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DRAMATIS PERSONAE FOR ACT SIX
Setting: Rick and Jayne's house.
Thantasy: <About 2 a.m., Jayne wakes up. She is delighted to find her head on Rick's lap and her feet in Mavis's lap. Mavis has turned on the tv with the volume down to give them something to look at. Rick and Mavis have drifted off to sleep.> Cardaniel80: (In their sleep, Rick and Mavis have leaned toward each other and now Mavis's head is on Rick's shoulder... and they're holding hands, not as any sort of prelude to sex, but it just came naturally to them, to represent their feeling that they need to work together to help Jayne.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Opens eyes.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Feels Jayne stirring, comes alert.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Jayne feels herself resting on their laps.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Jayne feels very, very loved.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Jayne sees Edgar is in his cage, looking thoughtfully at her, and that delights her too.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Rick's hand still resting in her hair where he fell asleep petting her.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Jayne recognizes the movie on television at once, and it makes her laugh -- her first sound is one of laughter!> Thantasy: [Jayne] HA HA HA! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Eyes now open wide, looks to see if Mavis is awake.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Awakened by the sound of Jayne's laughter.> Thantasy: [Jayne] That is priceless! Thantasy: [Mavis] What, Jayne? What's priceless? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Loves the sound, though his first thought is wondering whether it's the beginnings of hysteria. Needs to wait and see.) What, sweetheart? Thantasy: [Jayne] The movie on tv! Thantasy: [Jayne] So appropriate!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks at screen) What is it? Thantasy: [Jayne] THE HORN BLOWS AT MIDNIGHT Thantasy: [Jayne] with Jack Benny! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Puzzled, wondering whether he should know the reference.) Something about horns? Thantasy: [Jayne] Never mind! I'll tell you later! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Thought he played the violin. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, and he should have stuck to it and avoided making this movie! Thantasy: [Mavis] It was such a clunker, Benny frequently made fun of it on his radio and television shows. Thantasy: [Jayne] After all these years, it's finally given me a laugh! Thantasy: [Mavis] That may make you one of the first. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Laughs softly, feeling his own Jayne is back in place of the stranger they fell asleep with.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Anyway, hi, guys! Thantasy: [Mavis] How are you feeling, Jayne? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Bends over and kisses her ear) Hi sweety. Thantasy: [Jayne] Much, much better! Thantasy: [Jayne] Right, Edgar? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Reaches over, opens his cage.> Thantasy: (Edgar immediately jumps on her finger.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <She lifts him to her mouth and they kiss....> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grin widening) Found Aunt Jayne, did you, Edgar? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sits up, raising Edgar to her shoulder.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Still holding Mavis's hand, gives it a squeeze.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Looks at both Rick and Mavis, notices them holding hands, is very happy about that.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on, guys, let's go back to the tub. Thantasy: [Jayne] We have some unfinished business. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Laughs) Never can be too clean, I always say. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Gets up and offers a hand to each of them.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Somewhat puzzled by the abrupt change, but glad.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Moves closer and hugs Jayne tightly) Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on guys! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Last one in is.... what? Thantasy: [Jayne] I never did check the oil to see if I turned it off. Thantasy: [Jayne] Did either of you do that? Thantasy: [Mavis] Uh, no. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Shakes head) I'm guessing it's off, since the house is still here. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, hold on. I'll be right back. <Goes to kitchen.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Whispering.> This is more like Jayne! Thantasy: [Mavis] I'm still a little worried, but not as much. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Whispers back) Not just like her, it is her. Even Edgar can tell the difference. Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, I'm glad! Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'm glad but wary. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Returning.> Yes, I am a conscientious cook. I turned everything off. Thantasy: [Jayne] Let's head for the tub. Edgar can come along. He's been in his cage all night! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To Mavis.) When was his last birdbath? Thantasy: [Jayne] He'll stay right where Aunt Jayne puts him down. Thantasy: [Jayne] Won't you Edgar? Thantasy: (Edgar seems to nod.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiles, closes his eyes, shakes his head. Something about that bird.) Thantasy: <They all return to the tub.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Puts Edgar on the back of a chair.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Turns, hugs them both, Rick first, then Mavis....> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Leads the way into the tub.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Thinking: Jayne is always pretty self-assured, but she seems more in control even than usual. Not a bad sign, though, he decides.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sits.> Ahhhhh!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Also sits.> Yes!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Still warm? (Just getting in) Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ohhh, feels just right. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Warm and much better than the couch -- even with two of the nicest cushions a girl could want! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, you brought your cushions along. Thantasy: [Mavis] Hey, watch that! You know I'm self-conscious about my thighs! Thantasy: [Jayne] Your thighs, my dear, leave nothing to be desired! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Awww... (running his hand along Mavis's thigh) nothing at all to complain about. Thantasy: [Jayne] Your thighs, in fact, are desire. <Strokes them under the water> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looking at Jayne) There's a thigh here for each of us... Thantasy: [Jayne] <Turning to Rick> And your lap is very nice as a cushion, too. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Even with that stiff little prong in the middle? Thantasy: [Jayne] Even if it does have one enormous lump, from time to time. <Strokes his cock.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Picks up the soap, makes a lather in her hands....> Thantasy: [Jayne] You two sit back. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hey, thought you liked my lump. Thantasy: [Jayne] I love it, darling! Thantasy: [Jayne] I got to be the do-me queen the last time we were here. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Begins to wash them lovingly, dividing her attention between them.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ahhh, does the do-me queen intend to return the favor to her grateful subjects? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Leans back and allows Jayne to minister to her.> Thantasy: [Mavis] Ahhhhh!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Feels his lump returning to prominence.) Thantasy: [Jayne] That's right dear. This is one queen who freely bestows the blessing of the queen's touch. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Loves feeling her hands on him... HER hands. The real Jayne.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <After she has bathed their torsos, she reaches down for their feet.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Raising their legs, she gently washes each foot thoroughly.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Getting in between the toes.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Mmmm (eyes closed, savoring the feeling) Got twenty little piggies down here. Thantasy: [Mavis] Ahhhhh Thantasy: [Mavis] You are very, very good at this. Thantasy: [Jayne] Nurse's training. Cardaniel80: [Rick] She has to be, as we are very very dirty. Thantasy: [Jayne] Lots and lots of bed-baths. Thantasy: [Jayne] <She then runs the wash cloth over their legs, going from one to the other under water.....> Thantasy: [Jayne] <working up all four legs, evenly, reaching their genitals...> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Mmmm! (Feels chills each time the cloth comes close to his crotch.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Cock very still now, and sensitive to the fabric as it moves along the shaft.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Also massages the genitals with the wash cloth...> Thantasy: [Jayne] <but then lays the cloth aside and uses her bare hands.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Spreads legs slightly.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Has always loved her fingers on his cock.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Strokes Rick's cock, fingers Mavis's pussy.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <No urgency, no rush, nothing frantic.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Watches the smiles form on each of their lips.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Leans forward to kiss Jayne's shoulder, but doesn't want to interrupt.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Was very happy to awaken and find them holding hands while both caring for her.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <This will make what she has to say in the morning, much, much easier.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <She would never leave either of them alone.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Feels himself getting close, now. Has never reacted quite this quickly to a hand job, but he is so intensely in love right now.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <She would endure anything, if not doing so meant that they would be totally deserted by her leaving them....> Thantasy: [Jayne] <but, now, they will have each other to turn to.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Each other, and their happy, shared memories of her.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <She doesn't have to feel as bad, now....> Thantasy: [Jayne] <leaving them each with about the best person she could imagine!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Tries to keep sitting back and enjoying the feeling, succeeding for now, but feeling a desire to throw his arms around Jayne and hold her tightly to his chest, to feel her whole body pressed against him) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Leans forward, keeping herself balanced so that she does not fall into them... Thantasy: [Jayne] <presses one breast to each of them, continues to work them sexually. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Reaches out, puts one hand on Jayne's shoulder... > Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Heart beating faster, breathing faster) Keep this up we'll have to do the do-me queen one more time. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Finds Rick's hand with her other hand.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Feels Mavis's fingers wrapping themselves around his.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Bends down and kisses Rick's shoulder.> Thantasy: [Mavis] AHHH Thantasy: [Mavis] AHHHHHH Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, Jayne, Jayne... Thantasy: [Mavis] AHHHHHHH!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Begins to quiver with approaching climax!!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Delighted in their arousal!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Kisses Jayne on the lips, softly, really feeling their softness, their wetness, their dearness.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Closes eyes, getting very close now. Squeezes Mavis's hand.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Working Rick to bring him to Mavis's level of arousal.> Thantasy: [Mavis] AHHHHHHH!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Breathing in sighs as he feels himself ready to spill over...) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Trembling!!!!!> Thantasy: [Mavis] AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Fingers intertwined with Mavis's, sharing the feeling with her.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Explodes with orgasm!!! > Thantasy: [Mavis] AHHHHH!!!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Feel's Mavis's hand convulsively squeeze his... her cries send him over....) Cardaniel80: [Rick] NnnnGGGHHHH!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Delighted to see both her lovers climax together!!!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Hopes they will always have that good sense of timing!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Incredibly aroused at the thought of his seed and their juices all mixing together in the water, coating all of their bodies with the shared fluids of their excitement.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Embraces them both!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (In his excitement, reaches out and pulls both Mavis and Jayne towards him) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kissing each!> Thantasy: [Jayne] I love you both so much!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Gasping with continued orgasm, kisses both Jayne and Mavis, hard, passionately!!) Thantasy: [Jayne] I couldn't be any better off than I am right now! Thantasy: [Mavis] Me, neither, <Clinging to Jayne and Rick> Cardaniel80: [Rick] NNNGGGHHHHHH!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Pant) Oh, honey, that was incredible! Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] You are fantastic! Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, you two are incredible and fantastic, too. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I couldn't possibly love you more than I do right now. I'll give it a shot though (gasping for breath, grinning). Thantasy: [Jayne] <Turns around, settles in beside them.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, let's take at least a little time to bask in the afterglow of that! Cardaniel80: [Rick] I loved sharing it with you too, Mavis! (Kisses her again.) Thantasy: [Jayne] I like to admire my work! Cardaniel80: [Rick] We're a work in progress. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, we'll bring this work to perfection! Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. We will! Cardaniel80: [Rick] It's going to take a concentrated effort to top this, though. Thantasy: [Mavis] I'm so happy to be here! With both of you! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kisses Rick.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Settles in to bask in afterglow before the next round.> End of Scene i
Setting: Jayne and Rick's house.
