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DRAMATIS PERSONAE FOR ACT EIGHT
Setting: Jayne and Rick's dining room.
Thantasy: <Wednesday night, about 8:00.> Thantasy: <Rick, Jayne, and Mavis are seated around the couple's dining room table from which all the expanding leaves have been removed so that everybody can touch everybody else's hand.> Thantasy: <From Jayne's viewpoint, Rich is on her left hand, Mavis on her right.> Cardaniel80: (Some wine in glasses, but they're not doing much with it.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I guess we have everything as well-covered as we can get it. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I think so. We have to be flexible, of course. Thantasy: [Jayne] There are a couple of things that could go wrong.... Thantasy: [Jayne] If we've guessed wrong about the fact that I'm safe from being shut off between 7 and 12, I might be toast. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I feel safe about that, though. If he said you have until midnight, I think he'd wait to see if you showed. Thantasy: [Jayne] If Lon has lied about the way things work, that could throw a monkey wrench into it. Thantasy: [Jayne] But he was so darn proud of himself, when he told me about how he had me so tightly trapped, I think he was being truthful. Cardaniel80: [Rick] True. I have a feeling the truth worked best for what he was trying to do, though. The more you knew, the more helpless you were supposed to feel. Thantasy: [Jayne] And, of course, there's the worst possibility.... Thantasy: [Mavis] You mean...? Cardaniel80: [Rick] He might intend to kill you as soon as you walk in the door. Thantasy: [Jayne] No, I mean if, in some perverse way, he actually likes what we have in store for him. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh... if he WANTS to die that way? "Bring it on, I'm ready." Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes! Thantasy: [Jayne] Then, well, that may be all she wrote for me.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Any idea on that? Thantasy: [Jayne] But at least it will be all she wrote for HIM, too! Thantasy: [Jayne] And I won't be any worse off than I was planning to be when we started this.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Maybe we could find a way to make it unpalatable for him, even then. Something he hadn't considered. Can't think right off, but there may be something. Thantasy: [Jayne] There should be. Thantasy: [Jayne] But you two do know that I really preferred death with the two of you to what he had in mind for me. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes Jayne's hand) I'll do everything I can to save you, but you're right, in a way we can't lose. We were going to lose you.... and now you can go out with people around you who love you. Thantasy: [Jayne] My first thought was to just be with you two at 12 that night. Not tell you what would happen... Thantasy: [Jayne] Maybe leave you a note explaining.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] The bad thing about that way is, we wouldn't have been able to say we love you, one more time. Thantasy: [Jayne] But, I decided, no, you two had a right to know.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Squeezes her hand) I like it much better this way. Thantasy: [Jayne] I couldn't just decide to let myself die without telling you beforehand. Thantasy: [Jayne] But if it does work out that way.... Thantasy: [Jayne] and things often do with.... Thantasy: [Jayne] what's that quote? Thantasy: [Jayne] The best laid plans.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] of mice and men.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Cardaniel80: [Rick] We're smarter than mice, I hope. I guess that's the danger, though, thinking we're so smart. Thantasy: [Jayne] I do want you two to know that this is the way I wanted it..... Thantasy: [Jayne] and I want you to promise me that you will continue to celebrate my life..... Thantasy: [Jayne] with each other or with somebody else. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes Mavis's hand with his other hand.) You'll always be part of us, honey. Always. Thantasy: [Jayne] I don't want you to ever be alone. Thantasy: [Jayne] Neither or you! Thantasy: [Jayne] Promise? <Tears in eyes.> Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, I promise. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I promise. Thantasy: [Jayne] That's what I wanted to hear.... Thantasy: [Jayne] <Squeezes their hands.> Thantasy: [Jayne] I can be very happy with however things go, now. Thantasy: [Jayne] And, at least, I will have a chance to let him know what he nearly did to me, but what I wouldn't let happen to me and to the people I love. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I can't say I'll be happy no matter what -- you know what I want -- but if we lose you, we'll know we fought against it all the way. After he thought there was no way to fight. Thantasy: [Jayne] I just couldn't go on like I was for those first couple of days..... Thantasy: [Jayne] and I couldn't bear the thought of you two watching me become a perpetual victim.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Even if you do have to watch me die, you will be spared that! Cardaniel80: [Rick] You know, he never really knew you. If he did he would have known you were too strong to give in to him. Thantasy: [Jayne] It's not just me that he didn't know. Thantasy: [Jayne] He didn't understand how special the words, "I give myself to you" are to a woman.... Thantasy: [Jayne] and how little anything, no matter how sexy or exciting, can mean to her if those words aren't a part of it. Cardaniel80: [Rick] You're right! He's not even much of a dom, is he? Thantasy: [Jayne] No, I don't know what he is, but he certainly isn't that! Cardaniel80: [Rick] We'll just have to see if he's an asshole to the end. He could just let you die out of spite, even if it means dying himself. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, if that happens...... <smiles> Thantasy: [Jayne] at least I'll be the better looking corpse!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs.> And I hope you two won't let me just lie there unattended! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs.>Wouldn't think of it, dear! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiling) Don't think so, honey. You know us. Thantasy: [Jayne] Be your chance to get your hands on a REAL necrobabe -- none of this electronic bullshit! Cardaniel80: [Rick] It'd be your final triumph -- getting something you always dreamed of. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs> Wait till they hear about it at the Club! Cardaniel80: [Rick] God, what would Sarah think! Thantasy: [Jayne] She would cream a puddle big enough to drown in! Thantasy: [Mavis] And Katie would probably want to lap it up! <Laughs> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Sarah already needs diapers anyway. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, it's nice to be able to have a night with some laughter in it. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, let's just make sure we get the last laugh tomorrow night! Cardaniel80: [Rick] We'll laugh again, even if it all goes wrong. Mavis and I -- we'll remember good times with you, silly times, fun times. Thantasy: [Jayne] I really hope you two do. <Straightens up.> And this night should also include some rest! Cardaniel80: [Rick] It better! We can't afford to handicap ourselves with a sleepless night. Thantasy: [Jayne] I do not want to sleep through my own death tomorrow night! Thantasy: [Mavis] That would be worse than falling asleep at a Hitchcock movie. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Or on Hitchcock's couch. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, except for THE WRONG MAN.... Thantasy: [Jayne] I could have dozed off on that a few times. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I still think that movie needed Jimmy Stewart. Thantasy: [Jayne] Or Cary Grant. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes! Hey, who should we remake it with today, I wonder. Thantasy: [Jayne] Brad Pitt, probably. <Rises.> Well, let's get some of that sleep that we'll be wishing we had so much if we don't get it. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Hugs them both.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Looks at the table.> I think I'll leave the dishes for Friday. Thantasy: [Jayne] Give you something else to remember me for. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hey! You might stick us with them?? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs.> Thantasy: <All head for bedroom, holding hands, Jayne in the middle.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Now we've got to save you. End of Scene i
Setting: Rick and Jayne's garage, Thursday afternoon.
