Beyond the edge of her platform, Cammy could see Alisa looking up at her from below. Alisa was wide-eyed, looking excited for some reason. She puzzled Cammy by raising her hand in an odd gesture: her hand bent at the wrist and held horizontal, fingers together and extended straight, thumb tucked underneath. Then she raised her fingers together, like a rising drawbridge, separating them from her thumb which she held unmoving in its horizontal position. She repeated the same gesture, and then pointed to the platform to Cammy's immediate left, the one on which Kat stood.

Cammy stared at Alisa with a frown. Alisa repeated the gesture one more time, and pointed again.

From the main stage to Cammy's right, Susan interrupted Cammy's thoughts, shouting happily into her microphone, "The technicians tell me everything is ready. Control of the ropes has now been switched over to the hand cranks, so partners of the participants, it's all in your hands now! There's only one more thing to I need to know from all of you watching out there: ARE... YOU... READY... TO... SEE... A... HANGING??"

The crowd let out its loudest cheer so far. A few YESes could be heard, but they were far from unison.

"I'll take that as a yes! My assistants, Sheri and Becky, will spin for color and number." Two attractive women, fetchingly dressed in miniskirts and tight tank tops, waved from beside the two spinners. "Partners, when you hear your color, wait for the number and then turn your crank that many full circles. Each turn of the crank will raise the rope one inch!"

The shafts overhead reeling in the ropes now really were controlled by the cranks below, though the control was electronic rather than mechanical. Having the partners operate the cranks allowed them the honor of participating in their loved one's snuff.

Cammy's mind was spinning. She knew Alisa had to be telling her something important, something she didn't want anyone else to know. But Cammy couldn't fathom what it might be.

We've each always known what the other was thinking! she reminded herself. What is she thinking now?

Susan now swept her arm towards her assistants. "Take it away, Sheri and Becky!"

If I'm Alisa, thought Cammy, what do I want to tell Cammy right now? What would be really important? I've already finished the equalization, so there's nothing I can do...

That was it! Alisa's hand gesture was like a heel coming up off the floor! Her thumb was the floor. And she'd pointed at Kat! Alisa is telling me Kat went up on her toes! Kat gave away two, maybe three inches! There's nothing I can do about it -- I've got no control anymore over my life or death, now that the equalization is over. But Alisa wants me to be less scared. If I only have twenty or thirty minutes left to live, she doesn't want me to spend it afraid. And I do feel less scared. Telling me that at least one of the other girls is at a disadvantage really does help.

And Alisa didn't want the others to know what had happened. Especially the people in charge. It was possible that if they knew Kat had messed up, they might do the equalizing all over again. They might not -- different Hanging Roulette contests had different rules for that situation. Susan had never said. Alisa, Cammy told herself, doesn't want me to lose the advantage I have, the handicap Kat is facing, by telling everybody. She only wanted me to know.

To acknowledge Alisa, Cammy didn't have to catch Alisa's eyes. They were already locked on hers. Cammy tilted her head briefly towards Kat, and nodded to Alisa. Alisa nodded back and gave her a thumbs-up gesture.

It's weird, thought Cammy, that it's Kat who'd made the mistake. The other two might have considered doing it intentionally, and in fact maybe they did, but Kat is the only one other than me who's hoping not to die today! And she's the only one with previous experience! She should know better. But maybe she screwed up the same way before and just lucked out.

Behind her, Cammy heard the sound of the spinners. A moment later Susan called out, "Yellow! Three!"

Cammy let out her breath in a rush. Shit!

Below her, Alisa gritted her teeth. Having agreed to be Cammy's partner in an authorized snuff, she couldn't now refuse to participate to save Cammy, as if she regarded Cammy's life as more important than her meat, any more than Cammy could have refused to be standing here. Alisa grasped the handle of the crank and gave it three full clockwise turns. Cammy felt, again, the vibration of the mechanism reeling in the rope. Exactly three inches.

Cammy closed her eyes. That advantage I had is gone already! she moaned to herself.

She opened her eyes again. If I'm about to die, she told herself, I want to see Alisa for as much time as I can. Toward that end, she decided not to watch the other women at all. She didn't have an unobstructed view of Karen and Beth anyway. And she could keep track of Kat's situation by counting.