Thantasy: <After a some more love-making, rather than risk drowning in the tub, Jayne, Rick, and Mavis moved to the bed, where they all quickly fell asleep in a loving embrace with Jayne in the middle.> Thantasy: <At about 8 o'clock, Jayne wakes up from another pleasant dream in which she visited Little Jayne, but this time they just had fun and played together> Thantasy: <Mavis and Rick still asleep> Thantasy: <Jayne quietly slips out from between them, not waking them.> Cardaniel80: (Rick dreaming of making love with both women in the tub.) Thantasy: <She moves their arms so that they are likely to move closer to each other in their sleep.> Thantasy: <Smiles at what she's done> Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on, Edgar! Let's go make breakfast! Thantasy: (Edgar flies to her shoulder.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <She leaves her lovers in bed, goes to kitchen.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <The tv is still on from last night.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Goes to kitchen, makes coffee.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sets up for a very full, good breakfast.....> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Not quite awake, stirs and moves closer to Mavis, attracted to her warmth.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Bacon out, eggs ready to be scrambled, cheese and veggies ready to mix in, bread in toaster!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <feeds some bread crusts to Edgar.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <She sits and drinks the first cup of coffee herself, watching the sunrise, thinking about how she is going to tell Rick and Mavis about her plight and her decision.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay, Edgar, let's go wake up Mavis and Rick! Thantasy: [Jayne] <As she passes tv, she notices the movie that's on and turns up the volume.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <It's an Alfred Hitchcock movie, STRANGERS ON A TRAIN, nearing the conclusion.> Cardaniel80: (Rick and Mavis now resting against each other, not aware of it.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Enters bedroom, sees them sleeping together.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Hopes that that will be a scene repeated many, many times in the future.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <She is glad that she has brought them together.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <This will make things easier for everyone, better for everyone.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <At least two people will get to live happily ever after!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <And she'll be happy, too. She's sure of it.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on, sleepy-heads! Rise and shine. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Jostles their feet to wake them...> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Has hard-on from dream) Mmggff? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Surprised to see Jayne standing there.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Then who's she holding????> Thantasy: [Mavis] OH!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Surprised to wake up embracing Mavis, but doesn't mind.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Moves away slightly, but not much, as Jayne is smiling.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiles at Mavis) Won't bite unless you want me to. Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on. Get up, get up!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] Just a little early in the morning! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Wha', before noon? Thantasy: [Jayne] I've got coffee all made. And breakfast will just take a few minutes. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Coffee... must have coffee... Thantasy: [Mavis] Uh, can I use the potty first? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Exits, goes out sets coffee, cups, cream and suger on the coffee table.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] You may potty to your heart's content. Thantasy: [Mavis] Thanks! <Makes bee-line for potty!> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Waits for them to be up and seated on the couch before starting food cooking.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Gets up, stretches, puts on a robe.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Relieved, straggles out of bathroom in robe she found there.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Meets Rick in the hall.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Walks with Rick to living room.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Goes out to living room, towards kitchen, sees coffee set up on coffee table.) What, TV breakfast? Thantasy: [Jayne] No, you two sit and have coffee. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm setting up breakfast in the dining room. Thantasy: [Jayne] Do either of you want toaster-waffles instead of toast? Thantasy: [Mavis] No, toast is fine with me. Sure you don't want help? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh! We got waffles? Any syrup? Thantasy: [Jayne] Positive. It will just be a few! Yes, we do! Two toasts and one waffle it is! Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, look. It's STRANGERS ON A TRAIN! It's almost at the end. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Look, sweety, I could at least pop things in the toaster if you're juggling other stuff... Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm fine! Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, let's watch this scene. I love it!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, you've seen this one, Mavis? Get me caught up on the story. Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, that guy running and jumping on the carousel -- he's the killer! Thantasy: [Mavis] And now, this is what's a little incredible, but it makes for good scene... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh! Okay, what's the McGuffin in this one? Thantasy: [Mavis] The cop shoots at him and hits the carousel operator, kills him... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Damn! Never thought running a carousel was that hazardous. Thantasy: [Mavis] Now, I would really like to think that a cop would know better than to shoot into a crowd of whirling people!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hell, Ward Bond shoots at an entire street full of bystanders in "It's a Wonderful Life." Thantasy: [Mavis] See, the operator dies, throws the carousel into high gear!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] I mean, it's exciting cinema..... Thantasy: [Mavis] but, I'm sure that in real life, they would have something like a dead man's switch, like they have on trains and subways. Thantasy: [Mavis] So that the machine would stop, if the operator lost consciousness!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <They watch the whirling, exciting scene...> Thantasy: [Mavis] <see the old carney crawl under the moving carousel to shut it off> Thantasy: [Mavis] <which he does too abruptly....> Thantasy: [Mavis] <and the whole thing screeches to a halt, throwing people and wooden horses everywhere!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'd sure sue! Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, I would think that cop would have to turn in his badge! Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay! Breakfast is ready! Come and get it! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Rests right ankle on left thigh as he sips coffee. Robe opens up. He smiles and adjusts it to cover his cock, barely.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Stands and offers Mavis his hand to help her up.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Takes Rick's hand as they go to the dining room> Thantasy: [Mavis] Wow! This is a breakfast and a half! Thantasy: [Jayne] Glad you like it. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Toaster pops> Oops, there's the waffles! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Quickly fetches them and returns.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Blueberry or maple syrup? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Who'd you invite, the high school football team? (Eyes light up at rare sight of scrambled eggs. Breakfast is usually rushed in the morning.) Looks great, sweety. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Fetches both types, so that he can change his mind if he wants to.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sits, smiles at them.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, blueberry, perfect! Thantasy: [Mavis] If we ever do this at my place, I'm afraid it will be cold cereal and milk! Thantasy: [Mavis] Maybe toast. Thantasy: [Mavis] Coffee will be instant. Cardaniel80: [Rick] That's what it mostly is here. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Hopes that Mavis learns to be a better cook, for Rick's sake> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Kisses Jayne.) But my baby is a wonderful cook. Thank you, dear, this is really special. Thantasy: [Jayne] Thanks! Mavis, I was wondering, do you think you could take next Friday off from work? Thantasy: [Mavis] I suppose so. Why? Thantasy: [Jayne] I was hoping you could come over Thursday night... Thantasy: [Jayne] And maybe... Thantasy: [Jayne] stay? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, sure. I have time off coming. And I was... Thantasy: [Mavis] kind of thinking of inviting myself anyway.... Thantasy: [Mavis] because TCM is showing three different version of Poe's THE PI.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis, I won't want to watch tv Thursday night... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Need me to take off too, hon? I've got a couple of personal leave days stored up. Thantasy: [Jayne] and yes, Rick, I was counting on you being able to have the day off. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Trying to think what Thursday is. Sees Mavis looking at him, looks back and shrugs.) Thantasy: [Jayne] See, Thursday night will be a very special night.... Thantasy: [Jayne] for all of us, but especially for me. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm going to stay home with the people I love most.... Thantasy: [Jayne] instead of going someplace else. Cardaniel80: [Rick] You got that Head Nurse job?! Thantasy: [Jayne] Uh, Rick, no. Thantasy: [Mavis] What's up, Jayne? What's wrong? Thantasy: [Jayne] Nothing is wrong. Everything is very, very right. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I bet we need to finish breakfast before she tells us anything. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Tries to find the right words to tell them.> Thantasy: [Jayne] I don't want you two to be upset. I know you will be, but, please... hear me out. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Eyes narrow) Now, you're sure everything's okay? Thantasy: [Jayne] Thursday night..... Thantasy: [Jayne] I plan to die. Thantasy: [Mavis] JAYNE!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Jaw drops) Honey? Thantasy: [Jayne] I want to do it here, with you two, in a setting of love and understanding, and in as an erotic exciting manner as we can devise among us.. Thantasy: [Mavis] Jayne, why? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Reaches over to take her hand!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] ...... I knew it! You do have..... is it cancer, sweetheart? (Voice shaking) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I've decided that I simply can't live with .... Thantasy: [Jayne] certain things.... Thantasy: [Jayne] no, it's not cancer. Cardaniel80: [Rick] What things? What's happening? Thantasy: [Mavis] Jayne, please. I have to ask... Thantasy: [Mavis] even in front of Rick..... Thantasy: [Mavis] Jayne, Thursday, when you went to see Lon..... Thantasy: [Mavis] did he rape you? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Rick's jaw clamps shut. If she says yes...) Thantasy: [Jayne] No. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs just a little.> That's what's supposed to happen Thursday. Thantasy: [Mavis] <shaking her head> WHAT?!?!?! Cardaniel80: [Rick] What! Look, it's okay, we just need to call the police.... Thantasy: [Jayne] NO! Thantasy: [Jayne] No police! Thantasy: [Mavis] Now, hold on!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] I.... but how... why..... Thantasy: [Mavis] I know that doctors and others in the medical profession have to lead organized lives..... Thantasy: [Mavis] but are you saying he made an appointment to rape you????????????? Thantasy: [Jayne] <laughs> It sounds so funny when you say it that way. Thantasy: [Jayne] But, yes. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey, why can't we just tell the cops, and.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Because Lon has a hold over me. Thantasy: [Jayne] If we call the police, I'll just die sooner. Thantasy: [Jayne] It's very, very hard to explain.... Thantasy: [Jayne] I really don't want to go into the details now. Cardaniel80: [Rick] What could it possibly be?? I know everything about you, I'd know anything he could blackmail you over.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, I want to hear details!!!! Is it blackmail??????? Thantasy: [Jayne] No, it isn't blackmail. It's much more insidious than that. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay, he knew you in college, is it something you did in college? Thantasy: [Jayne] You see, while I was on the operating table.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon put something inside me. Thantasy: [Jayne] Something that he can use to control me. Thantasy: [Jayne] If I don't show up Thursday, he can use it to kill me. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Starts to say something and stops. Horrible suspicion starts creeping in.) Thantasy: [Mavis] What? Why? Thantasy: [Jayne] He wants me as his sex slave. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Opens mouth) Can... Can't somebody take it out? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I'm sure it can be taken out -- he says not, but I'm sure that's not true. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Breathing hard through nose, rapidly) Thantasy: [Jayne] With proper life support and careful surgery and long time to recover....I could probably survive. Thantasy: [Jayne] But it would require his help..... Cardaniel80: [Rick] What is it? What does it do? Thantasy: [Jayne] The thing about the device that makes it so powerful is that.... Thantasy: [Jayne] if a signal is not sent to it every 12 hours.... Thantasy: [Jayne] it will cause my autonomic nervous system to shut down. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'll quit breathing, my heart will stop, I'll die. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Voice shaking) He... did this... to you? Thantasy: [Jayne] He can also send a signal to make that happen as well as to prevent it. Thantasy: [Jayne] If he doesn't type in a code in this little box he carries, when 12 hours pass, I will automatically shut down. Cardaniel80: [Rick] And... he won't... let you live... unless you're.... his sex slave? Thantasy: [Jayne] If I don't show up at his place Thursday by midnight -- he wants me there at 7, but midnight is my, pardon the expression, deadline.... Thantasy: [Jayne] he will send a signal that will kill me or.... Thantasy: [Jayne] not send the signal that will save me. Thantasy: [Jayne] I don't know which. Thantasy: [Mavis] I can't believe this!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Believe it. He gave me a demonstration, both of his ability to short-circuit my capacity for voluntary movement and his ability to stop my breathing. Thantasy: [Jayne] I couldn't see well from where I was lying, and I couldn't move to see any better, but he does it all with a little control box, about the size of a tv remote control. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks at Jayne for a long moment, then dashes out of the room. They hear him rooting around in the bedroom closet.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] What are you doing? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Fuck! Where's the baseball bat? Thantasy: [Jayne] NO!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] You can't go and attack him!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Come back and sit down!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Returns to living room, bat in hand) I'll kill him! Thantasy: [Jayne] If he's killed, I'll die!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] See, only he knows the code that can save me. Thantasy: [Jayne] Someone else might know it, but... Thantasy: [Jayne] we would have to find that someone else first! Thantasy: [Jayne] Until then, hell, if Lon can't get to his little control box when it's time to send the code that keeps me alive, well, I'm dead. Cardaniel80: [Rick] But.... (moves his jaw, trying to think of a way around that.) Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, how about this? Thantasy: [Mavis] How about if I put a gun to his head... Thantasy: [Mavis] and say, ever heard the expression, "In one ear and out the other?" Thantasy: [Mavis] "Think about all that that can mean for about five seconds and then tell me the code that controls Jayne!" Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Catching on) He could kill her before you ever got that close. Thantasy: [Jayne] Besides, he would think you were bluffing. Thantasy: [Jayne] And you would be! Thantasy: [Jayne] If he dies without telling the code, I die. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I wouldn't be bluffing! I never thought of killing anybody before in my life, but.... Thantasy: [Jayne] And he could tell you the wrong code.... Thantasy: [Jayne] make you think I was safe..... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh! Shit! Thantasy: [Jayne] and then I would die anyway. Thantasy: [Jayne] Listen, you two! Thantasy: [Jayne] I know you're trying to help, but please!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I've made my decision. Thantasy: [Jayne] I want your support. Thantasy: [Jayne] Let's spend the next six days sharing as much love as we can... Thantasy: [Jayne] and let's plan a nice, beautiful death for me. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey... okay, let's say that's your decision for now. Can we still keep looking for a way out? We've got five days. Thantasy: [Jayne] I will not have myself controlled by him! Thantasy: [Jayne] I would rather die than that! Thantasy: [Mavis] Now, wait! Thantasy: [Mavis] I'm not so willing to give up so fast! Thantasy: [Mavis] If we can't think of something, sure....I'll help you die. Thantasy: [Mavis] But there has to be a way out of this. Thantasy: [Mavis] When somebody is as arrogant as he is, he has to have made a mistake! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Gasps) The clinic! This is the clinic job! You said Tuesdays and Thursdays. What happens Tuesday? Thantasy: [Jayne] Tuesday? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, Tuesday! Thantasy: [Jayne] That's part of the kind of sex slave he wants me to be. Cardaniel80: [Rick] So you're seeing him Tuesday too? Thantasy: [Jayne] See, Tuesday, I'm supposed to go play receptionist at a brothel, a "special" brothel. Thantasy: [Jayne] I don't think he'll be there. Thantasy: [Mavis] What's special about it? Thantasy: [Jayne] It's a necrobabe brothel. Thantasy: [Mavis] A what!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] See that's the other thing about this device.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Because it can turn off my voluntary muscle control as well as the involuntary... Thantasy: [Jayne] It can turn me into what he calls the "perfect necrobabe." Thantasy: [Jayne] Actually, that's what's odd about this. I really, well, could find that idea appealing. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Eyes widen) And so he's trapped a bunch of women and made them necrobabe whores? Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, you two do both know how I love to play dead. No, they aren't trapped. Thantasy: [Jayne] They were volunteers... Thantasy: [Jayne] And I can see how someone would volunteer for that, really. Cardaniel80: [Rick] *Cough* WHAT?? Thantasy: [Jayne] But I wasn't a volunteer! I didn't have a choice. Thantasy: [Jayne] He forced me! Cardaniel80: [Rick] So on Tuesday you have to... to.... Thantasy: [Jayne] And when I told him that, he said, well, it really isn't a matter of forcing.... Thantasy: [Jayne] He doesn't even seem to understand that he's raping me! Cardaniel80: [Rick] And you'll be raped by a bunch of strangers on Tuesday? Thantasy: [Jayne] No, I don't have to do anything Tuesday but take money and welcome clients. Thantasy: [Jayne] He wants me for himself, he says. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Blinks) Oh! And... so the girls are all volunteers, on Tuesday? They're all doing it because they want to? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. Thantasy: [Jayne] I can understand that part of it. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I... I can kind of see that part. I mean, I know you, and I know there are a lot of women like you. Thantasy: [Jayne] But, he has just put such a tight hold on me... Thantasy: [Jayne] that I can't live like this. Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, one power failure at the wrong time -- and I'm history! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay... listen, can we still spend the time trying to think of a way out? We don't have to give up yet. Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, what sort of device is this control box? Thantasy: [Jayne] Like I said,It's small, about the size of a tv remote. Thantasy: [Mavis] A tv remote that works all the way across town? Thantasy: [Jayne] No, the signal is amplified by a radio somewhere in his office. Thantasy: [Jayne] I think at close range, the handheld device does all the work. Cardaniel80: [Rick] If we could find the radio and smash it... no, you have to get the signal. Shit. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes! Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, how he gets the signal to the radio when he isn't in his office, I don't know. Thantasy: [Mavis] Maybe he uses a telephone signal? Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh GOD!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] It's worse than I thought! Cardaniel80: [Rick] What?? Thantasy: [Jayne] My life not only depends on the power company... Thantasy: [Jayne] but also on the telephone company!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm dead meat! Good thing I've already decided to die. Cardaniel80: [Rick] If the Postal Service gets in there somehow... sorry. Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, this is so DAMN irresponsible of him!!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] To put me in this kind of jeopardy!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey, irresponsible is hardly the word. The guy is a monster. Thantasy: [Jayne] If he dies, Thantasy: [Jayne] if he forgets, Thantasy: [Jayne] if he drops the box down a sewer Thantasy: [Jayne] if the power goes out... Thantasy: [Jayne] now, if the phone company loses its signal -- if any of those things happen, I'm toast! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Maybe he's at least got a battery backup. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm sure he has a battery backup, that that's one more thing that could fail. Cardaniel80: [Rick] We've still got five days. We're all smart people, we can think of something. Thantasy: [Jayne] I could die without him even intending for me to! Thantasy: [Jayne] and that doesn't just endanger me! Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, I said to him,..... Thantasy: [Jayne] I suppose, if I decide not to come Thursday, I should make sure I'm not driving a car at midnight... Thantasy: [Jayne] and he so smugly said, "that would be a good idea!" Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, I could have a wreck and kill someone. Thantasy: [Jayne] He doesn't care! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grimly) We're going to save you somehow. Save you and get him. Thantasy: [Jayne] Darling, it's hopeless! He's made the trap too tight! Cardaniel80: [Rick] NOTHING is hopeless. Not ever. We can do this! Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, Jayne. You've been reacting emotionally, like a victim... Thantasy: [Mavis] You've been processing the emotional side of this. Thantasy: [Mavis] You haven't had time to even try to think of a way out! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Five days. There's three of us working on it, so that's fifteen days, really. We can do it. Thantasy: [Jayne] But Mavis, how can there be a way out! The trap is too perfect! Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, it's hardly perfect! Thantasy: [Mavis] In fact, it hasn't worked worth a shit! Thantasy: [Jayne] What do you mean? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks at Mavis) What are you thinking, hon? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, so far, he isn't going to get what he wants. Thantasy: [Mavis] He isn't going to get to have you for a sex slave.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] But we're losing Jayne! We're not coming out ahead here, yet. Thantasy: [Mavis] He won't even have the chance to kill you himself. Thantasy: [Mavis] So far, his plan is a complete failure -- from his side! Thantasy: [Jayne] <smiles> You're right! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, it'd help if he knew that. Maybe he'd give up and call off the game. Thantasy: [Mavis] Maybe, but can we take that chance? No, I don't think so. Thantasy: [Jayne] But he's got me so limited! Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, if he's limited you, he's limited himself. Thantasy: [Mavis] That's the way it has to work! <Spoken with the conviction of someone who has seen a lot of old movies.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, he hasn't murdered anybody yet, right? He screws himself if he kills her. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, he MAY have murdered someone. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks at Jayne) Huh? Thantasy: [Jayne] His ex-nurse, Christine Jenkins, hasn't been heard from for weeks. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ex-nurse? What happened? Thantasy: [Jayne] She didn't even pick up her last paycheck. Thantasy: [Jayne] That's another thing -- he wants me to be his assistant in future operations because, he told me, he "lost" his last nurse. Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, that's another failure! He won't have his ready assistant on hand! Thantasy: [Mavis] The guy is striking out! Thantasy: [Jayne] But only because I've opted to die. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Rests face on open hands, elbows on table) So he's a killer already. He has nothing to lose by killing you. Thantasy: [Jayne] I said, may have killed her. Thantasy: [Jayne] We don't really know. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I guess we have to assume he has. As far as this argument goes. Thantasy: [Jayne] She might be somewhere. She might be able to help. Thantasy: [Jayne] But we don't have time to find her. Thantasy: [Jayne] Like I say, we're really hemmed in. Thantasy: [Mavis] But he's hemmed in, too! Thantasy: [Jayne] How do you mean? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To Mavis) How, hon? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, assuming that he's telling the truth, he has to be near his little box. Cardaniel80: [Rick] It's pocket size, right? Cardaniel80: [Rick] He can always have it with him. Thantasy: [Mavis] If it falls into someone else's hands, he loses control. Cardaniel80: [Rick] But we don't know the code! Thantasy: [Mavis] He has to send the signal every twelve hours. That's a limitation on him as well as you. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yeah, where's that get us, though? Thantasy: [Mavis] He probably could send it more often. Cardaniel80: [Rick] At least he won't be taking any long trips, I guess. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes. I can't travel, but neither can he. Unless he leaves the box in someone else's control. Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, we also have some idea of when he sends it. Thantasy: [Jayne] What do you mean, we know when he sends the signal????????? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, within limits. Thantasy: [Mavis] I mean, I think we can have some idea of when he doesn't send it. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Seems to me he could be sending the signal whenever he feels like it, as long as twelve hours doesn't go by. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I don't guess he could do it while he's in surgery, but other than that... Thantasy: [Mavis] I mean, he's probably looking forward to his tryst with you on Thursday so much.... Thantasy: [Mavis] that I doubt he will want to interrupt it to send you your booster signal. Thantasy: [Mavis] And I don't think he would want you dropping dead at the brothel for real. That could be bad for business. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, what are you thinking, maybe he'd do it about noon that day? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, that would make some sense. How long were you supposed to be with him Thursday? Thantasy: [Jayne] He said he wanted full use of me for the five hours from seven to midnight. Cardaniel80: [Rick] But he wouldn't kill you until midnight? Thantasy: [Mavis] Now, assuming he plans to make this a routine thing.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, he plans to have it stretch on and on..... Thantasy: [Jayne] That's why I can't face it.... Thantasy: [Jayne] If it were just one time, I know you two could help me get over it.... Thantasy: [Jayne] but this will continue... Thantasy: [Jayne] forever... Thantasy: [Jayne] So, I don't even want to let it start! Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, it won't. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I don't want him to have you even once! Well, you know that. Thantasy: [Mavis] We can't count on it, but I'm sure he would make a daily schedule.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hey, that does make sense. A lot of doctors are obsessive like that. Thantasy: [Mavis] within limits, I bet he plans to send the signal at the same time every day. Thantasy: [Mavis] High noon makes a certain amount of sense, because most workdays, even for doctors, break there... Thantasy: [Mavis] and that would be 12 hours away from midnight... Thantasy: [Mavis] and midnight was his cut off line for you.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] I don't think he'd stretch it a whole twelve hours. I'm betting eight. Three times a day he'd do it. Thantasy: [Mavis] He could do it every fifteen minutes..... Thantasy: [Mavis] but I think we can almost count on the fact that next Thursday, and probably Tuesday, too.... Thantasy: [Mavis] he doesn't plan to have to send your signal between seven and midnight.... Thantasy: [Mavis] So that would mean that the next signal would have to be sent somewhere between midnight and seven a.m. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'm not sure I see how that helps us yet. We going to spy on him or something? Watch him do it and steal the number? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, I'm just trying to see what limits he's put on himself.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Okay, I'll agree with you so far. In the wee hours Friday, he would punch in the number. Thantasy: [Mavis] I would guess that he probably plans to pat you on your ass and send you out the door at midnight. Thantasy: [Mavis] and then give you your lease on life for the next twelve hours, and tuck himself for the night. Thantasy: [Mavis] But all we really can be fairly sure of, is that you will be in the clear for five hours..... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Thursday, you mean? It's not going to happen, though. Jayne's not going. Thantasy: [Mavis] and, if at midnight, he doesn't have his box, he can't send the signal to save you. Thantasy: [Jayne] And I'll die, just like I plan to. So what? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Which night are we talking about? Thantasy: [Mavis] Thursday night -- or Friday morning, to be technical. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, since I plan to be dead by then, I don't see that it matters. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Thursday night he won't be trying to save her. She won't show, and he'll kill her. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, and obviously, he isn't counting on that at all. Thantasy: [Jayne] All I know is that I'm going to take charge! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes Jayne's hand and holds it tightly) I love you! If we don't get you out of this... I'm just... really proud of you. Thantasy: [Mavis] He didn't even consider that you would choose death over rape and slavery. Thantasy: [Mavis] He figures that you would choose life at any price... Thantasy: [Mavis] Which shows he doesn't understand you. Cardaniel80: [Rick] He sure as hell doesn't deserve you! Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I know that I'm not going to live with a sword of Damocles hanging over my head, waiting to fall at any moment. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, the sword of Damocles. Thantasy: [Mavis] The story of the king who, to help him keep his sense of perspective, slept with a heavy sword suspended over his head by a thin thread that could break at any second..... Thantasy: [Mavis] "Heavy, heavy hangs over head. Thantasy: [Mavis] Hmmmm. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looking at Mavis) You sound like you're thinking of something. Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, I just wonder if Poe was thinking of that when he wrote THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM. Cardaniel80: [Rick] The pendulum... it is kind of like this signal thing, isn't it? Periodically threatening her life? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Thinks.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Thinks.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Remembers STRANGERS ON A TRAIN> Thantasy: [Mavis] JAYNE!!!!!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] You wonderful babe!!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] You wonderful think-of-other-people-first babe!!!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] What?? (Takes Mavis's hand) What is it??? Thantasy: [Mavis] What you said, in his office!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] About driving a car? Thantasy: [Mavis] Your first reaction, after you realized the spot he had you in!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] If you died at the wrong time, somebody else could be hurt!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <HUGS HER!!!!!!> Thantasy: [Jayne] You mean???? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Mavis, honey, you've gotta tell us, what's going on? (Excited) Thantasy: [Mavis] YES!!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] LET'S MAKE SURE THAT IF SOMEBODY GETS HURT WHEN YOU DIE..... Thantasy: [Mavis] IT'S THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes!! How? How? Thantasy: [Jayne] You mean, like in..... Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, but the Vincent Price version, not the one with Boris and Bela!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] You're right!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh Mavis!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Not familiar) What are we going to do, get him in a car with her? Thantasy: [Jayne] No. Not in a car!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] But where? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, she can't fly a plane.... Thantasy: [Mavis] In his own house, probably... Thantasy: [Jayne] <The minds of Jayne and Mavis begin to race down the same track together so fast that they don't even need to complete their sentences to understand each other, rather like an old Mantan Moreland comedy rountine. [See Charlie Chan Movies, Birmingham Brown character.]> Thantasy: [Jayne] That means I'll have to.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, but first, we'll have to..... Thantasy: [Jayne] And how can we do that??? Thantasy: [Mavis] I know someone who can help..... Thantasy: [Jayne] And we also have to find a way to.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, that will take some doing..... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (In a state of puzzlement listening to this odd conversation.) Thantasy: [Mavis] But I think we can work that out.... Thantasy: [Jayne] So, I suppose Tuesday, I should.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, of course,, and maybe I could even.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes!!!!! And we could get Rick to...... Thantasy: [Mavis] That would be just perfect.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey, are you sure we shouldn't.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Baby I think were' on our way!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] But there is one thing, Jayne.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes? Thantasy: [Mavis] Now, this is serious. This will all depend on one thing... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes Jayne's hand again. And then Mavis's.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Which is????? Thantasy: [Mavis] You will have to be able to convince Lon that you are sexually aroused by this idea, so we can get close to him. Thantasy: [Mavis] Now, Jayne, do you think you can fake sexual arousal? Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'm sure that asshole wants to believe you'd jump in bed with him in a second. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs with relief> Oh, I can't fake serious feelings.... Thantasy: [Jayne] but when it comes to faking sexual arousal.... Thantasy: [Jayne] I can't begin to count the number of times..... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Blinks at her) Hey! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Jaw drops is disbelief.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Suddenly looks at them.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sees the startled expressions.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sees a slight bit of hurt.> Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, the number of times... Thantasy: [Jayne] with other people... Thantasy: [Jayne] not with you two.. Thantasy: [Jayne] never, no... Thantasy: [Jayne] certainly not with you, Rick... Thantasy: [Jayne] and certainly not with you, Mavis... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Squeezes her hand) I know. Thantasy: [Jayne] with other people.... Thantasy: [Jayne] not that there have been that many other people.... Thantasy: [Jayne] but with nobody in this room.... Thantasy: [Jayne] with Lon, yeah! Thantasy: [Jayne] I faked it with Lon.... Thantasy: [Jayne] lots of times.... Thantasy: [Jayne] almost all the time... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Really? Back then, you mean? Thantasy: [Jayne] but never, never,,, Thantasy: [Jayne] with you two.... Thantasy: [Jayne] You do.....believe that, don't you???????????????? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Clears throat> Thantasy: [Mavis] Jayne, darling..... Thantasy: [Mavis] Why don't you tell us again.... Thantasy: [Mavis] how much you would like us to kill you? Thantasy: [Mavis] I think I might have a more open mind on the subject, now. Thantasy: [Mavis] Just kidding.....almost! <Smiles.> End of Scene ii
Setting: Rick and Jayne's house.