Thantasy: [Jayne] <Enters with lemonade.> How's it going? I brought you something sweet and delicious. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Mmmm, and lemonade too! You think of everything, sweety. (Grins, wipes off sweat.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Have to keep you all fresh and vigorous. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Pretty much done. You can watch the final test -- say, sweetheart, I was thinking something... Thantasy: [Jayne] What? Cardaniel80: [Rick] I know you've hinted, or come right out and said, that you're hoping Mavis and I will be together if... this doesn't work. Not that we have to, but I know you'd like that.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I have had thoughts in that direction... but I don't want to be running your lives from the grave. Thantasy: [Jayne] I do, though, want you two to have each other to turn to. Cardaniel80: [Rick] If you do make it.... want to ask Mavis to move in? We both love her. I know she's really important in your life. Thantasy: [Jayne] I think that would be wonderful! Thantasy: [Jayne] Of course, that would include Edgar, too. Thantasy: [Jayne] Think you could handle that? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grinning) Well, sure, goes without saying. What do we do otherwise, get him an apartment? Thantasy: [Jayne] Two babes and a bird? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Two guys and two ladies. Sounds fair. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yeah, when you put it that way, yes. Cardaniel80: [Rick] As long as he doesn't get jealous, but I think he likes me well enough. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm sure. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay, want to see this thing work? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, let's have the demonstration. Cardaniel80: (A large, heavy axe hovers above a wooden bench, its handle held by a hinge.) Cardaniel80: (The axe is stuck to a flat, humming metal plate, an electromagnet, powered by house current. Rick hands Jayne a small handgrip, attached to the magnet by wires.) Hold this, sweety, Don't let it spring open. Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. Oh, this isn't hard to hold onto at all. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Think you can hold it pretty much indefinitely? Thantasy: [Jayne] I could hold this for hours if I needed to. Thantasy: [Jayne] Especially if I could change hands. Thantasy: [Jayne] Or hand it to one of you two for a while. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay. Now, does it seem like there's any chance it would get caught on something and not spring open if you let go? Thantasy: [Jayne] Shall I try? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Lets up on it a little, it opens just a notch.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Seems okay. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I think we're ready for the real test. You holding it just the way you think you would tonight? Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. <Poses herself.> Give me the word! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay... just let your hand go limp. Now. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Lets go.> Cardaniel80: (A buzzer sounds. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5... the axe suddenly swings downward in a long arc....) Cardaniel80: (It passes about an inch above the bench, and then swings back and forth above the bench like a pendulum.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Marvelous!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grins) Perfect! Thantasy: [Jayne] And that will be the longest five seconds of anybody's life! Cardaniel80: [Rick] About the last five seconds of his life, too, if it comes to that. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Feel it, lift it... it's really heavy. Builds up a pretty good head of steam, falling from that high. Yes! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Studies the mechanism carefully.> That should do the trick! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kisses him> My skilled craftsman! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Kisses back, with feeling) I think we've got this part of the plan covered. Thantasy: [Jayne] Maybe you can write an article for POPULAR MECHANICS! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes, in their mafia section, you think? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, you could write under the name "Rickie, the Hatchet." Cardaniel80: [Rick] "How Youse Can Dispatch Business Enemies." Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm so proud of you! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Studies the device with admiration.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I guess we're all set. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Hugs her tightly) Honey, I can't tell you how proud I am of you, for being... well, just you. So strong, so determined. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Hugs him, strokes him.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Thank you. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, Hatchetman, let's get this packed into the car! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Sips lemonade) Yes! After that let's rest awhile. Maybe meditate, get centered. I want every mental process working tonight. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Thantasy: [Jayne] We all have to be in top form! Thantasy: [Jayne] Even Edgar. Thantasy: [Jayne] He's going to be valuable as atmosphere! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (With the axe hanging down, it fits awkwardly into the back seat.) Kind of hope we don't get stopped. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, we'll just tell them we're on our way to the woodchoppers' ball! Thantasy: [Jayne] Remember that old Woody Herman tune? <Hums a few bars.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'll tell them "I must speak to Batman!!" Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs> Thantasy: [Jayne] You do a marvelous impersonation, dear, but keep your teaching job. End of Scene ii Setting: The street in front of the house of Dr. Lon C. Haney,
Thursday night just before seven o'clock.
Thantasy: <Rick and Jayne pull up in their car. Mavis follows in her car with Edgar.> Thantasy: [Jayne] I think you had better stop here, dear. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Brakes to a sudden stop) Sorry. By the curb here? Thantasy: [Jayne] It's the fourth house down from here. Thantasy: [Jayne] The one with the seven gables. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ah, of course. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, you wait here until, hopefully, Mavis comes to get you or calls you on the cell phone. Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, if things go smoothly, this won't take long. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Good thing I'm not a nail-biter. No way I can be there during the critical first minutes, huh? Thantasy: [Jayne] No, darling. And if you don't hear anything from us in half an hour, DO NOT be a hero! Call the police and get some help! Thantasy: [Jayne] We'll figure out a way to explain all this to them later. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I understand... I can't at least look in a window or something? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kisses him.> No. You keep an eye on Mavis's car. Make sure no one tries to kidnap our atmosphere. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kisses him again and opens car door.> You just hang tight, right here. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay. You get all the hard parts here, but I'll do my job, ma'am. Thantasy: [Jayne] See you in a few minutes, I hope. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Holds thumb up.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Gets out of car, goes and hops in with Mavis.> Thantasy: [Mavis] How's Rick holding up? Thantasy: [Jayne] Nervous as an expectant father. Remind me to stay on the pill until he learns to deal with stress. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Pulls car up in front of Lon's house.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <To Edgar> You stay here and be good, Okay? Thantasy: (Edgar makes a noise that sounds like agreement.) Thantasy: [Mavis] We'll be sending Rick for you in a couple of hours. You be good for him? Okay? Thantasy: (Edgar hesitates, then makes a sound like reluctant agreement.) Thantasy: [Mavis] Okay! Showtime! Thantasy: [Jayne] Showtime! Thantasy: <Both get out of car, walk up to house.> Thantasy: <Jayne lifts large door knocker that bangs thunderously.> Thantasy: [Mavis] Just what we need, sound effects! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Waiting for door to be opened.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Opens door. Standing in a white dress shirt, several top buttons open, dark pants. No shoes.) Hey, it's my dates! How are you ladies? Thantasy: [Jayne] Eager as can be! <Throws herself into his arms, kissing him, spinning him around slightly, while Mavis slaps a magnetic bar over the door latch to keep the door from locking when closed.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Pushing door shut.> Don't forget to save some for me! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Wow! A little more forward than you used to be, but I like the new you! Thantasy: [Jayne] I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to this night! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Also presses herself to him.> How's my new family doctor? Cardaniel80: [Lon] The picture of health! Say, did you check with my receptionist? I told her to make an appointment for you for next week. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes! I'm all signed up! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Great! We'll have some great games once both of you are wired up. Thantasy: [Mavis] Ooooo! Think you can handle two of us? Thantasy: [Jayne] Two little dead girls in bed? Cardaniel80: [Lon] In that condition? Guess I could handle a million. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, let's see how you do with just one for starters! Thantasy: [Jayne] Let's get me all turned off so I can get all turned on! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Grins) All right, no time like the present! (Reaches in pocket) Maybe you better stretch out on the couch. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Rubs herself against him> Sure baby! But come close and kiss me good night as you pull my trigger, okay? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Lays down on the couch> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Moves away slightly> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Ah, you want to go out with a little taste of honey? Sure thing... Thantasy: [Jayne] <Opens arms, waits for him to bend down> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Reaching into purse, unnoticed.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Thinks about asking what Mavis intends to do with herself, but the nearness of Jayne and her availability overwhelms him.) Thantasy: [Mavis] I'll just stand here and watch for now. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Raises her mouth for a kiss.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Kneels beside sofa, and kisses Jayne, fingering the remote control, his finger searching for the familiar Off button.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <As soon as he bends down, she lets sphincter muscles relax releasing gas> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Finger reaches button, presses down.) Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Jerks his head back.) Shit, what.... Thantasy: [Jayne] <The gas does not render him unconscious, but does make him very woozy, very quickly.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Sits on floor, eyes closed, trying not to throw up.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Rushes up, grabs him from behind, puts chloroform cloth over his mouth and nose.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Hey Nnnngggfff!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Holds it in place until he is quite out of it.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Tries to swing his elbows and free himself, but everything gets fuzzy, goes dark...) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Eases him down on the floor.> Nighty, night, doc! Thantasy: [Mavis] Sleep tight. Don't have any nightmares! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Doesn't hear. Last sensation was just pure mental confusion.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Grabs control from his hand, hoping that it works just like Sarah's.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Presses ON> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Blinking eyes> Whew! Thantasy: [Jayne] Is he out? Thantasy: [Mavis] Like a light! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Bends down, raises Lon's left eyelid.> Yup, you got him. Thantasy: [Jayne] Whew! <Waves arms to dispel gas.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Better open the door! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Does so.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Sees light streaming from front door... ) Thantasy: [Jayne] Give me the chloroform in case I need it. Thantasy: [Jayne] You go get Rick! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Starts to move... wait, gotta wait for Mavis.) Thantasy: [Mavis] So far, so good! Thantasy: [Jayne] Following the script beautifully! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Once Mavis leaves> Well, Lon. Ready to party? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Puts fingernail in mouth... if it helps all those people...) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Goes quickly to the car.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Jumps out of driver door) Got him?? Thantasy: [Mavis] He is down and out! It's going smooth as silk! Pull up in front of the house so we don't have to carry things so far! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes, I don't want to carry this thing in front of strangers' houses for various reasons... (Gets back in car, starts it up, drives it forward.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Goes to her own car to check on Edgar. He's fine.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <To Rick as soon as he pulls up behind her car.> We'll leave Edgar out here for a while until we're sure all the gas is dispelled. Birds can be very sensitive to that sort of thing. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Humans too, I take it. It worked, I see. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Helps him unload car.> End of Scene iii
Setting: Lon's livingroom, some time later.