Okay, Cammy told herself, I've lost three inches. I can only lose nine more before I get pulled up off my heels. Then three more and I'll be up on tiptoes. That's fifteen altogether. I think I'm dead if I get to sixteen.

Cammy felt tentative relief when Susan called out "Red!", but it mostly evaporated when she followed it with "One!" Out of the corner of her eye, Cammy could see Karen's sister Darla turn the crank. Once. Big deal.

"Blue! Two!"

Okay! thought Cammy. Cammy guessed the number of inches Kat had given away during the equalizing was most likely three. So she was at five now.

By the time Kat was at eight inches -- three given away and five during the contest proper, Cammy was already at ten. Cammy hadn't been keeping track of Karen and Beth -- there were only so many numbers she could juggle in her head at once, under this amount of stress, while also maintaining her "It's not my time to be food" chant. She continued staring steadily at Alisa, who was breathing hard, her jaw set.

The sound of the crowd was steadily growing. Even microphone-assisted, Susan was having to shout louder as she called out the colors and numbers: "Brown! Two!" came next, followed by "Blue! Three!" So Kat was up to eleven now.

Then on the next spin: "Yellow! Two!"

Cammy's heart pounded. I'm at 12, she thought, I'm at 12, I'm at 12, shit, shit, shit! She started feeling a little faint, and concentrated on steadying her breathing. Below her, Alisa stared at her, her mouth open and her head shaking, as she turned the crank twice more in a circle.

Cammy could feel the now-taut rope pulling at her throat. All slack was gone. She could still stand flatfooted, but it was hard to breathe that way. She found she needed to rise up on her toes periodically to be able to breathe freely.

Judging from the sudden boost in noise level from the crowd, Cammy was the first to reach this point. At least she assumed she would have already heard such a spike if any of the other women had got this close to being hanged.

"Red! Two!" was followed by "Blue! Three!"

Yes! thought Cammy. Kat is at fourteen! She has to be up on her toes now. She shouldn't be, but it's her own fault.

The again-increased shouting from the crowd confirmed that Kat was in trouble.

"Yellow! Four!"

No no no no no no, thought Cammy, her stomach clenching. She watched helplessly as Alisa, shaking her head violently and almost hyperventilating, dutifully turned the crank four times. It's not my time it's not my time it's not my time...

Okay, Cammy thought when the rope stopped pulling her any higher, maybe fifteen inches wasn't my maximum after all. I can still touch the floor. I'm still okay.

But she realized within seconds that she might be wrong about that. On tiptoes now, the balls of her feet barely in contact with the floor of the platform, her ankles and calf muscles already aching with the strain of keeping her feet extended downward, Cammy found she couldn't keep her balance for any length of time. When she was perfectly vertical, the grip of the rope around her throat eased just enough that she could breathe, but she couldn't stay that way for more than a few seconds at a time, and she would start to fall over like a pencil stood on its point. The direction in which she fell would be random -- she might tip over to the right, quickly shuffle her toes in that direction to get them back underneath her to support her again, only to fall forward immediately, and each time she leaned in any direction her breath was cut off. Then she would shuffle her toes once more, and manage to take in a few gasps again.

She was helplessly turning as well, which seemed very unfair to her, because she wasn't sure how long she would be able to keep Alisa in sight. If this was the end, she desperately wanted Alisa to be the last thing she saw.

Over the roars from the crowd, Cammy could barely hear Susan shouting, "Cammy, you still with us?"

Cammy realized that her movements were so limited that no one could quite tell whether they were intentional or just random swaying of a lifeless body. She knew she had to signal, in some way, that she was still conscious and that the contest couldn't end yet, but she was unable to croak out any sound that could be heard over the constant commotion of the crowd. She nearly made a thumbs-up gesture with her right hand, before she realized it might be taken as a "take me up" request. Instead she made a circle with her thumb and forefinger, as an "Okay" sign, and wriggled her hand to call attention to it to make sure it was seen. She couldn't hold it long, because her struggle to breathe regained her full attention.

Besides gravity and the rope, Cammy also fought with her female instincts. Maybe it is my time to be food, the voice of her womanhood said within her. This is what you were born to do, Cammy. It's the most important thing you can do: offer the flesh of your body to sustain others. No one but a woman can do this for her people. Stop fighting against your own birthright! This is your highest calling! Relax, stop fighting it, and be the woman you were born to be. It can all be over in less than a minute, and you'll be inside Alisa for all of her life!

