SUNDAY

Amy looked up from her textbook, and put her yellow highlighter down. "Come in."

The door opened, and Wendy poked her head in, biting her lip nervously. "Is Megan here?... Oh, hi." Wendy nodded at Megan, who was sitting up on her bed in the neck trainer, her eyes closed, listening to music on headphones. Megan, probably alerted to the intrusion by air currents from the hallway, opened her eyes. Seeing Wendy, she reached up to push the headphones away from her ears, with a neutral expression.

Wendy stammered, "I - I'm sorry, I'm interrupting, I could come back. It's, I...."

Megan levered herself up with the handholds and unhooked the neck trainer collar. "It's okay, I was about finished. What do you need?"

Wendy came further into the room. She seemed not to know what to do with her hands. "I'm... well, I'm kind of scared. I'm scheduled for my Fifteen on Thursday..."

Amy said softly, "Wendy, everybody's nervous about it. But we've all been practicing a lot. I know you've done more than fifteen minutes in practice, right?"

Wendy sat abruptly on the nearest chair. Amy was surprised to see she was crying.

Wendy tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept seeping out. "I'm doing something wrong. The last few times with Lucy, I've almost fainted after about twelve minutes. I was doing it that long almost a year ago! Lucy's tried to help, but she's not sure what's different." Lucy was Wendy's roommate, each having lost her original roommate last year.

Wendy buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking, and wailed, "Of all times for this to happen!"

The Fifteen. All of the girls started feeling it looming over them in the fast-approaching future towards the end of their second year. Early in the third year, every girl had to demonstrate she could hang, remaining conscious and kicking, for at least fifteen minutes. Under test conditions, she only had one chance.

The Academy believed that any student who, after two years of training, had not reached the point of being able to survive a hanging that long, could not uphold the standards that the Academy demanded for its graduates' final performances. And, just as in that final performance, in the Fifteen test there were no do-overs. Practice sessions didn't count -- the pressure of performing the official Fifteen was thought to simulate the tension of the final performance.

Of course, students failing the Fifteen were given the same honors as any other student dying in a demo or at a party. They would be eaten by their classmates, and their heads would be enshrined in the Hall of Honor. But the specter of sudden failure daunted even the students who had never yet fallen into the Bottom Five, exposing them to the demos and the party hangings.

Amy started to stand to move towards Wendy, but stopped as she saw Megan slide off the bed, pull the hanging platform out and center it under the room's noose. "Okay, let me see what you're doing."

Wendy smiled gratefully at Megan and peeled her clothes off quickly. Megan followed her up onto the platform with a short rope, saying, "No crotch rope, right?"

Wendy shook her head. "I haven't been using that, since I started practicing for the Fifteen."

Megan nodded and began tying her hands. "Did you start having this trouble right when you quit using the crotch rope?"

"Well, I did use it again once yesterday, to see if the change was causing the problem, but I couldn't hang any longer with the crotch rope."

Megan finished adjusting the noose around Wendy's neck. Jumping down from the platform, she let Wendy adjust her breathing for a moment, then pulled the lever.

As Wendy hung by her neck, squirming and writhing, Megan stood watching intently, fingering her chin absently. So concentrated was her focus on Wendy that Amy wondered whether Megan would feel it if Amy slapped her buttock.

Megan suddenly backed off a few feet. Amy was a little surprised -- if Megan had spotted something, Amy would have thought she'd move in closer.

Megan gave a small nod, and pushed the lever to raise the platform. As soon as Wendy had caught her breath, Megan asked, "When did you start doing that little kick?"

Wendy shook her head blankly. "What kick? It's all kicking. Like everybody does."

"Uh-uh. This one's added on. Do you know what I'm talking about?"

Wendy shook her head again, looking lost.

"Okay, get ready. I'm going to hang you again." She gave Wendy a moment, then pulled the lever again.

She moved to stand a little to Wendy's right. Watching Wendy's kicking with the same intensity as before, she suddenly reached down to slap Wendy's ankle lightly, just as Wendy made a kick. A few seconds later Megan did it again, and then a third time shortly after. She pushed the lever then, to raise the platform.