Thantasy: <Rick, Jayne, and Mavis have worked feverishly and the scene is set.> Thantasy: <Lon is unconscious, dressed only in his boxer shorts, and secured to bench Rick has constructed, and the axe is in place ready to drop five seconds after Jayne releases the hand grip.> Thantasy: <When Lon opens his eyes, he will be able, when he looks toward his feet and to his left, the grandfather clock, and in front of it a chair carried in from the head of his dining room table. The chair has a throne-like appearance and has been carefully positioned so that Lon will have a perfect view of Jayne's pussy when she sits in the chair.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Surveys the set-up.> Well, I guess that's about it! Thantasy: [Mavis] Hmmm. These mad doctors look so cute when they're asleep. Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Still out cold.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, all we need now is our atmosphere. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Feel like just chopping him right here and now, but I guess we need to wait. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, darling, go out and fetch Edgar, please. Cardaniel80: [Rick] If he'll come... you told him to expect me? Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes. He should be patiently waiting. Thantasy: [Jayne] Hurry back. You don't want to miss anything! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Don't tell him how important he is here. His head's swelled enough already. Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, here's my car keys. <Hands them to him.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay, back in a sec with our dark friend. Thantasy: (Out in the car, Edgar is thinking he wishes he knew how to call the ASPCA.) Thantasy: (Abandoned in a car! What cruelty to your feathered friend!) Thantasy: (Oh, here comes somebody now.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Reaches in to grab Edgar's cage.) Our girls need us in there, Edgar. Ready? Thantasy: (Help! I'm being bird-napped!) Cardaniel80: [Rick] Calm down, Edgar! It's only me, Rick. Thantasy: (Oh, it's only him!) Thantasy: (Aunt Jane's friend!) Thantasy: (I guess I'm okay.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Puts his finger inside cage near Edgar.) Thantasy: (Oh, I'll kiss him -- pecks finger lightly) Thantasy: (There! Satisfied?) Thantasy: (Are we going bye-bye?) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Wondering whether Edgar would go bash himself against Lon's door if he said "Let's find Aunt Jayne." Decides not to experiment.) Thantasy: (Gently, gently.) Thantasy: (It's hard to stay balanced on this perch when in motion!) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Walking back with Edgar to the house, through front door that opens as he approaches.) Thantasy: (Easy, easy!!!) Thantasy: (Oh, I need a seat belt in here!) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Comes through door) Oh, hey Edgar, I believe I see Aunt Jayne! Thantasy: (Flaps wings to get out.) Thantasy: [Mavis] Open the cage door! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Opens cage.) Thantasy: (Edgar flies to Jayne, lands on her shoulder.) Thantasy: <Jayne kisses Edgar.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay, Edgar. You are a very important part of the atmosphere! Cardaniel80: (Lon moans vaguely.) Thantasy: [Jayne] That man on the bench is very, very bad! Thantasy: [Jayne] I want you to sit right up on top of this clock and stare at him. Okay? Thantasy: [Jayne] Here's a cracker. <Gives it to Edgar.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Wrinkles nose.) Still smells like somebody already died in here, honey. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I do hope the gas is out of here. It's going to be heady enough. Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay, let's get into -- or out of -- costume. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Open door is helping. I guess we better close it soon, though. I think he's starting to come around. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oops! (Jumping up and closing door.) Like about now. Thantasy: <They all strip down, Jayne completely, Mavis to sexy bra and panties.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Picks up handgrip and removes the band that has been holding it together.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sits in chair, handgrip in hand, staring at Lon.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes off shirt, shoes, socks, and sheds pants. Stands in his briefs, a growing hard-on outlined against the fabric.) Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Mumbles) Hey, wha-zis? (Still seems mostly out.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Moves over beside Jayne, one hand on Jayne's shoulder, the other touching Jayne's breast.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Eyes still closed.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Maybe he needs a little help coming too. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, why don't you give him a drink? <Indicates glass of cold water to be poured on Lon's face.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Hey, don' do 'at.... (Shaking head.) Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Eyes still closed.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, he's being a sleepy-head! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Picks up tumbler.) He does look thirsty. Thantasy: [Jayne] Isn't that cute! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Dashes water against Lon's face) Cardaniel80: [Lon] Plplpl Shit! (Shakes water off face) Wha... Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Sees Jayne's face swimming in front of his eyes, above him, bare shouldered) Hey, baby, was it good? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, baby, you were the best I've ever seen you! Thantasy: [Jayne] And you are looking sooo good right now. Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Starts to reach up for her, can't move hands) Wha the fu.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Did you have a nice nappy? Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Shakes head to try to clear vision. Lying on back on a hard bench, dressed in boxers only. Can't move feet.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Reaches out hand to Rick.> We've been waiting for you to wake up so we can start the party! Thantasy: [Jayne] You've already missed about four hours of the fun! <Gestures to the clock, which reads 11:10.> Thantasy: [Jayne] It's already past eleven o'clock! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Tries again to get up. Wrists, ankles held to legs of bench by metal cuffs. He's stretched out, can barely move.) Hey, wha'dju do to me? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, baby, we wanted to get you into the right position! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Looks up) Hey, whatdzat bird doing up there? Thantasy: [Jayne] Didn't want you to get restless and start sleepwalking. Oh, him, that's my little feathered friend Edgar. Isn't he cute? Thantasy: [Jayne] Perched up there just as though he were on a bust of Pallas. Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Finally looks straight above head, sees axe.) SHIT!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, you noticed the party decorations! Thantasy: [Jayne] What do you think? Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Strains to get loose, can't) Don't know what the fuck you're talking about, but let me loose! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, darling, I'm going to set you free from everything! Thantasy: [Jayne] From all the nasty cares of the world! Thantasy: [Jayne] I've planned such a nice, romantic evening for us -- just like Romeo and Juliet! Thantasy: [Jayne] In the last scene, that is! Thantasy: [Jayne] You do know at least THAT movie, don't you? Thantasy: [Jayne] Lovers dying together and all that! Cardaniel80: [Lon] You can't kill me! You'll die too. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, yes, that is the whole point! We get to go together. Thantasy: [Jayne] Isn't that a lovely romantic idea? Cardaniel80: [Lon] You'll die just to kill me? That doesn't make sense. Look, let me go, you can go home, get on with your life... Thantasy: [Jayne] No, no, no, darling. You've already taken my life away from me! Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, you've taken my freedom. Thantasy: [Jayne] What do they say in New Hampshire? "Live Free or Die"? Cardaniel80: [Lon] I... okay, look, you want money? How much? Thantasy: [Jayne] That is awfully sweet of you, but really, why talk of money at a time like this? Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Constantly struggling against the cuffs, trying to pull his hands free. Looks up at axe, shudders.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, I think you should just relax and enjoy this. Thantasy: [Jayne] Just like you wanted me to do. Cardaniel80: [Lon] WHAT DO YOU WANT? Thantasy: [Jayne] Death, my darling! Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean you forced me into having to choose between slavery and death. Thantasy: [Jayne] So, I've chosen death! Thantasy: [Jayne] And I've decided, in the best romantic tradition, to take you with me! Thantasy: [Jayne] Wasn't that thoughtful of me? Cardaniel80: [Lon] No problem, let me go and you can die. Want to? I'll make it as sexy as you want it. Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, Lon, my original plan was to just stay at home with my two lovers tonight.... Thantasy: [Jayne] and have them kill me before you got the chance. And they promised to make it VERY nice! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Look, why don't you ask your friend? She want you to die too? Thantasy: [Jayne] How about it Mavis? Do you approve of my choice? Thantasy: [Mavis] Whatever you want, Jayne, darling. I would rather see you dead than enslaved. Thantasy: [Jayne] See? Mavis agrees. Thantasy: [Jayne] But I thought it would be so selfish to leave you out of it! Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, you worked so hard to get me to this point. Cardaniel80: [Lon] It won't work! You're only trying to scare me! You're no killer. You can't make yourself do it! Cardaniel80: [Lon] You're bluffing me to get me to tell you the code. Won't work. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, dear. I don't have to make myself do anything. Thantasy: [Jayne] See this little hand-grippy thing? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yeah, what about it? Thantasy: [Jayne] As soon as I let go of it, -- or actually five seconds afterward --- Thantasy: [Jayne] that blade will drop and split you wide open. Thantasy: [Jayne] And I won't let go of it until my time runs out and I feel myself dying... Thantasy: [Jayne] and my muscles go slack Cardaniel80: [Lon] That's what I'm telling you, you can't make yourself let go... OH! (Suddenly realizes.) Thantasy: [Jayne] The last thing I see before I die will be the blade fall and kill you! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Oh shit! No, wait, we can work something out! We're all reasonable people... Thantasy: [Jayne] I think this is very reasonable... Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, after all, how long was I going to live anyway? Thantasy: [Jayne] Until the next power outage? Thantasy: [Jayne] Until you got bored with me? Thantasy: [Jayne] Until I missed one of our appointments? Cardaniel80: [Lon] You're going to fucking kill me! I wouldn't have done that to... well, I mean.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Until you misplaced your little box? Thantasy: [Jayne] Until you had a stroke? Thantasy: [Jayne] Until you just plain forgot about me one day? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oops! Darn! Forgot to send Jayne her code! Thantasy: [Jayne] Until I did whatever your previous nurse did? Christine Jenkins? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Look... okay, it's a standoff... we'll all back off and drop our weapons. You get that axe down, get me loose, and I'll tell you the code. Fair enough? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh. Would you? Really? Thantasy: [Jayne] And what would I do with the code? Thantasy: [Jayne] And how would I know it was the right one? Cardaniel80: [Lon] I... look, I'm bargaining for my life here! I've got nothing left to give, you have to trust me! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, gee! Let me think about it. <Lets up on the handgrips a little BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] Ooops! Got to keep my mind on this thing! Thantasy: [Jayne] We almost had a premature consummation! Cardaniel80: [Lon] SHIT!!! WAIT.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Besides, I don't even know where the control box is. Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis, you had it last. Do you remember what you did with it? Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, it's around here someplace. I think I could find it. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, we don't really need it. Thantasy: [Jayne] All we need is that clock. Cardaniel80: [11:30.] Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, Lon, do you want to be a darling and tell us how much time we all have? Cardaniel80: (BONGGG!!!) Thantasy: [Jayne] Or do you want to keep that little secret to yourself? Thantasy: [Jayne] I think it would be fun for us to all share the countdown suspense. Cardaniel80: [Lon] How much time for what? Thantasy: [Jayne] How much time until I die when the code isn't sent? Thantasy: [Jayne] What time does little Jayne get turned off for good? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Okay! Midnight, exactly midnight! Punch in 2538, that's it, that's the code. Punch it in now and let me go! Or wait till midnight and let me go then! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, so many numbers! Thantasy: [Jayne] Was that 2358? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes, 2358! Thantasy: [Mavis] No, I'm sure you said 2538! Isn't that what you heard Rick? Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Under breath, high pitched) Fuucckk! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Damn, wish I could play poker with this guy! Thantasy: [Jayne] See, Lon? You just aren't to be trusted! Thantasy: [Jayne] But anyway, darlings <to Rick and Mavis> do you hear that? We've only got about thirty minutes for you to bring me to the peak of arousal! Thantasy: [Jayne] So that I can die in a wave of orgasm! Thantasy: [Jayne] Do you two think you can handle that? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, I don't know we can trust him on the midnight thing either, but I'm game. Thantasy: [Mavis] I'm game to give it a try. <Fondles Jayne's breast.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Reaches up to kiss Mavis.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <To Rick> Here, darling, you come here, too. Give me some attention! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Walks behind Jayne, puts his arms around her, hands cupping her breasts, kissing her ear.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Oooooooooo!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes!!!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hey, don't peak too soon, babe. Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, this will be such a wonderful way to go! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Pulls underwear down. Hard-on has grown considerably.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, I am already so horny thinking about the end!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I'll die being made love to by my two current lovers! Thantasy: [Jayne] OOOooooooooooo Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Whispering) Who you oooooing at, babe? Thantasy: [Jayne] Both of two, darling! Thantasy: [Jayne] Here -- hold this for me <handing him the control> so that I can touch you both. Thantasy: <There is a slight BUZZZZ as the control is passed to Rick> Cardaniel80: (Rick takes it.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, gee, sorry Lonnie, tricky little bastard. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Reaches over and grabs Rick's cock> Why don't you explain to Lon what that nasty little noise means? Thantasy: [Jayne] My guy is so clever with electronics! HE could have been an electrical engineer! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kisses Mavis on the lips, fondles Rick while Rick explains.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, Lon, that might be the last sound you ever hear! When the grip is released, battery power takes over and holds the axe -- for five seconds. Long five seconds? Short? Maybe you'll tell us later. Cardaniel80: [Lon] Shit, what's holding it up there now? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Electromagnet! Isn't it neat? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Breaks off from kissing Mavis.> Yes, you had better hope that the power doesn't go out! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes, as soon as me or my babe releases the grip, or the magnet loses house current for any reason... well, power from the battery will operate the magnet for five seconds... then SWOOP! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Winces) Oh jeez!... Thantasy: [Jayne] Clever, isn't he? My guy! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Leans over and begins to suck Rick's cock.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Lets her fingers wander down to Jayne's pussy.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] If the power goes out you'll catch it, right? You don't want to kill me. I can still tell you the code. Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, you and your code! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Eyes get big watching the girls.) (To Rick.) You let her do that? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Do what? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Man, your girlfriend's got a girlfriend! That doesn't bother you? Thantasy: [Jayne] It never bothered you, Lon. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Why should it? We're all friends here. (Leans forward and kisses Mavis softly, with feeling.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, my two lovers will be together long after you and I are gone, Lon. Thantasy: [Jayne] And they've promised to see that after I'm shut down, I'm not left, shall we say, lonely? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Doofus, you're going to wake up one day and she'll be gone. They'll both be gone. Run off together in lesbo land. Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon, darling! I won't BE running anyplace! Thantasy: [Jayne] My running days are going to end at midnight. Remember? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hell, they can't run off and get anything they don't already have. Besides, yeah, see, Jayne's gonna be dead. Not that you care, you will be too. Thantasy: [Jayne] And that will be so lovely, Lon! Thantasy: [Jayne] We will be found here together! Cardaniel80: [Lon] No, see, we can trade! Your life for mine! Isn't that fair? Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm guessing that that axe will make a wound in you just about like my incision! About the same length and shape! Only yours will be across your chest and mine divides me right and left. Thantasy: [Jayne] We'll look like a couple of lovers who went to get matching tattoos! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Closes eyes, sucks in stomach) Oh shiiiit (whispered) Thantasy: [Jayne] Of course, yours won't have time to heal, like mine has! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh GOD! That thought makes me horny!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Me, here in the chair, dead! You on the bench, dead!!!! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Wouldn't you rather live than be dead? Think about it. Just choose between life and death. How hard can that be! Let me go and you'll live! Thantasy: [Jayne] Doesn't the thought of being killed by a dead girl excite you????? Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, that has to be the ultimate for a necrophiliac! Thantasy: [Jayne] Killed by a dead girl!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] OOOoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Look, we've got time to think about this. There must be some way I can give you the code and prove it's the right one. Thantasy: [Jayne] Listen, Mavis, Rick, I think I just might peak a little early if we keep this up!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I want to blow at just the right moment!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Kissing neck) Kinda hard to stop, honey. Thantasy: [Jayne] Die coming and watching him die with me! Thantasy: [Jayne] And knowing that you two will keep it up for a nice long time as I get colder and colder. Thantasy: <Grandfather clock chimes the quarter hour at 11:45.