thantasy: [Martha] In any event, perhaps we can discuss that remarkable book at some length.

Thantasy: [Martha] I mean, I do enjoy reading...

Thantasy: [Martha] but I have always found hands-on instruction much more suitable. Don't you agree?

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Whole-heartedly. Many passages of the Kama Sutra inspire experimentation.

Thantasy: [Martha] Yes. I like a practical man. I'm sure we shall get along very, very well.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Perhaps I should show you some things I learned in India. And at the earliest convenience.

Thantasy: [Lucy] <To Liza.> It seems that Martha and the Colonel are getting along very well.

Thantasy: [Liza] Yes, I don't think they will be requiring any encouragement from us.

Cardaniel80: [Higgins] Martha could do much worse than making a friendship with the Colonel. He's a quite admirable man.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Perhaps you could show me around the estate?

Thantasy: [Lucy] Maybe we could find a suitable place for some of the night's activities.

Thantasy: [Liza] Yes, let's three go tour the grounds and leave Martha and the colonel to get better acquainted.

Thantasy: [Lucy] Martha, the professor and Miss Doolittle are going to show me the grounds.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] (Barely notices the others are leaving.)

Thantasy: [Martha] That's all right, dear. I'm sure the Colonel and I will find some way to amuse ourselves.

Cardaniel80: [Pickering] Perhaps I could show you some of the interior of the house while the others are busy with the exterior.

Thantasy: [Martha] What a very splendid idea!

Thantasy: <All exit, a duo and a trio.>