Both girls had settled closer towards the floor, still on their knees, the backs of their thighs now resting on their calf muscles, Megan still clutching at Amy tightly with her teary face pressed against Amy's neck -- there was no possibility of either girl sitting, using the floor to support her bruised, agonized tush. Very gradually, Megan's crying abated, and she spoke suddenly, as if Amy had asked a question.

"I was eight years old when I found out what I was meant to do." Megan's voice was choked and hoarse, constantly interrupted by sniffles, and muffled by Amy's hair, but Amy could understand her. "My Aunt Serena was a Hanging Girl. She graduated from here. Did you know that? No, you couldn't. I never told anybody that. I never tell anybody anything." Megan shook her head slightly, and paused for a prolonged bout of sniffling.

"Anyway, Daddy and Mom got invited to Aunt Serena's hanging. They knew the guy that bought Serena, and the man figured my mom would want to be there. They were sisters."

Just like my dad inviting Kevin Warren to see Miranda's hanging, thought Amy. I guess that must be kind of a standard thing. Only the idea that Megan had had a life before the Academy took Amy by surprise.

Megan's voice grew slowly stronger. "I didn't care one way or another about going, it just wasn't that big of a deal, but my parents always thought I should have a lot of experiences, and they didn't see any harm in taking me. Aunt Serena had stayed with Mom and Daddy a couple of times when she got weekend furloughs from the Academy in her Third Year, and she was so sweet, and so happy, and so pretty, and I really loved her. Anyway, Daddy just explained to me we were going to a barbecue to eat Aunt Serena, and there'd be a lot of guests and she'd put on kind of a show, and he wanted me to understand Aunt Serena wasn't really an escaped slave, that was just part of the show, make-believe. I promised him I understood that.

"So we went, and I stood right in front of the stage because I was the smallest person there, and... and my whole life changed.

"I'd seen girls hanged before, of course, everybody has, but they weren't anything like this. I can't say I exactly understood about sex, just kind of a vague idea, but I understood about... attention. About people paying attention to you, really noticing you, being totally fascinated and enthralled by what you're doing. Every kid understands that and wants it. And standing there, I caught on about connecting with people, that you could be performing in front of a big crowd of people and somehow, some way, be able to make each individual person feel like you were performing for him or her alone."

Amy nodded, surprised. That's a lesson Megan had definitely learned, she thought.

"Anyway, every minute, every second of watching Aunt Serena hang is engraved in stone in my memory. I can call up any image, any sensory impression from watching the show and live it again. It was... well, obviously you can tell, it was the biggest thing that ever happened to me or ever will happen, until I do my own show.

"I don't even really remember the barbecue after. We must have stayed, and I'm sure I must have eaten some of Aunt Serena, but I was like in a daze. That night at home, I told my dad, Daddy, I'm going to do that. How can I learn to do that?

"Probably, just for a few seconds, my dad thought it was just a standard kid announcement, like 'I'm going to be a nurse' or 'I'm going to be the President of the World,' but I'm sure he saw something in the way I said it. I mean, you know how intense I can be."

Amy finally spoke. "No kidding."

"Well, Daddy knew I was serious, so he went out and got some books. They were big-people books, not kiddy books, but I was always pretty smart. Books about hanging, I mean. You can't get most of the hanging books the Academy uses on the outside, but you can still get some pretty detailed and useful info. Plus stuff like anatomy, and chemistry, and physics, like we study here, those are available to anybody. If I didn't understand something in the books, if it was too complicated and grown-up for me... well, I'd just take what I could get, what I could understand, and promise myself to understand the rest later. I'd always find I understood more the second time through than I did the first time.

"I got so into it, spending so much time with it, that Daddy took me out of school. I was home-schooled. My mom did the teaching until I was fifteen, when we ate her, and then Daddy hired a tutor.

"If I'd fall behind in my standard school studies, Daddy would take away my Hanging books until I got caught up. I didn't let that happen very often. So I learned a lot of stuff, besides hanging. I didn't have any high school grades when I applied to the Academy, so they used the scores on my college entrance exams. I kind of blew the top off those."

One thing you didn't learn, thought Amy, was socializing. There's a little more to school than books. She wondered whether Megan understood that.

"And of course, I wanted to practice actual hanging, too. It took me until I was twelve to talk Daddy into letting me do that. Eventually I think he realized I'd start doing it on my own, all by myself -- he could forbid me to do that, but he knew that wouldn't work forever. It was either let me do it in the open or I'd endanger my life in secret. So he hired a coach for that.

"Of course, by the time I was a teenager, I knew more about sex, and I recognized that was a big part of what Aunt Serena's show was about. So I started working on getting that into my act. By that time my coach decided I was too much of a natural for him to interfere with anything I tried doing. After a couple of years he stopped finding much new he could tell me about hanging. I was doing it all.

"My parents were always so totally supportive. Mom loved that I'd been so inspired by her sister, and Daddy always told me I was born to be the best ever. They never pushed me, it wasn't like that. You know, like those big tennis stars who never even liked the game, but their parents never let them think of anything else but being the best tennis player ever. My parents just knew... they saw what it meant to me. They saw they couldn't stop me even if they wanted to."