Thantasy: <Later that morning, Jayne and Mavis return from a brief trip to the grocery and drug stores, each carrying bags. Rick is sitting in the living room watching tv.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Hi, honey, we're home! <Kisses him and heads for the kitchen with a couple sacks of groceries> Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, both of us. <Kisses Rick and heads for the bathroom with a sack each from the drug and grocery stores.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] What we got? More waffles, I hope. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, you did a real job on them this morning. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Where's Mavis going with that stuff? Thantasy: [Jayne] <After a few minutes putting things away in the kitchen, Jayne comes into the living room> Thantasy: [Jayne] Uh, Rick, do you think you'll need to use the bathroom during the next hour or so? Mavis and I will be tying it up for a while. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Haha! Uhh, can I run in there real quick? Thantasy: [Jayne] Sure! <Shouts> Mavis, Rick needs to go potty! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Coming out, has sacks in hand> Thantasy: [Mavis] Okay, but hurry up. Cardaniel80: [Rick] We could open a window, I don't think the neighbors got that. Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, good idea! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Opens window.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Goes in quickly, closes door. Curiosity makes him look around, but Mavis hasn't left anything that tells him anything.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <The women wait semi-patiently while Rick does his thing.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Sighing, zips up. If they want to tell me, they'll tell me.) Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Comes out) Listen, I'll help with anything you want.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Men are supposed to be so quick! Thantasy: [Jayne] Don't worry, dear, you will be plenty of help. Thantasy: [Jayne] Just sit down and watch tv. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Will I know how I'm helping? Thantasy: [Jayne] You'll know. Trust me. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Both women head for the bathroom, carrying the bags.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] What's on... Oh! Dracula en espanol! Thantasy: [Jayne] <From behind the closed door, Rick hears an occasional burst of laughter and a few "Oh, shit!"s> Cardaniel80: [Rick] I hope they're not laying new tile. Thantasy: [Jayne] <A half-hour later, Jayne and Mavis emerge from the bathroom.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Mavis heads for the bedroom. Jayne goes over and stands by the open window.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Figure out how all your body parts work? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I hope so! We'll see. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Comes into the living room with small fan from bedroom.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Really, if you were playing around, you know you don't need to hide that from me. Thantasy: [Jayne] I know, darling. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Sets up fan to point in the direction of the window.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Uh, Rick, dearest? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Sweety? Thantasy: [Jayne] Would you come over here. please? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Your next experiment: what happens when the shit hits the fan. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Turns on fan.> Speaking thereof. Thantasy: [Jayne] Uh, darling, be a dear and smell my pussy? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ummmm, love to.... what am I looking for? Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Shrugs, relaxes.> Thantasy: [Jayne] SHIT! Thantasy: [Jayne] Misfire! Nothing happened! Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, back to the mad scientist's lab. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Trying to front-fart or something? Thantasy: [Jayne] We'll be right back. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Women return to bathroom.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] I'll be here. <Sits back down to watch the Spanish language version of DRACULA.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <About ten minutes later, the women re-emerge.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Sitting on the sofa.) Feel like I'm at a slumber party. Thantasy: [Jayne] <They resume positions.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay, darling. Muff whiffing time again. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I could smell both pussies blindfolded and try to guess which is which. Thantasy: [Jayne] I HOPE THAT WOULD BE NO PROBLEM! Thantasy: [Mavis] ME TOO. Thantasy: [Jayne] Come here like a good boy! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Bends down in front of Jayne's crotch.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yeah, it'd be fun though. Okay, fire away.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Shit! Still nothing! Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm just not like I was in college! Cardaniel80: [Rick] I could whip up some beans if that would help. Thantasy: [Jayne] Too much loving from a good man! <Pats Rick's cheek.> Thantasy: [Mavis] Okay, time for plan B. Thantasy: [Jayne] <The women return to the potty.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Back 15 minutes later.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay. This time, smell my sweet little ass! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Ah, another favorite part (goes behind her, kneels.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <She relaxes again. This time -- P.U. -- Rotten eggs a week old> Thantasy: [Jayne] YEA!!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Holy sh... (Sits down heavily.) Thantasy: [Mavis] Whew! I got that clear over here! Thantasy: [Jayne] Okay, the back door approach is the way to go. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Have you both tried it? We can have a stink-em contest. Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, what are we going to do about the next phase? Won't we need to...? Thantasy: [Mavis] Don't worry, I know someone who can help with that! Thantasy: [Mavis] Let's go get you a change of underwear at least!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Picks up cordless phone as the two women head for the bedroom.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] You're going to phone in an order for underwear? Thantasy: [Mavis] Something better than that! Cardaniel80: [Rick] If it's pizza, I could go for that a little later. Breakfast still settling. Thantasy: [Mavis] <After a few minutes, reappears, phone in hand, talking as she passes through the living room on the way to the kitchen> Thantasy: [Mavis] ...a couple different women. That's what Jayne and I need. Yes, we'll be careful of them, but make it someone you won't miss if we can't get them back to you...... Thantasy: [Mavis] <talks some more in the kitchen, inaudible> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Eyes widen) What the fuck? (Under breath.) Thantasy: [Mavis] <Re-enters living room, still talking> okay, Cher and Bette will do fine. Just put them in boxes and bring them over. You can come to the front door. It's a quiet neighborhood. No one will notice... <Goes into bedroom> Thantasy: [Jayne] <About 20 minutes later, the door bell rings> Thantasy: [Jayne] <from bedroom> Honey, would you get that, please? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To himself) Colonel Sanders special this week: Cher and Bette in a box. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Opens door.) Yes? Thantasy: <Standing at the door, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde, a Britney Spears look-alike> Well, hello handsome! Thantasy: <Very, very taken with Rick! Has two wig boxes in hand> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Looks her over quickly as a hot-blooded American male) Can I help you? Thantasy: [Mavis] <coming from bedroom> Thanks for coming so quickly! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Must be our order. Do I need to sign for anything? Thantasy: <Indicating Rick> And is this my reward for being such a fast delivery girl! Is he going to give me my, uh, tip? <seductively> Thantasy: I really do think I deserve a reward for being so.....fast! Cardaniel80: [Rick] In my next lifetime, maybe, I wouldn't be long for this one if I indulged here. Thantasy: [Mavis] Relax, Irving. He's straight and he's taken -- Twice! Thantasy: [Irving] <voice drops an octave> Oh, well, can't blame a queen for trying! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Closes eyes, opens them again to see if they'll work a little better.) Irving, is it? Thantasy: [Irving] Taken twice you say? Thantasy: [Irving] My, my! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiling) I'm twice as nice. Thantasy: [Mavis] This way to the girl's room, Irving. You can help us with these. Cardaniel80: [Rick] You look very nice, by the way, Irving. Thantasy: [Irving] Why, thank you!!!! Thantasy: [Irving] Maybe I should just stay here and....chat. You can manage, Mavis. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, keep in mind I'm, as they said, straight. Thantasy: [Mavis] No, Irving! We need your expert help! <grabs him by the hand, tugging> Thantasy: [Irving] Well, ta-ta! Catch you later!!! Oh, not so hard, girl! I'm coming! Thantasy: [Irving] <Follows Mavis to bedroom.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To self) Guess I'm still not needed in there. Back to El Dracula. Thantasy: <After about an hour, Irving/Britney re-enters living room, looks at Rick with appreciative eyes, but remembers he is taken twice. Claps hands> All right, girls, showtime! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Sits up, prepared to be an appreciative audience.) Thantasy: [Jayne] <Enters living room wearing long black wig, breasts slightly depressed, probably with duct tape.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] You look great, honey! Ready to do an infomercial? Thantasy: [Jayne] <Sings...> Thantasy: [Jayne] "I got the world on a string! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Enters wearing puffy red wig, breasts more than slightly augmented.> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Sings...> Thantasy: [Mavis] "Got that that string around my finger! Thantasy: [Jayne] "What a world! Thantasy: [Mavis] "What a life! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Both> "I'm in love!!!!!" Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Claps) Thantasy: [Jayne] <They do a few dance steps.> Thantasy: [Jayne] No! See, more with the hips, darling! Thantasy: [Mavis] No, put your whole body into it, especially up here! Thantasy: [Irving] You girls are shameless!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Jayne and Mavis laugh.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To self) I'm sure glad they're taking this whole death thing seriously. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Comes over, pecks you on the cheek.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, darling, we're off to do some undercover snooping! We'll be right back! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Also pecks you> Yes, we'll hurry! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, you certainly won't stand out as two world-famous celebs visiting town. Thantasy: [Irving] <Eying Rick> Uh, I'll just stay here and keep your man from getting lonely while you're gone. Thantasy: [Jayne] No, that's all right! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiling at Irving) You're attractive, but not gonna happen here, Irving. Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick has Edgar to keep him company. Thantasy: [Irving] Edgar? Thantasy: [Irving] I thought you said.... Thantasy: [Irving] Maybe I would like Edgar, too. Thantasy: [Mavis] I don't think so... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, he's quite dark.... Thantasy: [Mavis] See, well, Edgar's black! Thantasy: [Irving] Girl, you know I'm not prejudiced! Thantasy: [Irving] You know what I say -- Thantasy: [Irving] If it's male ... Thantasy: [Irving] and has two legs.... Thantasy: [Irving] and no feathers.... Thantasy: [Irving] it's all right with me. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Now, we're not sure Edgar will like you, but we should at least introduce them.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Well that would not be true of Edgar... Thantasy: [Irving] Oh, well, I have been with amputees..... Thantasy: [Mavis] <Tugging Irving again.> Come on, we need you. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Oh, he's not missing anything. Has something extra, in fact. Thantasy: [Irving] Uh, I have something extra, too.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grinning) No doubt about it, Irving, but the girls really need your help, so.... Thantasy: [Mavis] We can take your car. It won't be recognized. Thantasy: [Irving] Oops!!!!! <Pulled out of door by Mavis and Jayne.> Thantasy: <About an hour and a half later, the women return, sans Irving, chattering to each other.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Now watching "Plan 9 From Outer Space.") Cardaniel80: (TV Guide describes it as "Arguably the worst movie ever made.") Thantasy: [Jayne] That grandfather clock should be just perfect.... Thantasy: [Mavis] And, from outside, the curtains look like they should cover the windows when they are drawn... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Stands as they enter.) If I said "Jayne, you got a lotta 'splainin to do," would it help? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Stops, kisses Rick.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Also kisses Rick> Thantasy: [Jayne] Uh, Rick, Irving just dropped us off. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Kisses both) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, we called Lon's house to make sure he wasn't home.... Thantasy: [Jayne] and then we did some window peeping... Thantasy: [Jayne] we wanted to look as conspicuous as possible.... Thantasy: [Jayne] so that nobody would remember us. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey! That's all you need, get thrown in jail for a week! Cardaniel80: [Rick] If you were stopped you planned to fart on them and run? Thantasy: [Mavis] Oh, we had a cover story planned... Thantasy: [Mavis] In case we were stopped, but, face it.... Thantasy: [Mavis] Looking like this?...Would anybody think we were up to anything suspicious? Thantasy: [Mavis] But, boy, for someone who hasn't watched many horror movies, his house looks straight off the Universal back lot! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Is that good or bad? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, it will lend atmosphere. Anyway, Irving went to McDonald's. He'll be back for the wigs in a few minutes. I told we'd leave the door open. Thantasy: [Mavis] Yeah, Irving comes on strong, but he's really harmless, just a flirt. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I expect you to protect me if he jumps on me. Thantasy: [Jayne] Don't worry, I'll handle the big bad queen if he gets out of line! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Now if it was really Britney.... nope, I didn't say anything, never mind. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Turns to Mavis as they start to head for bedroom.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, that worked in practice this morning, but will it work under field conditions? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Thinking.> Well, maybe we can arrange a sort of field test.... <They disappear into bedroom.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Calls out) If you're talking about farting, I hope you've got Plan C. Thantasy: [Jayne] <After a few minutes, Jayne comes out of the bedroom. The wig is gone and her breasts back to their perky, normal outstanding selves> Thantasy: [Jayne] <She approaches Rick.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, I have something serious to ask you. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Stops smiling, knowing this isn't really a game.) Yes? Thantasy: [Jayne] Do you think you could fuck a dead girl? I mean, if that girl were me? Thantasy: [Jayne] If you had to. Thantasy: [Jayne] If my life depended on it? Cardaniel80: [Rick] I... (thinking) You know.... I really do think I'd want you one more time. But, see, I'm confused.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Could you, huh? Please? Cardaniel80: [Rick] If your life depends on it... you must not be dead. Thantasy: [Jayne] Come on, you'd be up to it! I know you would! Thantasy: [Jayne] Please say yes! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey... I will do anything for you. Anything. No exception, no quibbles. I don't get the whole picture here though. Would you really be dead or not? Thantasy: [Jayne] I'll take that as a yes! Cardaniel80: [Rick] It's a yes, sweety. Thantasy: [Jayne] <Yells> Mavis.... Thantasy: <Door opens, enter Irving.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick says he could fuck me if I were dead! Thantasy: [Irving] <Jaw drops!!!!!!> Uh...... Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, hi, Irving. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hi Irving, thought you were gone. Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis, Irving's here! Bring out the wigs! Thantasy: [Irving] Uh....... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Everything okay, Irving? Thantasy: [Mavis] <Coming out with wigs in boxes. Hands them to Irving.> Here, Irving. Thanks! Thantasy: [Irving] Uh....... Thantasy: [Jayne] <Smiling> See, Irving.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (To Jayne) Cat's got his tongue, honey. Let's get Edgar out here. Thantasy: [Jayne] There's been some talk of Mavis and Rick killing me this week.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, that should leave them free for the weekend.... Thantasy: [Jayne] And there would be an opening.... Thantasy: [Jayne] If you would like to come back! Thantasy: [Irving] <Taking wigs.> Uh, yeah, I'll.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] You're like a friend of the family already, Irving. Thantasy: [Irving] think about it... Thantasy: [Irving] seriously... Thantasy: [Irving] <Out the door in a flash!> Cardaniel80: [Rick] I think we grossed him out, sweety. Thantasy: [Jayne] Was it something I said? Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, some people must take offense easily. Thantasy: [Mavis] Say, we have to make up a list! Thantasy: [Jayne] Right! Thantasy: [Jayne] I've got pencil and paper in the kitchen. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Is Irving off the list, or is this some other list? Thantasy: [Jayne] <The two women go into kitchen, re-emerge in a few minutes with a list of items.> Thantasy: [Jayne] Rick, would you be a darling and go to the hardware store and pick up these items? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Sure. Do I need to wear a wig? Thantasy: [Mavis] Jayne and I would go, but..... Thantasy: [Mavis] if two women went shopping in a hardware store.... well, people might think we were lesbians! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Can't have that. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, imagine that! Thantasy: [Jayne] Thanks, you're a darling!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Kisses Rick warmly.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Hasn't looked at the list yet.) Will this clarify everything for me, do you think? Thantasy: [Jayne] (Puts one arm around Rick and pulls him closer for a longer kiss.) Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, Mavis and I will cue you in on everything when you get back..... Thantasy: [Jayne] We'll figure out just what EVERYTHING is, while you're gone. Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grins) Something to look forward to. Thantasy: [Jayne] Oh, and we can do that in the kitchen! Thantasy: [Jayne] We need to whip up some snacks! Thantasy: [Jayne] And talk about how we're going to..... Cardaniel80: [Rick] All right (Grins again) Any good movies on? Thantasy: [Mavis] I'm sure there, but probably nothing as good as what we've got planned. Thantasy: [Jayne] <The two women disappear into the kitchen, plotting....> Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Calls out) Back in a flash, darling! (Exits, closing door.) End of Scene iii
Setting: Rick and Jayne's dining room, following dinner that evening.