As Wendy stood looking down at her, breathing hard, Megan said, "That kick."

"But it's just another kick."

Megan shook her head. "You fell into a new habit somehow. You can choreograph all you want, but sometimes self-preservation instinct throws in something new, especially if you're tense about something like the Fifteen. You're making a kick at a really bad time. It throws off your balance just when you need the pressure off the right side of your neck so the blood can come up the carotid."

Now Amy understood why Megan had backed off suddenly earlier. She'd wanted a wider field of view so she could keep her eye on Wendy's leg and her head movements at the same time.

Wendy closed her eyes, swaying a bit as if replaying the last hanging in her head. She suddenly gasped. "Oh!! That... yeah! I see what you're saying now!" She shook her head. "I wasn't thinking about it. I've just... well, I started worrying about the Fifteen, and tried to imagine I was doing the Fifteen when I practiced. I started feeling... you know, kind of desperate. I guess it's like you said -- self-preservation."

Megan nodded, and untied Wendy's hands. "It's a pretty stupid instinct sometimes. Does exactly the opposite of what it's trying to do. Look, go back to your room and relax about an hour. Then come back and we'll do a real Fifteen practice."

Wendy pulled off the noose and nodded eagerly. She jumped down from the platform, started to bend to pick up her uniform, and said, "Okay if I just leave it here for now? I'm coming back."

Megan looked at Amy. Amy shrugged and smiled. "Okay with me."

Wendy beamed at Megan. "Thank you! I'll be back in a little bit." She dashed out into the hallway naked, almost dancing.

Amy came up behind Megan and put her arms around her roommate's waist, kissing her neck lightly. "You're almost supernatural sometimes. You know that, right?"

Megan shrugged. "If anything's wrong during a hanging, it just jumps out at me." She turned her head towards the side Amy had kissed -- Amy had backed away during the shrug. "Hey, don't stop doing that."

Amy bent her head, her mouth spread wide this time in an O, covering Megan's neck and licking it lightly, sensing rather than feeling Megan start to shiver. "Mmmm. Never will."

Megan moaned softly, and then said, "I'm sorry, hon, let's wait until after Wendy comes back. I'm still trying to think if there's anything else I can tell her."

Amy gave Megan's shoulder one last kiss and nodded. She grinned. "Waiting can be fun, too. And I've got some reading I can fail to concentrate on."

After finding her footing on the rising platform, Wendy stood, a little shakily, breathing in great heaves. Amy quickly untied her hands and helped her take off the noose, sensing she was about to faint, and said, "Wish you'd given the signal a little sooner. I almost pushed the lever anyway. You were really running out of steam." Amy put an arm around Wendy's waist to help her keep standing upright.

Still breathing hard, Wendy managed to gasp out, "How... how long?"

Megan stood below her, with her stopwatch, and smiled. "Seventeen. How's that?"

Wendy suddenly shook with a burst of energy. She leapt off the platform straight at Megan, and threw her arms around her. "Thank you so much!! I knew I was going longer!" She laughed joyfully. "At the start, I had to keep watching my movements. Every time I started to kick at the wrong time, it was like I could feel you slapping my ankle again, and I'd hold back. After a couple of minutes, it all started feeling more natural. I just needed you to help me get my rhythm back. I knew you could help!!"

Megan seemed a little dumbfounded at the display, and just for an instant glanced at Amy as if for help, then returned the hug. "Well, you had the rhythm in you the whole time. You just had to find it."

Wendy squeezed Megan harder, and giggled. "I'd say thank you again, but there's no way I can say it enough." She finally broke off the hug, and quickly bent to gather her clothes. "I've got to go tell Lucy! She's been worried. And I'm going to practice again tonight." She dashed towards the door, her uniform wadded up in her hands, paused when she got there and gave Megan and Amy a big grin and a fist pump, and turned to pound down the hallway towards her room.

Amy closed the door, and turned back towards Megan. As she opened her mouth to speak, Megan held up one hand and said, "Don't even say it." She smiled, almost as if embarrassed. "Yes, it does feel good."

Amy laughed. She flopped onto the bed on her back. "So why don't we both make ourselves feel even better?"