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, Lon, can't you see how perfect this is? Thantasy: [Jayne] What a fitting end to our love story? Cardaniel80: [Lon] What about your friends, they'll be part of a murder! Thantasy: [Jayne] No. You're going to be killed by a dead girl! Thantasy: [Jayne] They don't put dead girls in prison. Cardaniel80: [Rick] "Officer! Arrest that corpse!" Thantasy: <Jayne and Mavis laugh at Rick's joke.> Thantasy: [Jayne] And when I'm cut open and they find your little device and figure out how it works.... Thantasy: [Jayne] everybody will understand why I did what I did and why they helped. Thantasy: [Jayne] Ohh, right there, RICK!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes, Lon, thought about that? The evidence you left in her and can't get out? Thantasy: [Jayne] Right there!!!!! Cardaniel80: (Rick touches that spot some more.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Ohhhhh.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Give me back the control. I want to hold it! Thantasy: [Jayne] Ohhhhhh!!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Here you go... whoops! Clumsy me, almost dropped it. Thantasy: <BUZZZZZ> Thantasy: [Jayne] AHHHHHH!!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I did, by the way....ooooooo......really enjoy playing dead the other night, Lon...... Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick screwed the piss out of me!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I came my brains out!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] It is a wonderful, wonderful little device!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yeah, we had a great time that night, Lon, thanks. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To Jayne) If we distract you a bit, you can still hold onto it, right babe? Thantasy: [Jayne] Ohhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I think so!!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I would like to go on living, of course..... Thantasy: [Jayne] but not as a slave!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I couldn't go on like that...... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Nuzzling her throat) 'Nother good spot, babe? Thantasy: [Jayne] AH! YES!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon, I know you don't think of what you tried to do to me as rape...... Cardaniel80: [Lon] Rape? How could it be rape when you're not resisting! Thantasy: [Jayne] But, for all the high tech stuff.... Thantasy: [Jayne] it still comes down to forcing me to have sex under threat of death.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Maybe you can't see that!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] But this wonderful device -- you've used it just like a knife to my throat. Cardaniel80: [Lon] Look, okay, maybe it was going a little far... but I just couldn't let you slip out of my life again! Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, now we'll both slip out of life together. How much time do we have? I don't want to turn my head to see the clock. Thantasy: [Jayne] OOOoooooooooo Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Looking at clock again, for the third time in thirty seconds.) It's eight minutes before midnight.... look... if... Thantasy: [Jayne] ooooooooo Thantasy: [Jayne] yes.....what???? oooooooooooo Mavis!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hey, Mavis, maybe if we both licked her right there... see?... Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes yes yes!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, yeah, oh yeah!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Your "if" Lon, what is your if? Cardaniel80: [Lon] If I tell you the code... how do I know you'll let me go? Cardaniel80: [Lon] I mean, I've got to get something for telling you. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I guess you don't really. Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, sure, I could promise to let you go, but, you're right. Cardaniel80: [Lon] Then why the fuck should I tell you?! Thantasy: [Jayne] You would have to trust me... Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, once I have the code and we know that it works.... Thantasy: [Jayne] then we could let you go!!! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Okay, well, we could work it the other way... you let me go first, and I'll tell you. Thantasy: [Jayne] Ooooo, noooo, nooooo, nooooo. Thantasy: [Jayne] Not going to happen!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] You see, Lon, I really, really am ready to die rather than be your slave..... Cardaniel80: [Lon] Then you better really be ready to die, I guess. If you can't show me what good it'll do me to tell you.... Thantasy: [Jayne] You may or may not believe that I'm excited by the idea.... Thantasy: [Jayne] But, trust me, I am willing to die... Thantasy: [Jayne] Are you ready to join me???? Cardaniel80: [Lon] I... (Looking up at axe) It's different. That thing's really going to hurt! Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, you won't be nearly as pretty a corpse as I am.... Thantasy: [Jayne] And, yes, I will die in ecstasy, whereas you.... Thantasy: [Jayne] will suffer -- what do they say? -- some significant trauma... Thantasy: [Jayne] But, if we were free to walk out of here, with the control box..... Thantasy: [Jayne] and the code...... Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Measuring the axe handle visually, estimating which organs it will rip through.) Thantasy: [Jayne] and my life back in my own hands!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] And me with two wonderful people to love me!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Do you think we really would want a murder charge hanging over our heads? Thantasy: [Jayne] The only way this works, the only way none of us would have to worry about going to jail is if I'm dead. Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, I won't have to worry about anything.... Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Looking at clock again, sweating.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis and Rick may have some explaining to do.... Thantasy: [Jayne] <Feeling stimulation from Rick and Mavis.> Ooooooooooooooooooooo Thantasy: [Jayne] YeeSSSSSSSSSSS Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes! I'll bet they'll still have a murder trial! How about that! You guys want that? Thantasy: [Mavis] No, I don't.... Thantasy: [Mavis] but we aren't killing you... Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, Rick, promise you'll fuck my dead body!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, yes sweety! I'll fill your dead pussy with so much come it'll be spilling out the sides! Thantasy: [Mavis] We would only be failing to prevent you from being killed. Cardaniel80: [Lon] What if a jury doesn't see it that way? Thantasy: [Mavis] When they cut sweet little Jaynie open right here......<traces the scar with her finger>... Thantasy: [Mavis] they'll see that our whole story makes perfect sense..... Cardaniel80: (Five minutes till midnight) Thantasy: [Mavis] And think of the talk shows we'll get to be on!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] God! Springer will go ape shit over this story!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] And the movie rights!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Take me on the shows with you! Alive! The audience will hiss me, you'll like that. Thantasy: [Mavis] We'll have your picture to show them. They can hiss that..... Cardaniel80: (Rick lays down in front of Jayne and starts licking her pussy.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Can anyone see the time? I would guess there's about four minutes left! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Looks at the clock briefly.> Right you are. Thantasy: [Jayne] Pity you can't reach yourself to jack off, Lon. Thantasy: [Jayne] Do either of you want to help him out with that? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Kinda got a lot on my mind right now.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Not me. I'm happy right here. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ack! Not me! Thantasy: [Mavis] Rick wouldn't even go for my darling pal Irving! Thantasy: [Mavis] And he's prettier than most girls!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Now, he was cute. Thantasy: [Jayne] OOOOOOOOOOOOOO Thantasy: [Jayne] Getting close!!!!! So close!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] AHHHHHHHHHHHHH Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, yes. Oh, yes!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] AHHHHHHHH Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Pushing tongue deep into her, tasting her juices.) Thantasy: [Jayne] EAT ME!!!!! EAT ME!!!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] UMMMMMMMMM....... Thantasy: [Jayne] AH AH AH AH AH AH AH Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, God, I hope midnight comes fast!!!!! Cardaniel80: (Mechanism in clock makes ratcheting sound, preparing to strike.) Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm ready!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] So ready!!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Okay, 165438! Hurry! Thantasy: (Edgar flutters a little, but stays in place, good bird that he is.) Thantasy: [Jayne] What was that? Thantasy: [Jayne] Did he say a number? Cardaniel80: [Lon] 165438! See, I said it twice the same! Thantasy: [Mavis] Emmm. I think so. Thantasy: [Mavis] Shall I get the control? Thantasy: [Jayne] If you want to. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks up at Jayne with concern, bites lip, then resumes licking.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Gets up, with some reluctance.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Hurry! Go! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Goes and gets the control box.> Thantasy: [Mavis] Here it is. Cardaniel80: [Lon] Okay, punch the number, get me out of here! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, put it down -- feel my tits some more!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm sure we have some more time.... Cardaniel80: [Lon] (High pitched) No! Come on, do it now! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sensing that Lon is not quite sincere yet.> Thantasy: [Jayne] OOoooooooooooooooooo Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes... Rick!