No! she shouted back within herself. I am a woman, and I'm food for all, but not yet! It isn't my time yet!

Cammy grabbed a tight mental hold on the one fact that helped swing the battle in the fight-to-stay-alive direction: that Kat, who should still be standing flatfooted, was not; that Kat was just three inches, a single spin, from losing.

Cammy struggled on, breathing when she could, fighting to reestablish an upright posture when she couldn't.

She had rotated a quarter turn by now, clockwise, and could barely make out Alisa from the corner of her eye. Susan, on the main stage, was directly in front of her field of vision now, looking out at the crowd while gesturing to Sheri and Becky to spin again, shouting "Do it again, ladies!" into the microphone.

Cammy, for the first time, could see the spinners. Sheri had given hers an extra-vigorous push, and it was still spinning when Becky's stopped on 3.

The color-spinner settled at last. Susan leaned forward. "Is that... I can't tell if it's yellow or blue. Call it for me, Sheri."

The girl leaned in to look closely at the pointer, which had stopped almost exactly on the borderline. "It's... blue!"

Over the roar of the crowd, Cammy heard a delighted whoop from Hayley, who would at last be able to eat her wife's meat.

Cammy's heart was singing. See?? she thought, I told you it wasn't my time!

Yet still she struggled, as Susan kept looking past her at Kat, not raising her microphone. Apparently Susan wanted the crowd to get full closure, everyone watching Kat until she stopped kicking.

After a time that seemed an eternity to Cammy, she began to wonder whether Kat, somehow, had been able to keep going the way she herself was, despite being five inches past the end of her slack, an inch more than Cammy. Cammy was starting to feel faint, heard a buzzing that was internal rather than from the crowd, and there was a pinkness starting to come into her vision. She was sure she couldn't hold out through another round of the spinners, especially as Susan didn't appear to be about to set a new round in motion.

Then Susan, at last, lifted up her microphone and shouted, "And there we have it! Congratulations, Hayley, and I'm sure you'll have all of us here over to dinner!" The crowd laughed, and Susan went on, "Partners of the surviving contestants..." apparently not recalling all of their names, "Turn your cranks in whichever direction you want. And everybody turn your radio dials to my drive-time show tonight at 5 on Raider Radio!"

Cammy was able to see, off to her left, Alisa frantically spinning her crank counterclockwise, and found she was settling to the floor. She tried to stand, but was too weak to make her legs work. Her knees bending, she sagged as the rope, still choking her, let her down.

Alisa raised one foot up onto the shaft of the crank, used it as a step to vault herself onto the platform in a single leap, rushed to Cammy and wrapped her arms tightly around her, holding her up so she could breathe. Alisa was both crying and laughing with relief, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Once it was clear Cammy getting air into her lungs, Alisa loosened the noose and pulled it up and over Cammy's head.

Cammy, still breathing in heaves, barely able to keep her eyes open in exhaustion, grinned at Alisa and tried to speak. She found she couldn't make a sound. She put her mouth against Alisa's ear and started whispering. "I just want..."

Alisa, wiping away tears on her other cheek, shook her head. "Shhh, don't talk. We can do that later."

Cammy whispered more insistently. "No, just one thing, then I'll stop. I made it because I want to spend a lifetime with you, but it took more than that. If you hadn't told me about Kat going up on her heels, I wouldn't be alive now. The only thing that kept me going was knowing how close Kat was to being done." She looked behind her at Kat's platform, where Kat now hung limp above the floor, and Hayley, one hand lovingly stroking her late wife's hip, stood talking with someone from the event staff, probably about arrangements for butchering.

Beyond Kat, Karen's platform was now vacant, Karen having apparently departed already with her sister. At the most distant platform, Beth was kicking, suspended several inches off the floor. Her husband, after Susan had called the contest over, had obviously turned his crank clockwise, hoisting her instead of bringing her down, probably by prearrangement -- there had been a box to check on the acceptance-of-risk form to request being hanged regardless of contest outcome. Beth had apparently wanted to use this event for her snuff, as she had hinted in her interview with Susan. Karen, on the other hand, might be going to alternate volunteering for Hanging Roulette contests with her sister, for the same reason Kat and Hayley had been doing it.