"Got an idea on that," Megan said, unhooking her bra.

"Thought you might," Amy responded, removing her own.

MONDAY

Amy looked at the clock on her desk. "It's five minutes to. Who's up next?"

Megan, sitting on the bed beside Amy, both using the wall as a backrest as they looked across at the television, leaned forward to read the printed list in her lap. "Paula."

Almost at the moment Megan spoke, Paula appeared on the screen, already naked for her hanging, entering from the front of the demo hall, wringing her hands nervously, trying to smile at Becky, the graduate on duty at the moment. Through the speakers, Amy could hear Becky saying soothingly, "I know you've gone longer than this in practice, Paula. Just pretend it's another practice."

None of the girls could so pretend, of course. This was something very different from practice.

Amy nudged Linda, sitting beside her on the opposite side from Megan, and Linda passed her the bucket of popcorn. Amy held it between herself and Megan, both of them reaching for a handful before passing it to Laney, sitting on the far side of Megan. Sitting on the floor in front of Amy, with Amy's heels propped on her shoulders as a footrest, Jackie shared another popcorn bucket with Erin, using her right hand to dig out a handful while keeping her left hand wrapped companionably around Amy's ankle, while Erin sat with her head on Jackie's other shoulder, pinning Amy's ankle against it.

On the screen, they could see Paula now standing on the platform, facing the camera, her wrists now tied behind her. Her eyes were closed, as she tried with moderate success to keep her breathing even, while Becky adjusted the noose.

No students, other than the one being tested, were allowed in the demo room to watch the Fifteen, but in their rooms they all had a closed circuit signal they could tune to on their televisions. The First Year and Second Year students watched a number of the hangings, as their class schedules allowed them. For Third Year students, there were no classes during the week of the Fifteens, and few of the Third Years missed seeing any of them. All of them felt a duty to their classmates to watch them hang.

Hearing a soft knock at the door, Amy called out, "In." The door opened and Melissa entered, still carrying her textbook and lab notebook.

Melissa craned her neck to see the TV screen from where she was. "I just got out of chem class. Has the eleven o'clock started yet?"

Amy waved her over. "She's not dangling yet. Just getting the noose on."

Linda scooted forward off the bed and stood, beckoning to Melissa. "Sit over here by Amy. I'm going to move over here." Linda stepped across Jackie and Erin and squeezed into the small space at the end of the bed, next to Laney.

Biting her lip, Amy worked hard to keep her face neutral. She wasn't sure Linda understood the mixed feelings Amy had about being close to Melissa, which she had not, as yet, discussed with anyone, not even Linda or Megan. Then again, probably Linda did perceive it, and just thought Amy should work through it. Amy loved being around Melissa and talking with her, but physical proximity brought with it the possibility of intimate contact that made Amy uncomfortable. At least, thought Amy, I know why I'm feeling that way. Maybe that'll help me get past it.

Melissa, for her part, seemed already to have accepted having a Third Year girl as a friend, the feelings of growing closeness mixed with considerable awe, which Amy suspected was partly due to her hanging demonstration the night they had met -- Melissa had not yet seen Megan perform -- and partly due to Amy being probably the only person Melissa would ever meet who had seen her sister's final hanging. There was no evidence that Melissa was unduly conscious of being the only one in the room in a white uniform and heavy, anonymous metal slave collar.

Nor, after that first night, had Melissa had any problem being in the room with Miranda's head. She often gave Miranda a kiss on entering the room. In her hurry to get settled today she'd skipped the ritual.

Amy retrieved the popcorn bucket and offered it to Melissa, saying, "Remember Jana's invited too. Is she coming?" Jana, Melissa's roommate, was a sweet, serious girl who still wore the wide-eyed wonder of being at the Academy on her face for everyone to see.

Melissa shook her head while grabbing a handful of popcorn. "She's got Hanging class starting now. She'll be here at one... Oh!" She pointed at the screen. "It's starting!"

On the screen, the platform was visibly descending. Seconds later, Paula was nooseborne.