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <The clock begins to strike> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Holding her hips with his hands, his face pressed against her pussy.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Oooooooooo Thantasy: <The clock strikes ONE> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks up.) Suck on her breast, Mavis. Thantasy: (Edgar stirs, but does not move!) Thantasy: <TWO> Thantasy: [Jayne] OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Thantasy: <THREE> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Shit, no, punch in the code, okay? Do it now! Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, Jayne, Jayne!!!!! Thantasy: <FOUR> Thantasy: [Jayne] I suppose we could think about typing the code in.... Thantasy: <FIVE> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes! Thantasy: [Jayne] But, what the hell! This feels too good to stop!!!!!! Thantasy: <SIX> Cardaniel80: [Lon] God!! Thantasy: <SEVEN> Cardaniel80: [Lon] 165438, okay? That's it! Thantasy: <EIGHT> Thantasy: (Edgar really getting irritated with the clock) Thantasy: <NINE> Thantasy: [Jayne] Emmm, what should she do? Hit the # key first? Thantasy: <TEN> Cardaniel80: [Lon] No, just punch it in and get me out of here, now! Thantasy: [Jayne] Got the number, Mavis? Cardaniel80: [Lon] 165438! Thantasy: <ELEVEN> Thantasy: [Jayne] Maybe you should punch it in..... Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes! Thantasy: <TWELVE!!!!!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] Hey, that was twelve, wasn't it? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes, yes, go, go! Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, darn! We missed it. Thantasy: [Jayne] Nothing happened. Thantasy: [Jayne] He must be lying about the time! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oooooooooooooooo Thantasy: [Jayne] Keep on doing what you're doing! Cardaniel80: [Lon] No, no, punch it in now! Would I be this scared if the time wasn't close? Thantasy: [Jayne] He'll tell us when it's really time! Thantasy: [Jayne] How close is it? OOOoooooooooooo Really? Thantasy: [Jayne] OOOOoooooooooooo! Cardaniel80: [Lon] Now! I'm not going to yell any louder, so believe me, okay? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, I wish this could go on forever!!!!! Thantasy: (Edgar begins to stir, sensing real fear in Lon.) Cardaniel80: [Lon] Okay, it's star - 165438 - star! Press CLEAR, then STAR 1 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 8 - STAR! It'll say 'confirmed'! It's at 12:05, the time runs out at 12:05! Really! Thantasy: (Edgar flaps his wings. He knows that danger is imminent, really!) Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis, look up, see what time it says. Thantasy: [Mavis] About two minutes after. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, why don't you start punching numbers? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes! Thantasy: (Edgar can hardly contain himself.) Thantasy: [Mavis] Okay... Clear. Thantasy: [Mavis] Star. Thantasy: [Mavis] One. Thantasy: [Mavis] Six. Thantasy: [Mavis] Five. Thantasy: [Mavis] Four. Thantasy: [Mavis] What was the rest of it? Thantasy: [Mavis] My short term memory tends to go out in a state of high arousal. Cardaniel80: [Lon] Three eight! Then star! Go! Thantasy: [Mavis] Three... Thantasy: [Jayne] WAIT!!!!! STOP!!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] DON'T PUNCH THE LAST NUMBER MAVIS!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Lon] No!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Looks at her.> Okay.... are you sure? Thantasy: <ONE MINUTE TO GO> Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, Mavis.... Thantasy: [Jayne] It really is better this way..... Thantasy: [Jayne] I could have died from my condition... Thantasy: [Jayne] A few years ago I would have died.... Thantasy: [Jayne] It is better that I put an end to this evil.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Save other women from this... Thantasy: [Jayne] It is better..... Cardaniel80: [Lon] It's for real, it's too late to fool you, it's too late! Now! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Looks at Rick.) Come on, man, your girlfriend is going to die, don't let her do this! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Starts peeing in shorts.) Thantasy: <Mavis sees Rick is nervous, about to jump her and take the control box from her.> Thantasy: (Edgar takes flight, circles the room cawing madly!) Cardaniel80: [Lon] Oh shit oh shit oh shit! Do it, do it! Cardaniel80: (Rick jumps up to tear the control out of Mavis's hands.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Mavis rolls over on her stomach, the box clutched under her!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Looks at Lon.> Thantasy: [Jayne] We belong dead! Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Croaks) No, please! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Suddenly, her eyes go fixed, glassy!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Her muscles slacken, her breath stops.> Cardaniel80: [Lon] Punch it, punch it! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Her eyes are fixed on Lon.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <The muscles in her hand go loose.> Thantasy: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... Cardaniel80: [Lon] Please, please... (Looking up.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Mavis looks up, sees Jayne's glassy stare.> Thantasy: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... Thantasy: <THE BLADE DROPS!!!!!!!> Cardaniel80: (Rick is frozen, watching Jayne.) Thantasy: <And stops...> Cardaniel80: [Lon] NO!! Thantasy: <within an inch of Lon's chest!> Cardaniel80: (Lon empties the rest of his bladder.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Snaps back to life!> Thantasy: [Jayne] Gotcha!!!!!! Cardaniel80: (Lon has fainted.) Thantasy: [Mavis] P U! Thantasy: [Mavis] That smells terrible!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughing almost hysterically!> Thantasy: [Jayne] Did you see the expression on his face????? Cardaniel80: [Rick] What's the one on mine? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sees the puzzled, frightened look on Rick's face.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Stands, grabs Rick, hugs him!!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, honey, don't worry! Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm not dying! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Are you alive, or is this sort of a death spasm here? Thantasy: [Jayne] Go ahead and punch the last number in, Mavis. Thantasy: [Mavis] Sure. Eight. Star. Cardaniel80: (Box beeps, display says "Confirmed.") Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, <Smiling and stroking Rick.> We'll just have to wait a half hour and make sure that really works! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Seeing that he's still puzzled.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] A half hour? What.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis told me how when you wanted to get in to see me at the hospital before Lon said it was okay.... Thantasy: [Jayne] she set her watch ahead an hour. Thantasy: [Jayne] So the nurse would think she was on Eastern time and had made an honest mistake. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks at grandfather clock.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, when Mavis went out to get you, I set the clock ahead 30 minutes! Thantasy: [Jayne] You were so busy setting up the apparatus, that you didn't notice. Thantasy: [Jayne] When you were finally done, you were surprised it had taken so long! Thantasy: (Edgar, calm now, lands on Lon's chest.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Then, when you went out to bring Edgar in, Mavis and I put little hooks in the handle of the axe and the beam holding the axe, and we put a piece of high-test fishing line between them to stop the axe from falling all the way. Thantasy: [Mavis] We only had time to test it once. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, I'm sorry we couldn't let you in our plan to really scare Lon to make sure he was being truthful, but we wanted your fear of losing me to be genuine. Thantasy: [Jayne] I knew you wouldn't let us down. I knew the way you would react when you thought I was going to die would convince Lon that this was real. Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Starts to stir.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, God honey! (Puts his arms around Jayne and holds her tight, very tight.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Seeing that Lon is waking up, asks very sweetly> Edgar, when do you think we should let Lon up? Thantasy: [Edgar] NEVERMORE! Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, that might be a little harsh! Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon, what happened to Christine Jenkins? Cardaniel80: [Lon] She's... in a room... upstairs... (Lips seem frozen.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Alive? Cardaniel80: [Lon] Yes. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, once she tells her story and I tell mine, when do you think Lon will get out of prison? Thantasy: [Edgar] NEVERMORE! Cardaniel80: [Rick] You got it, Edgar. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, maybe he can do better than that with good behavior. Thantasy: [Jayne] But when do you think he'll be able to practice medicine again? Thantasy: [Edgar] NEVERMORE!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] That's probably about right! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Reaches out from firm grip on Jayne to take Mavis's hand.) Smart bird you got there. Thantasy: [Jayne] And considering his experience tonight.... Thantasy: [Jayne] when do you think Lon will get a hard-on again???? Thantasy: [Edgar] NEVERMORENEVERMORENEVERMORE Thantasy: <GENERAL LAUGHTER> Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Closes eyes. Tears flowing down.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, let's go see if we can find that poor Jenkins girl! Thantasy: [Mavis] I think I might be able to find the room.... Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Whiningly) Hey! Let me go? Thantasy: [Mavis] I had a very, very bad dream that I forgot to tell you about..... Thantasy: [Mavis] Rick and I were wandering around an old house.......... Thantasy: <All exit> Cardaniel80: (Except Lon and Edgar.) Thantasy: [Edgar] NEVERMORENEVERMORENEVERMORE Cardaniel80: [Lon] (Eyes closed) Shut... up! End of Scene iv Setting: The hallway of the second floor of Lon's home.
There are four doors on each side.
Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, we might as well start with this one. <Opens first door on right.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Exercise room. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yeah. Like he needs it! Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay, try this one. <First door on left.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Opens door.) Ooh, the mahstah bedroom. Looks nice. Needs a woman's touch. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, rather stark. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Second door on left.> Bath room. Very functional. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Second door on right.> Guest room. Do you suppose we should be looking in all the closets? Thantasy: [Mavis] We can go back and check them later if we need to. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Let's see, now where? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, next door. <Opens third door on the right.> Oh, this looks like his little mad scientist's laboratory. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Maybe he's creating Frankenstein for the Bride. Thantasy: [Jayne] No doubt. Thantasy: [Mavis] I've got a feeling this is the door. <Indicates third door on the left.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. <Opens door.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Dark, somewhat poopy smell.) Oh jeez, this is it. Where's a light switch? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Flips switch.> OH GOOD GOD! Thantasy: [Mavis] OH! <Turns away at first sight.> Thantasy: <A naked young woman lies motionless on the floor, her eyes blinking but vacant. There is collar about her neck and she is tethered with a chain to a bolt in the floor. The chain is too short to permit her to stand. Near her, there is a litter box that badly needs cleaning. Blood on the floor indicates that she has been through at least one menstrual cycle without benefit of tampons.> Thantasy: <The room is sparely furnished with a bed, dresser, chairs, a small tv (turned off), and a chest. However, the only objects within her reach are the litter box and a plastic water bottle, nearly empty.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Jesus! Honey, see if you can do anything for her. Mavis, you see a control box? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, get a blanket off that bed so we can cover her first. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Snatches off the bedspread and a blanket.) We need to get her switched back on, fast. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, don't panic. Thantasy: [Jayne] She can probably hear us. Cardaniel80: [Rick] You think... yeah, you know what it's like, don't you? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kneels down beside the girl, strokes her cheek.> Don't worry dear. Everything will be fine. Thantasy: [Jayne] All we have to do is find your control box, get you switched on and get you out of here. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks on other side of bed) Bingo! (Has controller.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon isn't going to hurt you any more. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey, is it safe to turn her on right now? Need to prepare her or anything? Thantasy: [Jayne] Christine, darling, we've found your box and we're going to turn you back on. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Oh my God, who are these people?) Thantasy: [Jayne] Don't worry. We're your friends. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (How did they get in here? Where's Lon?) Thantasy: [Jayne] We're going to get you out of here. Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, just relax. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Please!! Oh, don't be a dream, please!!) Thantasy: [Jayne] I won't hurt you. Nobody here will hurt you. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, give Mavis the box. She's seen how it works. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Here. (Hands it over like it's hot.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Takes the box from Rick> Okay. Ready? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Please, is this real?) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Strokes her hair and cheek a few more times. Checks her pulse. It's racing.> Don't worry, Christine. Yes, Mavis, switch her on. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Careful to punch the right key.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Prepared for Christine to react a bit wildly. Holding her wrists.> Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Feels shock ripple through body) Agg... Aye.... (Gasping for breath.) Thantasy: [Jayne] That's right! Breathe deeply. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Sits up suddenly and tears her wrists free, throwing her arms around Jayne, squeezing her tight.) Tell me you're real, tell me you're really here! Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. We're real. Thantasy: [Jayne] This isn't a dream. Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon is downstairs, in no condition to hurt you. Cardaniel80: [Christine] How did you get in here?? How did you know I was here?? Thantasy: [Jayne] We persuaded Lon to tell us where you were. Thantasy: [Jayne] He invited me over for a date. It didn't go as he planned. Cardaniel80: [Christine] How??? Oh God, I just couldn't imagine how I could ever get out! There was no way, no way.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I felt the same way about where Lon had me. But I found a way out. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Looking at Jayne's face.) I... I know you!! You're... that girl.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. You've seen me before... on the operating table. Cardaniel80: [Christine] He... operated on you! He put the.. thing in you! Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. He did. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Yes, I remember you!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Stroking her> How do you feel? Cardaniel80: [Christine] He... it wasn't right. You didn't even know... it wasn't supposed to be that way. I saw your chart.... you were just there for your heart! Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Lon did not give me a choice. Thantasy: [Jayne] Would you like a drink of water? Cardaniel80: [Christine] Oh please! Water, yes, if you could get me some water... Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, would you please go see if you can get her a glass of water? Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'll get it. (Goes to master bedroom to see if there's a cup.) Thantasy: [Jayne] And bring some towels if you can find them. A couple of them wet. Thantasy: [Jayne] Do you want to sit up? I'll help you. Cardaniel80: [Christine] He... I worried about it... for weeks! It wasn't right. It was just supposed to be for fun. For fantasy. Girls who wanted it. Thantasy: [Jayne] Christine, how did you get here? Do you remember? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Returns) Found a bunch of paper cups in there. Here. (Hands Jayne a full paper cup of water.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Holds it to Christine's mouth.> Here. Don't take too much at once. Cardaniel80: [Christine] I called him at home, and told him we needed to talk.... (sips lightly, then gulps and coughs.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Easy, easy. Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis, go get her a couple of pillows. Thantasy: [Mavis] Sure. <Brings pillows from the bed.> Cardaniel80: [Christine] He told me I could come over here. I.... told him... it wasn't right! He shouldn't have done that to you! Thantasy: [Jayne] No, he shouldn't have. But we've spoiled his plan. Cardaniel80: [Christine] I told him I had to tell... the hospital.... he couldn't operate on somebody without their permission.... it wasn't right, it wasn't.... (Sips from glass again.) Thantasy: [Jayne] He doesn't have control over me like he wanted and he doesn't have control over you. Thantasy: [Jayne] Christine, if you want to lie down again, I can put these pillows under your head. Cardaniel80: [Christine] He just ... laughed... and then he turned me off! And he put me here. He took all my clothes... oh, if I could just lay on the pillows... it's so long since I had pillows! Thantasy: [Jayne] Sure, just rise up a bit while I put them under you. There. Thantasy: [Jayne] So, you've been here ever since? Cardaniel80: [Christine] He left me turned off all night! And the next day... he set up the room like this. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Looks around the room.> Well, he isn't much of a host. Cardaniel80: [Christine] There was just no way to get out! He let me eat, and drink, and.... (looks at litter box.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Do you need to go to the bathroom now? Rick can leave if you do. Cardaniel80: [Christine] And whenever he had to get anywhere near me, he turned me off first. I could never touch him! Cardaniel80: [Christine] And about every other day... he'd turn me off... and unlock the chain... and carry me to the bed over there... and.... and.... Thantasy: [Jayne] There, there. <Holds her.> We can imagine what he did. You don't have to tell us. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, why don't you go see if you can find something to get this chain off of her? Unless....Christine, do you know where the key is to that padlock? Cardaniel80: [Christine] I... I think it's over by the bed.... that little stand on the other side? Can you look over there? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looking on the stand. There is a little drawer in its front side.) Hey! Looks good! (Turns and displays a key.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Bring it here, honey, and see if it works. Thantasy: [Jayne] Dr. Haney is a very bad man and you were very brave to come and tell him off like you did. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Hands key to Jayne. Doubts that Christine wants any sort of close interaction with a man right now.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Here. Let me try to get this off. THERE! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Removes padlock, opens collar.> Thantasy: [Jayne] You're free, Christine. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Closes eyes) Oh my God, is this really for real? You won't disappear? Thantasy: [Jayne] No. Here. Touch me. Thantasy: [Jayne] See, I'm real. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Puts arms around Jayne, rubs her everywhere, feeling every part, and holding her tight.) Thantasy: [Jayne] And this is my friend Mavis. You haven't met her, but she's real too. Come here, Mavis. Let her touch you, too. Cardaniel80: [Christine] H-hi, Mavis. (Tries weakly to smile.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Kneels down where Christine can reach her.> Hi, Christine. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Oh, I didn't say thank you! I can't, there's no way I could say it enough, ever! Thantasy: [Jayne] And this is my boyfriend Rick. When he first heard what Dr. Haney had done, he wanted to beat him up with a baseball bat. Thantasy: [Jayne] Come here, Rick. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick won't hurt you. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Smiles weakly again) Thank you, Rick. C-could you do it now, maybe? Thantasy: [Jayne] I was just thinking that myself, but we've already given Dr. Haney a pretty rough time. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Oh, good! I... maybe I could go to the bathroom, now? It's been so long since I... used a real toilet. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Can you stand up? We could carry you if you want. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, would you go to Lon's room and find her a bathrobe or a long tee shirt or something? Cardaniel80: [Christine] I... let me try, okay? (Strains against Jayne) Feeling a little dizzy. Getting better, though. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Sure. (Goes out) Thantasy: [Jayne] Take your time, Christine. Cardaniel80: [Christine] I think if I leaned on you I could make it. Thantasy: [Jayne] Sure. Come on. Mavis, get on the other side. Put your hand under her arm. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Does so.