THE NEXT DAY

Megan bit her lip as she stood uncomfortably with her lunch tray. "Are you sure it's okay? They're your friends. I'll be in the way."

Amy sighed and rubbed her elbow against Megan's, keeping her grip on her own tray. "Yeah, they're my friends, so they'd better get used to seeing you with me." She gestured come-on with her head, and Megan followed her to Linda's and Laney's table, smiling nervously.

Amy had seen both her friends watching her wide-eyed from the moment she'd entered the caf with Megan. She set her tray on the table when she reached it and cleared her throat. "You guys haven't really had a chance to meet my roommate. I know you know who she is, but anyway, this is Megan." Amy reached behind Megan and stroked the small of her back as a gesture of intimacy. "Megan, this is Linda," she gestured with her free hand at Linda, who gulped and nodded. "And this is Laney." Laney looked at Linda and responded with, "Uhhh, hi."

Amy pulled out a chair opposite Linda and sighed. She'd hoped she'd be able to sit on something today, but decided she was still at least a day away from that. She put her knees on the chair and sat back on her calf muscles, wincing as her heels brushed her butt. Megan took a similar posture on the one remaining chair.

Megan began hesitantly, looking back and forth between Linda and Laney, "Amy talks about you guys all the..."

Linda cut her off. "Don't ever hurt her." Her eyes were fixed on Megan's in an unblinking glare. "I mean it!"

Amy could see the tension in Megan, well-hidden but visible to Amy, go off the scale. Megan's left hand, out of sight in her lap, clenched into a tight fist. Amy reached over quickly and covered Megan's hand with her own, gently massaging it until it relaxed enough for Amy to entwine her fingers with Megan's. Amy's own heart was pounding as she began, "Linda, there's been a lot going on..."

Megan shook her head slightly. "Amy, it's okay. Let me." Megan looked back at Linda, seeming to search for words, finding them at last. "Both of you are really important to Amy. So you're important to me too. I want us to be... friends." Megan blinked at her own words, as if she'd somehow persuaded herself to say something impossibly intimate. She gave Amy's hand a squeeze. "I've... been learning a lot. I just want you to give me a chance." She looked back and forth again. "Please?"

Linda opened her mouth to reply, and closed it again, seeming to be fascinated with the look on Megan's face. She looked at Laney, who looked equally mesmerized. Laney turned to look at her roommate at last, and gave her a slight facial shrug. Turning back to Megan, with an obvious attempt to find some neutral ground for a conversation, Laney said tentatively, "I've seen you from across the gym in your hanging class sometimes. Where did you learn to do that stuff?"

Amy could see the tension in Megan start to swirl away as though a bathtub plug had been pulled. Hanging was something she could talk about. "I had a coach, but those moves I pretty much taught myself."

Linda blinked. "A coach? For how long?"

"I started practicing hanging when I was twelve."

Laney seemed to be getting hooked, forgetting the drama of minutes before. "Does an outside coach... I mean, is it like learning here?"

Megan shook her head. "Not quite at the same level. You don't really get the kind of training anywhere else like they have here, and you can't find a lot of the books. I've been learning a lot."

Megan suddenly realized Tanya, a classmate, was standing just at the edge of her vision, biting her lip nervously. Her roommate Liz was beside her, giving her an encouraging nudge. Tanya cleared her throat. "Megan, I was hoping you could... help me?"

Amy winced as Megan squeezed her hand convulsively. Megan responded cautiously, "Ummm... how?"

Tanya sighed and gave an I-feel-helpless gesture with her arms. "I guess you know I haven't really been keeping up with the hanging class. Most of the girls are doing three minutes at least in class now, and I've never even done two. My hanging grades are just killing my average and... well, of course, that's what we're all here for, anyway, and it's like I'm just not getting it! I'm in the bottom five, and our first party is coming up soon, and I'm... well, scared."

Megan nodded. "I've seen you a few times. You know you don't turn your head enough, right? You've got to free up the carotids on nearly every turn, at least for an instant. In time with your heartbeat, of course."