Thantasy: <Rick developed some idea of what the women have planned from the items they asked him to pick up. Over dinner, Jayne and Mavis explained their plan in detail.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Brings the coffee pot and sits it on the table, > Thantasy: [Jayne] <so she doesn't have to get up again.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Great dinner, sweetheart. Thantasy: [Jayne] Thanks dear. Just one of many to come, I hope! Thantasy: [Mavis] Well, I think we have everything as well in hand as we can get it. Cardaniel80: [Rick] We still have five days to work out any bugs. Thantasy: [Jayne] You know, this isn't a perfect plan, but I think it's as close as we can get. Thantasy: [Mavis] Well <somewhat sadly> I really hope it works! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes Mavis's hand) It will, hon. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I wonder if we should rehearse it, like the candidates practice for the debates? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, yes! I think at least we can practice our lines and gestures!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Especially the gestures! I want to practice them a lot!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Gestures... like "Mandrake gestures mysteriously"? Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, blocking is SO important in theatre. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Keep trying out your flatulence technique, too, make sure that works. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, that's why I want you to come to the brothel Tuesday. Thantasy: [Jayne] So we can see if my being turned off has the same effect as me just relaxing. Thantasy: [Jayne] I promise we'll use something that smells better! Cardaniel80: [Rick] You've been through being turned off once, sweety. Can you remember what it was like, enough to know if you can do what you'd need to? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, that happened so suddenly, I didn't have time to realize what had happened. Thantasy: [Jayne] I couldn't analyze. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yeah, your mind was whirling, I'm sure. Not a good preparation. You need to practice it under controlled circumstances. Thantasy: [Jayne] We'll know better after Tuesday. Thantasy: [Jayne] That will be the only practice we get on that. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes. (Smiling.) Didn't think I was going to meet you in a bordello someday. Thantasy: [Jayne] Darling, every place I'm in is a potential bordello, if you're there with me. Thantasy: [Jayne] I've thought about keeping my date with Lon the first time, just the way he wants it, just for more practice. Thantasy: [Jayne] But I can't do that! Thantasy: [Jayne] I won't do that! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Touches her hand.> You don't need to! Thantasy: [Jayne] Nope, if this doesn't work, well, that's life! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Takes her hand) I know, sweety. I don't want him to have you either. Thantasy: [Jayne] The thing is, he wasn't always like this. Cardaniel80: [Rick] He must not have been. I can't see you with somebody like that. Thantasy: [Jayne] He was always a little dark...but I used to like that. Thantasy: [Jayne] This idea of his, this switch-off thing, it really is kinda sexy! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, from what you said he's got women coming to him who want him to do this. Cardaniel80: [Rick] I guess we must be going to meet some of those. Thantasy: [Jayne] If he would have just, say, put it in me as a sort of present.... Thantasy: [Jayne] Something I could bring home and share with you and Mavis...... Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, that would have actually been a darn nice thing! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes. (Smiles) Thantasy: [Jayne] So, nice that, well, I would have been grateful. Thantasy: [Jayne] I'm not saying I would have jumped right in the sack with him.... Cardaniel80: [Rick] Listen, I hadn't thought... the girls at the bordello -- what happens to them, after? Thantasy: [Jayne] but if this really worked as well as it's supposed to... Hmmm, what do you mean, after? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Well, if Lon's gone, or out of the picture somehow.... does the bordello go on? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, I'm not worried about that, but I suppose it would.... Thantasy: [Jayne] He says there are two other doctors involved.... Thantasy: [Jayne] and an electrical engineer. Thantasy: [Mavis] Two other doctors? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes, that's true. Wonder whether they're as active in it as he is? Wonder if they know what he did with you? Thantasy: [Mavis] Do you think one of them could help you? Thantasy: [Jayne] I can't imagine that they would go along with this. Cardaniel80: [Rick] No, I'd hope not. Thantasy: [Jayne] Lon says I'm the first non-volunteer. Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes, I think the idea all along must have been all volunteers. Thantasy: [Jayne] Apparently neither of the other two have his lust for power... Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, and that's what it's all about! Power! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Grinning) He'll find out power can be more elusive than he thought. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, he is a doctor. Thantasy: [Jayne] There's a joke. Thantasy: [Jayne] A doctor dies. Thantasy: [Jayne] Goes to the entrance to heaven. Thantasy: [Jayne] There's a big line. Thantasy: [Jayne] The doctor tries to crowd in front. Thantasy: [Jayne] Says, "I'm a doctor!" Thantasy: [Jayne] St. Peter says, "That doesn't matter. Get in line." Thantasy: [Jayne] The doctor does as he's told. Thantasy: [Jayne] Pretty soon, a fellow dressed in white with a stethoscope around his neck... Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiling) Thantasy: [Jayne] comes to heaven's gate and walks right in. Thantasy: [Jayne] The doctor waiting in line gets furious! Thantasy: [Jayne] Says to St. Peter. "You let that doctor walk right in! Thantasy: [Jayne] "Why not me?" Thantasy: [Jayne] St Peter says, "That wasn't a doctor. That was God." Thantasy: [Jayne] "He likes to go down and play doctor. It gives him a feeling of power." Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Haha!! (Pounds table) Thantasy: [Jayne] I don't like to think that all doctors are that power-driven. I'm sure they aren't in fact. Cardaniel80: [Rick] No, sure, you know lots of doctors. Good people. Mostly. Thantasy: [Jayne] But maybe being a doctor has gone to Lon's head. The way he said, when I thanked him, somewhat sarcastically, for saving my life -- "What he giveth, he can take away!" Thantasy: [Jayne] Shit! He does think he's God! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Look, somewhere along the way here, can I just punch him out? Thantasy: [Mavis] You BET! Right after me! Ladies first! But I'm sure he wasn't always like that. Like Rick said... Thantasy: [Mavis] if he were, you wouldn't have gone with him. Thantasy: [Jayne] That's true. You want to know why I didn't ever really get too serious about marrying him? Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes. Why? Cardaniel80: [Rick] Why's that, honey? I know you could have followed him to med school and didn't. Thantasy: [Mavis] Was it the necro thing? Thantasy: [Jayne] No. Thantasy: [Jayne] You both know I like the necro thing! And, yes, I couldn't go to med school with him Thantasy: [Jayne] but then he didn't ask me, either. Cardaniel80: [Rick] So why did you never think about marrying him? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, the real reason..... Thantasy: [Jayne] Mavis, remember how in junior high they called me "Brainy Jaynie"? Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Smiles) Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes. Everyone thought you were so smart. Cardaniel80: [Rick] He just treated you like a dumb girl, right? Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, if I would have married him... Thantasy: [Jayne] I'd have been Jaynie Haney!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs> Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs> Cardaniel80: [Rick] Hahaha! Good reason, okay. Thantasy: [Jayne] Talk about a fate worse than death!!!!!! Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs especially hard.> Cardaniel80: [Rick] You could have changed your name to, ahhhh..... Elaine. you'd be Lainie Haney. Thantasy: [Mavis] I think that poor Tommy Davis still doesn't understand why I wouldn't go out with him! Thantasy: [Mavis] It wasn't because of my, uh, tendencies. Thantasy: [Mavis] I didn't want to be Mavis Davis. Cardaniel80: [Rick] You two could really have been a pair, you know? Thantasy: [Jayne] Yes, Mavis Davis and Jaynie Haney! Thantasy: [Jayne] We would have to be each other's lovers! Thantasy: [Jayne] No one else would been seen with us! Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs> Cardaniel80: [Rick] They couldn't spread rumors about you, though. They'd start "Have you heard....?" and as soon as they got to your names they'd start laughing and couldn't go on. Thantasy: [Mavis] <Laughs.> Thantasy: [Jayne] <Laughs again.> Good point! Oh, God, I feel good! Thantasy: [Jayne] You know, if this doesn't work..... Thantasy: [Jayne] And I wind up dead..... Thantasy: [Jayne] I won't feel so bad.....because... Thantasy: [Jayne] first of all, I know that I've set the two people I love most up with really good prospects... Thantasy: [Jayne] for a future relationship! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Honey, if you die.... I'll always look back at this week and remember the closeness, and the love, and I'll smile at the memory. Thantasy: [Jayne] I mean, you know, I hope, that I would never leave you two, if I thought I would be leaving you a life of loneliness... Thantasy: [Jayne] I'd go through, well, what Lon had planned for a long, long time if that were the case.... Thantasy: [Jayne] But I don't have to worry about you two! Thantasy: [Jayne] And, well, if this doesn't work.... Thantasy: [Jayne] I am going to have had more fun dying than a lot of people have living!!!!! Thantasy: [Jayne] Now, that's an accomplishment! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Moves closer to Jayne) I love you so much right now.... and that can't die no matter what. No matter what. Thantasy: [Jayne] I know! Thantasy: [Jayne] Love endures! Thantasy: [Jayne] It lasts forever! Cardaniel80: [Rick] Yes... the best love does, and we have the best. Thantasy: [Jayne] Well, what do you say we all go to bed..... Thantasy: [Jayne] and rehearse some of those gestures for Thursday night. Cardaniel80: [Rick] In near proximity to each other, you think? Thantasy: [Mavis] Yes, we have to get our blocking down. Thantasy: [Mavis] We do have, of course, some very high standards to live up to!!!! Cardaniel80: [Rick] What, Lucy and Ethel? Thantasy: [Mavis] I've got a feeling that somewhere Boris and Bela and Vincent and Peter..... Thantasy: [Mavis] and even the other Lons, jr and sr.... Thantasy: [Mavis] and Lucy and Ethel too. Thantasy: [Mavis] will be giving us reviews. Thantasy: [Jayne] Yup! Cardaniel80: [Rick] (Nods) Good ones, I think. Thantasy: [Jayne] Let's go work on that blocking! Gestures!!!! Thantasy: <All get up and head for the bedroom...> Thantasy: <arms around each other...> Thantasy: <kissing as they go.> Cardaniel80: (Shedding clothes on the way.)
END OF ACT VI |