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Returns with an expensive-looking leather overcoat.) This okay? There's a bathrobe too, but I figured why not go for the best? Thantasy: [Jayne] Which do you want, Christine? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Smiling, a little more naturally, gradually) I think the bathrobe will feel nicer, for now. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay, back in a sec. We can save this for later. (Leaves.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Okay. Are you ready to stand now? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Nods.) Just stand there, I think I can get up. Thantasy: [Jayne] Don't be so eager to show off. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Pulls herself up, using Jayne as support.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh! You did pretty good at that. Cardaniel80: (Rick returns with a bathrobe.) Cardaniel80: [Christine] I just... well, I've been helpless a long time, I wanted to do something on my own. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sees that Rick has turned around so she and Mavis can help Christine into the robe.> Here, let's get you dressed. Cardaniel80: [Christine] I tried to exercise a little... I couldn't stand up, with the chain, but I'd do stretching and isometrics. Thantasy: [Jayne] Very creative! You showed him! Here, Mavis. Hold the robe for her. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Steadies Christine while she gets her arms into the sleeves.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. Fits as good as a hospital gown at least. Thantasy: [Jayne] Are you ready to go to the bathroom? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Puts arms in robe) The worst part was at night.... he'd turn the light off... and there was nothing to hear... and I'd just curl up on the floor. There was that bed, but I couldn't possibly reach it. He loved doing that, putting things out of my reach. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, right now he's finding out what you felt like. Thantasy: [Jayne] He can't even scratch his nose. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Hugs Jayne.) Thank you so much! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Hugs her back.> Cardaniel80: [Christine] I've.. I know where the bathroom is. He'd take me there and give me a bath every couple of days... turned off, of course. He'd play with me in the tub... a couple of times he made like he was going to drown me. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Shudders. As if he didn't already have her scared shitless!> Well, nobody is going to do that anymore. Thantasy: [Jayne] We'll walk with you to the bathroom, if you don't mind. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Will... you come in with me? I mean, you don't have to watch... Thantasy: [Jayne] Sure. I'll even watch if you want me to. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Smiling) Well, that's okay, really. I just... don't want to be alone yet. Thantasy: [Jayne] Maybe you have a different way of doing it. <Laughs.> I might learn something. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Smiling again) I guess we all have the same holes, don't we? Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on. Let's go potty. Do you want Mavis to come, too? Cardaniel80: [Christine] I... no, just you, okay? It's not something I want a big crowd for, but just... somebody. Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. Let's go. You show me where the bathroom is. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Okay, it's out this way. (Holding Jayne's hand, walking unsteadily. Partway there she decides to lean on Jayne.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Turns to Rick after Jayne and Christine leave.> What a fucking asshole!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, we knew that, but this goes beyond... it's hard to imagine. Thantasy: [Mavis] I almost wish we would have dropped that blade on him for real! Thantasy: [Mavis] I could go down there an scratch his eyes out right now! Cardaniel80: [Rick] I know, but he could suffer a lot longer in prison. Thantasy: [Mavis] True. Thantasy: [Mavis] We are going to make this sonofabitch pay for what he's done to that girl and what he tried to do to Jayne! Cardaniel80: [Rick] No shit! We need to make sure this hurts him REALLY bad... in ways he just hates. Thantasy: [Mavis] I hope the hardened killers find him really cute and attractive. Thantasy: [Mavis] Maybe one of them will make him HIS playtoy! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grinning) Oh, I'm sure they'll be fighting over him soon. Thantasy: [Mavis] And more than that, he owes those two women something. Victim's compensation up the ying-yang! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Frowning) Yeah, I wonder how that'll work? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Meanwhile, Jayne and Christine arrive at the bathroom.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Is this it, Christine? Cardaniel80: [Christine] Yes, in here. (Takes off robe again, puts it on hook.) I guess I don't need to be modest, you've seen all of me anyway. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, you've seen me too. <Still naked from the floor show for Lon.> Cardaniel80: [Christine] Oh! Jayne, while I'm pottying, could you run some water into the tub? I want to wash myself. Cardaniel80: [Christine] I haven't been able to wash myself in... forever. He did it for me. Thantasy: [Jayne] How thoughtful of him! Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, Christine, I think it's okay to wash your face and hands, but... Thantasy: [Jayne] we're going to call the police and I think they will want to have you examined.....for evidence. Thantasy: [Jayne] You can do that, can't you? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Face falls) Oh, God, you're right. I... yes. If it'll get him put away, yes. Thantasy: [Jayne] We want to put Dr. Haney away for a long time. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm proud of you, Christine. Cardaniel80: [Christine] If they want me to hold off on peeing, they're just out of luck. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs.> No, you can pee. Thantasy: [Jayne] Do you have any idea how long you've been here, Christine? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Sits on toilet) It's been so long since I was out of that room, without being turned off... Oh! (mouth drops open) I don't even know how long! What day is it, Jayne? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, it's Thursday, December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day. A day that will live in infamy. Thantasy: [Jayne] And it will also live in all of our memories for another reason now. Thantasy: [Jayne] How long does that mean you've been here? Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Gasps) It was.. October. Two days before Halloween. And now it's .. December?? How long is that, I can't think. I missed November. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, we'll make sure you have a big belated Thanksgiving dinner. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Grins) I know one turkey I want to see cooked. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, well, we almost carved him up earlier. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Good! Oh, can't we just finish him off? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, I'm tempted. But I would rather see him suffer. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Starts peeing, not seeming to mind that Jayne is right there.) Thantasy: [Jayne] He's going to be away for a long, long time. Cardaniel80: [Christine] It's funny, that's not something you think you'd miss, that sound... pee hitting the water. I've been going in that litter box. Thantasy: [Jayne] When the police and district attorney hear about the conditions he kept you under..... Thantasy: [Jayne] he is going to have to pay big time! Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Smiles.) Yeah, they'll freak, won't they? This will be SO great, watching what they do to him. Thantasy: [Jayne] And not just by going to prison, either. Cardaniel80: [Christine] What do you mean? What else can they do to him? Thantasy: [Jayne] You'll make a very sympathetic victim when it comes to awarding victim's compensation. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Oh! What do you think I'll get?? (Stands up and wipes the dampness between her legs.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Almost anything he's got, you can probably have. Thantasy: [Jayne] This house....his car.... Thantasy: [Jayne] He won't be needing them anyway. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Well, I'm not sure if I'd want the house. (Looks around, as if surveying beyond the room.) I've spent enough time here. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, well, I see your point. Maybe other property he owns. Thantasy: [Jayne] Like his share of the "health club." Cardaniel80: [Christine] <Washing face.> Do you know about that? Yes, it is like a club. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. I've been there. In addition to wanting to make me his personal sex slave.... Thantasy: [Jayne] he also wanted me to pull receptionist duty there. Thantasy: [Jayne] Actually, I met some very nice people the night that I was there. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Is Jimmy still there? (smiling) He's so sweet! I was scared of him at first... for about five minutes. Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, Jimmy's a darling! Thantasy: [Jayne] And he likes his job too much to want to leave. Thantasy: [Jayne] I just met two of the girls, Katie and Sarah. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Oh! You mean... we could get that? We could own it? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes -- "We"? Thantasy: [Jayne] You're the victim. I escaped -- narrowly, but I escaped. Cardaniel80: [Christine] He hurt you as much as he hurt me... not the same way... not the same way yet, anyway. But he hurt you. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. He almost cost me my life. Not in the way that he had planned.... Cardaniel80: [Christine] I mean, I asked him to put this thing in me! I wanted it, it was so exciting! But you... Thantasy: [Jayne] I was prepared to die, rather than be his slave. Thantasy: [Jayne] It almost went that way. Cardaniel80: [Christine] He made both of us slaves. In different ways, but it's the same thing. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, there's food for thought. Thantasy: [Jayne] I actually did enjoy my night at the club. Thantasy: [Jayne] And yes, the device is exciting -- when you have a choice about it. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, if you're finished with the potty and washbasin, let's go call the police. Cardaniel80: [Christine] Listen, we'll share it equally, whatever we get. I owe you so much! If it hadn't been for you... (Shudders.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Puts her hand on Christine's shoulder> We'll talk about it. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Puts hand over Jayne's, smiles.) Okay. Thantasy: [Jayne] Right now, let's get Lon where he belongs. Cardaniel80: [Christine] (Deep breath.) Okay, I'm ready. I think I'll want that overcoat for when we go... out. Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay! <Opens door.> Thantasy: <Rick and Mavis are waiting in the hall as Jayne and Christine emerge from the bathroom.> Thantasy: [Jayne] We're done in the powder room. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Good, our dinner's getting cold. The waiter wants to give us the check. Thantasy: [Mavis] Is everything okay? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, everything's fine. Cardaniel80: [Rick] What's next? Police? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, let's go down and call the police and keep Lon company until they get here. Thantasy: [Jayne] We can talk to him about his future. Cardaniel80: [Rick] We can sing Johnny Cash songs for him. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Can't remember the words to "Folsom Prison Blues." I'll wing it. Thantasy: [Mavis] And we can teach him how to sing falsetto. I'm sure they guys in the joint will love that. Cardaniel80: [Rick] They'd like him dressed the way he is now too. Thantasy: [Jayne] No kidding. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, we must tell him what wonders await him, now. Thantasy: [Jayne] <As they head downstairs, calls from top of stairs>: Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, Lon! Look who we found!
END OF ACT VIII |