Tanya sighed forlornly. "The teachers have said that a couple of times. I try to keep that in mind along with everything else, but somehow I'm just not doing it. There's just so much going on when I'm hanging, and I just get... confused."

Megan bit her lip in thought, absorbed in the problem. Her eyes flew open wide suddenly, and she turned to Linda. "Can we get charcoal dust here? Soot, anything like that?"

Linda blinked in astonishment. "Huh? I don't know. I guess the student store could order some. What does...?" She shook her head, mystified.

Megan turned quickly back to Tanya. "You need something visible to give you a goal to shoot for. When you've got some charcoal dust, coat the inside of the noose in your room with it. All the way around, just kind of brush it on. Then do a practice hanging. Don't do anything different while you're hanging, just do it like you normally do." Megan stood up in front of Tanya. "You'll get a black ring around your neck. It's going to be darkest and widest in the parts of your neck that have been bearing your weight and rubbing hardest against the rope..." Megan reached up and around Tanya and touched the back of her neck with her fingers, letting them trace partway around towards the front, "...that'd be the back, and around to the sides, stopping below your ears. The dark part is probably going to stop about here." She held her fingers on either side of Tanya's neck, just behind the carotids. "See, that's not far enough. You're not getting the blood flow. You've got to work on getting the black smudge to cover up to about here..." Megan brought her fingers a couple of inches farther forward. "You'll be able to tell at the end of each practice if you're making progress, because it's something you can see. Once you get there, you're going to feel the difference, and it'll start to feel natural. Your body will learn to tell you when you're falling short. Okay?"

Tanya's eyes had grown progressively wider as Megan spoke. Now she clapped her hands once and threw her arms around Megan, hugging her tightly. "I know that'll work. Thank you!" She whirled to face Liz, grabbing her hand. "Let's go to the student store!" They ran together out of the caf.

Megan stood frozen, not sure what to make of the departed Tanya's outburst of affectionate exuberance. She looked down at Amy, wide eyed. Amy grinned and reached up to rub Megan's arm. "You'll get used to it."

Megan gave Amy a short nod and knelt down on the chair again.

Amy turned to look at her friends, and burst out laughing. "I wish I had a camera! Just hold that look on your faces for a minute so I can remember it." She stopped laughing and sighed. "Okay, maybe we can start over now. Megan, these are my best friends, Linda and Laney. Linda, Laney, this is my roommate, Megan."

Amy's two friends exchanged a look, and Laney reached across the table to cover one of Megan's hands with her own. "Megan, you understand why we'd be concerned. Right?" She lifted one eyebrow, and waited for Megan's nod that came in a moment, then went on, "But for somebody that Amy looks at the way she's been looking at you today, I'm sure we can get to be friends."

Laney looked back at Linda, who reached across and took Megan's other hand. "Come over tonight, okay? We'll watch a movie or something."

Megan started to nod, and stopped. "Can Amy come too?"

Linda choked back a giggle and grinned. "Oh, we might let her in. But only if you promise she'll behave herself. She was really naughty the last time she was over." All four girls laughed.

Amy, with Megan beside her, was just pushing open the door to their shared room when Megan said, "Amy, wait a minute."

Amy could hear the tension returning to Megan's voice. "What's wrong?"

Megan shook her head. "Nothing's wrong, but I need to do something. I should do it myself, but I feel better when you're there."

Amy understood Megan intended to do another of those things she had newly incorporated into her goal-oriented personal program. I hope I was right, thought Amy, that those things will soon be more natural to Megan. I don't think, Amy told herself, that she needs me to give a boost to her strength and willpower. That seemed like a reasonable explanation, but Megan's got more than enough of those. And it doesn't seem as if she needs me to verify she's doing the right thing. She's not hesitating to do any of this stuff.

As fascinating as it was, the last day or so, to be in Megan's company, Amy was struggling to understand why Megan seemed to need her so much.

They hadn't been holding hands, or even walking particularly close together, but Megan took Amy's hand now in almost a death grip. I don't have a clue what's up, thought Amy, but it must be something big.