Though her legs were kicking automatically, seeking to recover their lost support, Paula appeared more relaxed than she had seconds earlier. That, thought Amy, is probably the way it will be for most of the girls. The worst part of the Fifteen was anticipation. Amy was sure that when her turn came, she would settle into it once she was hanging by the neck.

Some of the girls, to their distress, had to spend much more time in anticipation than others. Six sessions of the Fifteen were scheduled each day, each starting on the hour: nine, ten, and eleven in the morning, and one, two, and three in the afternoon, with an additional session at four on Monday only. With thirty-one girls having survived into the Third Year, it took five days, Monday to Friday, to complete the testing. Paula was no doubt glad that the luck of the draw had given her a Monday test time.

Next to Amy, Melissa leaned forward slightly, fascinated by the kicking girl on the screen. She murmured, almost hypnotized, "She's not doing that kind of stuff you showed me."

Amy answered, "She can. It's not something you'd do for the Fifteen, where the only idea is endurance. All those special moves would use up too much energy. But she's pretty good at it, really. I've worked with her some. Mostly she's worked with Shawna."

Still speaking softly, Melissa said wonderingly, "I guess Miranda had to do this, right? When she came home, she didn't talk very much about details of what she did here."

Amy smiled at the memory. "She told me about it. She said it scared her. It does that to everybody."

Melissa, her eyes still glued to the screen, said, "You're not scared."

Linda leaned forward at the end of the bed and looked towards Melissa. "She is. You'd have to know her better to see it, but she is. Trust me on that."

Amy snorted. "Well, yeah. You can't help it. When you practice, you know that if you start running out of gas, you can end the session. But for the Fifteen, you go into it knowing that you can't end it early. That gets in your head and makes the whole thing bigger, even if you're used to going more than fifteen minutes in practice. And I don't try for fifteen most of the time. When we practice, we're usually trying to work on our moves, and we give the signal when we feel like we've done enough. I've really only gone past fifteen minutes a few times. I know I can do it, but I don't try very often. Practice isn't about that.

"Of course, as I get closer to graduating I'll be going for longer times. Most of us hope our show can last twenty or twenty-five minutes." Amy turned to look at Melissa, and was stunned once again by her resemblance to her sister. "Miranda kicked for thirty-one minutes. Nobody here has heard about a girl going longer than that."

Melissa's gaze at last left the television long enough to look at her sister's head. She bit her lip, and in a tiny voice, said, "I'll try to make her proud of me."

Amy patted Melissa's arm. "She will be. She already is."

Melissa looked at Amy with a grateful smile, then turned back to the tv screen. "Can she tell how long it's been?"

Linda spoke again. "Have you been in the demo room yet?"

"Uh-uh."

"There's a big clock on the back wall. I've noticed Paula looking at it. There's a lot of difference of opinion on whether you should watch it. I tried to ignore it the first few minutes, but for about the last five I couldn't take my eyes off it."

Amy said, "I'm not going to look at it. I feel like I'll be better off just concentrating on my moves and forget it's the Fifteen."

Laney laughed, and reached across Megan to slap Amy's thigh. "Oh, right, hon, you'll forget all about it. I'll bet anything you'll end up staring at that clock."

Amy grinned. "You're on."

Melissa pointed at the screen again. "If she faints after about fourteen minutes, they could still revive her when they let her down. Has she passed or failed, if that happens?"

From in front of the bed, Jackie said, "Uhhh, I don't think you have the complete idea yet, Melissa."

Melissa looked down at Jackie. "What do you mean?"

Jackie pointed. "That's a special platform. See where the lever went after Becky pushed it? Down there by the floor?"

"Oh, I wasn't watching it. Yeah, I see it."

"It's on a timer, and at the end of fifteen minutes it'll spring back up to where Paula can reach it with her feet. She'll have to kick it forward herself, and that brings the platform back up."

Melissa's eyes grew round. "So she..." She gasped. "Ohhhh!" Clearly she had understood suddenly. Becky was not there to rescue Paula after fifteen minutes. Paula would have to do that herself. "But... so how long do they leave her, then? If she's fainted? They've got to take her down before the next session starts, at least."