Alisa grinned, wiped away more tears and, seeing that Cammy was breathing more steadily, kissed her, a long deep kiss. "Okay, no more talking now. And I just want you to know, after you heard your number, when you waved your arm and said it was you, I was like one second away from raising my own arm to volunteer. I just couldn't bear thinking about living without you." Her lip quivered and the tears started again. "But when you told me it wasn't your time to be food, and we'd make a family, I just... somehow I knew you'd get through. Now let's get you out of here. I'm sure your throat hurts, but we've got to get something into you. Do you think you could eat some ice cream? The cold will help slow down any swelling, and the sugar should give you some energy. And a soft drink, with caffeine in it. Can you handle that? Just nod."

Cammy nodded. Together, with Cammy leaning heavily on Alisa, Alisa's arms still around her, they headed to the steps down from the platform, to get the key to Cammy's handcuffs and retrieve their clothes.

Hand in hand, having dressed and shared an ice cream cone, they left the fair venue. It was about four o'clock. Walking in the direction of Cammy's dorm, Alisa suddenly stopped. She looked at Cammy, biting her lip. "How's your energy level?" She immediately waved off her own question. "I'm sorry, you still shouldn't be talking. Rest your throat till tomorrow."

Cammy whispered, "It hurts to make a sound, but this doesn't." She gave Alisa a broad smile. "So... what were you thinking?"

Alisa's smile looked a little shy. "Before your number got called, we were about to... I mean, we still haven't yet." She laughed. "It's so strange. I know we haven't even really known each other twenty-four hours yet. But in another way, you've always been part of my life, even before I met you, before I knew you existed. Before I knew anyone like you existed."

Cammy looked at her wide-eyed, and nodded vigorously. Alisa had given words to the exact feeling that had filled Cammy with such wonder all day.

Alisa went on, "And yet... with all that, we haven't made love yet."

Cammy bit her lip, and whispered, "I think Taylor is probably back in my room by now. Yours? Renee?"

Alisa's face fell. "Yeah, that's a problem, then. Would Taylor understand if we asked her to leave?"

Cammy's eyes lit up. She pointed. "We need privacy, but we don't need a room. Trees over there. Crowded. Can't see very far in." Cammy was starting to ration words. Even whispering was beginning to tire her throat.

Alisa began breathing harder, sensing how near she was to what she felt such a desperate need for. Together they left the paved path and ran over to the trees.

By the time they were fifty feet into the stand of trees, they could no longer see out of it in any direction. Cammy felt a tug on her hand as Alisa stopped running. She turned to face Alisa, once more feeling the tingling and the dampness between her legs, quickly intensifying. Her heart pounding, her breath quickening, she knew there was no longer anything they needed to wait for.

Alisa said softly, "I can tell even the whispering takes some effort for you. No more talking. We don't need it."

Cammy reached for the top button of her blouse, but Alisa's hand stopped her. Cammy felt puzzled only for a moment, until Alisa took over. Cammy understood immediately: they had already undressed for each other once, each in charge of her own clothes, so this time they should do it differently.

Alisa took her time, pausing in undressing Cammy to let Cammy lift up the hem of her t-shirt, raising her arms to let Cammy remove it, and waiting again while Cammy unbuttoned, unzipped and pulled her jeans down and off, all of it done very slowly, as if part of a long-established ritual.

The ground was soft, covered in moss and crackling leaves. They made love for a long time.

Cammy awoke, pressed up against Alisa, their arms and legs entangled. She'd been awakened by Alisa stroking her hair.

A little groggy, she whispered. "How long you been awake?" She could whisper a little more comfortably, but still not make a sound with her voice.

Alisa smiled. "A few minutes. Let's plan some things."

Cammy smiled, understanding. "Let's get married Saturday. We don't need to plan a big party way ahead with a lot of people. Just our dads, your sister and her wife." Alisa had an older sister, Anna. "Anybody else who should come?"

Alisa beamed at her. "No, that's it for my side. I wish it could be sooner, but they need a little warning. And that gives us time to talk to the Housing office. If they have any vacancies in married student housing, maybe we could have a place right after the wedding party."

Cammy nodded. "We can do something else sooner, though. You got anything after third period Monday?"

Alisa shook her head, looking as if a smile was about to burst into being. Cammy started to go on, but Alisa spoke first. "You mean we go see Dr. Colton?"

Cammy barely had time to grin and nod before Alisa kissed her. They made love again. Oral this time. They wanted to try all the possibilities as soon they could.