Amy had to walk quickly to avoid being yanked down the hallway, and stopped when Megan did in front of Jackie's and Erin's door. Megan closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, before giving the door a sharp rap with her free hand.

Erin opened the door, looking, as it happened, in Amy's direction to begin with, and smiled. "Hi, Amy. Jackie's gone to class..." She froze and blinked when she saw Megan was with her. "Oh, hi." She gave the remnants of her smile to Megan, uncertainly.

In a perfectly normal voice, Megan said, "Hi, Erin." Amy had to hold her breath -- Megan was almost crushing her hand. There, that's the reason I need to be along, thought Amy. Megan is phenomenal at hiding whatever tension she might be feeling -- more of that internal determination -- but she needs help draining the tension off. That's me, Amy told herself, I'm the drainpipe. Megan went on, "Is Shawna here?"

From behind Erin, Amy could hear Shawna gasp. The girl appeared behind Erin's shoulder in a moment, though Erin made no move to get out of the way. Shawna was biting her lip, a look of distaste bordering on fear on her face. "What do you want?"

Megan said quietly, "Shawna... I'm really sorry I kept... kind of getting on you all the time. I wasn't very fair to you, and... well, I'm sorry."

Shawna blinked several times, her eyes wide. "Oh, that's..." She stopped, seeming unready to give Megan total absolution quite yet.

Megan went on, "I should have told you, there's something you do better than any of the other girls when you're hanging. The way you arch your back and straighten your legs every few breaths, and point your feet straight down and wriggle your toes, like you're really desperate to try to reach something. All the girls do that, but they should be watching you to get a feeling for how to do it better. I started working that more into my own moves, so I kind of... owe you for that. Anyway, I could help you do some other moves better. If you want."

Shawna looked back and forth between Erin, who looked equally stunned, and Amy, who nodded encouragingly as if to tell her, Yes, this is for real.

Shawna looked back behind her, then back at Megan, and stammered, "Well, I really, right now I'm..."

Megan shook her head again. "Oh, I didn't mean right this minute. I have to get to class. Just whenever you feel like it. Let me know, okay? Or Amy."

Shawna opened her mouth to respond, closed it and simply nodded.

Megan smiled, one that looked nothing like the old, original Megan's. "Okay, see you later."

Megan held Amy's hand tightly all the way back to their room, until, in privacy, she was able to put her arms around Amy and rest her head on Amy's shoulder. Amy could feel Megan's heart pounding against her own chest as she wrapped her arms around Megan. "Megan, I'm getting a feeling that as long as I know you you'll never stop amazing me."

Megan, her voice full of relief, said, "That night, when you said I've been wrecking the other girls, tearing their confidence down... well, I know I did most of it to Shawna. I... that was one of the promises I made. To the heads. That I'd fix things with Shawna."

Amy felt sure the heads in the Hall of Honor had all gotten an earful that night after Amy had left. Amy stroked the back of Megan's head. "You're doing great."

Megan straightened up, smiling and brushing the tears off her cheeks. "Thank you."

It seemed very natural to kiss at that point.

Megan broke it off and looked at her watch. "Let's get to class."

Amy sighed in the darkened room, on her side on the rollaway bed, Laney sleeping behind her with her arm draped over Amy, one hand cupping Amy's breast. The evening had gone well. After laughing together at the movie, Amy had persuaded Megan to show Linda and Laney her latest hanging moves. Amy's friends had never had the chance before to watch Megan up close. Amy had stood back, smiling to herself, knowing how horny her friends were going to get.

Amy had expected to fall asleep quickly after making love with Laney, once Megan's and Linda's play had quieted above her. Somehow sleep didn't come.

Megan was in the bed above Amy, on her side facing the edge, Linda behind her, together making spoons. In the dim light from the window, Amy was surprised to see Megan's open eyes, looking down towards her.

At the moment Amy started to reach up to Megan, she could see Megan's hand coming down towards hers. Their hands met halfway, their fingers twining together.

Amy could see Megan's eyes close. In a few minutes she was asleep herself, Megan still holding her hand.