Amy said, "That's part of why there's an hour between starts. Becky would let her hang there to see if she revives somehow -- a couple of girls in the past have actually done that, within the first minute or so. She'd wait until Paula's heart stops -- she's holding a heart monitor. Then Becky would leave her hanging there and go tell the kitchen staff. They'd be the ones who'd actually take her down, and wheel her to the kitchen to start cooking her. So it all takes awhile when a girl fails."

Melissa worked her mouth as if the words wouldn't come out. Finally she found her voice. "Do... do many girls... fail?" She chewed her lower lip, looking as if she might not want to hear.

Amy turned to the other side. "How many girls last year, Lin?"

Linda said soberly, "We lost two. I've heard the average is three. I know that sounds like a lot, but you know, that means about ninety percent pass."

Amy watched Melissa swallow this information. For the moment, Amy was able to stop seeing Miranda in her -- all of the scared First Year in Melissa was visible. Amy stroked her arm. "Melissa, you've got two years of training ahead of you before you get to this point. You'll know everything we know now, and probably more, and you'll practice so much hanging will seem like the most natural thing in the world. This is something you'll get through. I know it." She was rewarded with a guarded smile from Melissa.

Amy felt Megan, her upper arm pressed against Amy's, suddenly jump slightly and lean forward. Amy spun her head quickly. "What is it, hon?"

Megan said tensely, "She's out of her rhythm."

Everyone in the room grew still, concentrating on the kicking girl on the screen. Amy tried to focus on the girl's movements, but didn't feel sure where to look. She could never spot things quite as quickly as Megan. "Is it bad?"

Megan was silent for a moment, watching intently. "Can't tell yet. Her head roll is uneven. It's like... I think it's the extra adrenaline. Her heart's beating faster than she's used to, and she's trying to accommodate it with her head movements, but she can't quite find it."

Jackie asked quickly, "What does she need to do?"

"She has to quit thinking about it. It's messing her up. That's the hardest thing to do, though. Her body can adjust her movements naturally to the faster heartbeat if she gives it a chance." The girls in the room, other than Melissa, knew theoretically the sort of adjustments Megan was talking about. When a Hanging Girl's heart is going faster, she can change her timing so that the blood comes up the carotid on every third beat, say, instead of every other one. None of the girls, though, had experienced a real runaway adrenaline rush, such as the Fifteen could inspire. "It's an unconscious response. A feedback mechanism that kicks in until everything feels right again. But she's not letting it happen. She's trying to force it -- oh shit!"

All of the girls seemed to gasp out "What?" together.

"Now her kicking is off. Out of synch with her head. She's getting scared. She's got like... fifteen seconds to get it together, or she'll never get caught up... Wait." She leaned farther forward.

Every head was turned to Megan, as she watched the figure on the screen. Megan gave a tiny nod. "That's a little better. She's kicking for more head movement. And the rhythm is back. It's coming together." She watched a little longer, then sat back for the moment. "I think she's okay now. That probably cost her a minute, but if she had enough margin over the fifteen she should make it."

Amy let go of a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Melissa sitting forward, looking at Megan with a puzzled frown. Amy realized Melissa hadn't had the opportunity before to see the level of attunement Megan had to the entire process of hanging. It had to be stunning to her to see the awe in which the other girls held Megan, considering there were two graduates in the room.

There wasn't another word spoken in the room, as every girl focused more fully on the image on the television. At last, just as Amy was about to look away from the screen to her clock, convinced that somehow the time had been carelessly exceeded, the lever arm swung up from the floor. Paula, still kicking weakly at that point, tried to reach out with her foot for the lever, barely touching it on the first try, and unable to give it a firm kick until her third attempt. Amy put her hand to her chest in relief as she saw the platform rising to meet Paula's dangling feet.

Becky had to help Paula remain standing as she loosened the noose, and let her sink down to sit on the platform's surface to rest before untying her hands. Paula, breathing in ragged gasps, had one of the biggest grins Amy had ever seen plastered on her face.

All the girls in the room suddenly spontaneously applauded. Amy thought she could hear the same from other rooms down the hall. Paula, Amy knew, was too far away to hear it, but Amy hoped somehow she could anyway.