Megan stopped talking, long enough for Amy to think her story was over. Amy had just opened her mouth to respond when Megan spoke again. "Amy..." Amy could hear the quaver come back into Megan's voice, knew that the tears were starting again. "This is the most important place in the world to me. You don't really think I'm going to wreck it, do you? My Aunt Serena was here. She must have been in this very room sometimes. And I've got a little sister. She's only nine. Maybe she'll want to come here. She's not into hanging, but maybe she'll get excited about it after she sees my show. Amy, please tell me I didn't mess everything up." Her shoulders heaved, and her body shook with sobs again.

Amy felt a strong need to have Miranda's head with her. Amy hadn't known why she saved Megan, but she felt now that Miranda had known why Amy needed to do it. Amy tried, as the next best thing, to fix the image of Miranda in her mind, to make her so real Amy could almost reach out and touch her.

Amy shifted and pushed Megan gently away from her shoulder, and brushed the hair out of Megan's eyes so she could look at her. Megan's eyes, reddened and still seeping tears, didn't want to meet Amy's. Amy said softly, "Megan... look at me."

She waited patiently for Megan to comply, and went on. "Megan, you're probably the smartest person I've ever met. And you've done so much with it, you've learned so much. But you missed some things. It's not your fault. You didn't have a chance to learn them. You understand?"

Megan, looking as if she feared Amy might slap her, whispered, "What things?"

"I guess the biggest thing is that you didn't go to school for so many important years. You didn't learn how to... be with people. I mean, I'm sure you went places, like probably parties, clubs, the mall..." She looked questioningly at Megan. After a pause, the girl nodded.

Amy continued, "But you could pick and choose when and where you wanted to go, and who you wanted to be with. You missed having to deal with people who were around you all day, whether you wanted them to be or not. People competing for things you wanted, or people who had something they were willing to share with you, or... all those situations. You just know you want to be the best Hanging Girl ever, and now suddenly you're surrounded all the time with a lot of other girls who want the same thing, and you never learned how to handle that kind of thing. You're just now dealing for the first time with situations you were supposed to be learning about when you were nine or ten, and the only method you've got right now is to bull your way through the enemy, shouldering them all out of the way so you can get where you want to go before they get there.

"I really meant it when I said you can't be the best Hanging Girl by being that way. By not wanting to share with other girls, teach them stuff and learn from them. You need them! You really do!

"Look, I know this will be hard. I think I've gotten to know you a little, especially tonight. Most of the girls here would say Megan is just Megan, she's the way she is, she can't change. But they don't know how determined you are, and that you'll do anything you have to do if it means being a better Hanging Girl. You just never knew before that this needed to be on your list of Things To Do: You have to share. You have to get to know the other girls, and let them get to know you. And you have to believe that they want to be the best too, and you have to understand that's not a threat to you. You have to stop trying to beat them down.

"I'm not even going to ask if you think you can do all that. I know you can, because you believe me when I tell you you can't be the best without it. Right?" She raised an eyebrow.

Megan hesitated only an instant, and nodded.

Megan was still meeting Amy's eyes only for brief periods. Amy said again, "Megan, look at me. Keep looking at me."

Megan fixed her eyes on Amy and nodded.

Her eyes boring into Megan's, Amy said, "There's one more thing. Megan... You have to tell me if I can trust you."

No hesitation this time, Megan nodded. "Yes."

Amy sighed and closed her eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted. She winced. "My knees are killing me, and I can't sit down. Do you want to go back to our room?"

Megan gave her a tiny smile, and brushed a tear away. "So you want to still be my roommate?"

Amy couldn't hold down the corners of her mouth. She stood and reached down for Megan's hand with her own to help her up.

As they passed the first aisle of heads, Megan suddenly said, "Wait."

Amy looked at her questioningly.

Megan was looking around her. She put her hand on Amy's arm. "Why don't you spend the rest of the night with your friends, Linda and..."

"Laney."

Megan nodded. "Yeah. Okay? I'm going to stay here."

Amy sighed in exasperation. "You're going to spend the night here, by yourself? Megan, I thought we figured out you need to stop trying to do stuff alone..."

"Not alone." Megan twirled her hand to indicate the heads surrounding them. "I'm going to be with them. I have some things I need to tell them, some... promises I need to make. It's just between me and them." She gave a shy smile that was far from her usual smirk. "Tomorrow, live people."

Amy laughed, and slowly nodded. She gave Megan's hand a squeeze. "See you in the morning."

Megan returned the squeeze. "And Amy? Thank you. I can't ever thank you enough for saving my life, but I can try. And... it wasn't a mistake. I'll show you."

Amy said huskily, "I know you will." She thought about hugging Megan, but she knew the girl wasn't quite the hugging type. She squeezed her hand again and backed away, smiling, turned and found her way out of the room.

Amy softly opened the door to Linda's and Laney's room. In the dim light filtering through the window from the courtyard, Amy could see her friends in bed, apparently asleep, their arms and legs tangled together, the sheet only half covering them. Amy crept to the bed and tried as quietly as she could to pull out the rollaway bed underneath.

Laney, on the far side of the bed nearer the wall, opened her eyes halfway, and said sleepily, "Amy? What's up?"

Amy held her finger over her lips, whispering, "Shhh. It's okay. Just go back to sleep and don't wake Linda." She eased the rollaway bed out, wincing at the creaking sound it made. She muttered "Shit" to herself when she saw Linda start to stir.

Linda wriggled onto her back in Laney's arms and squinted upward, croaking, "Amy? Get tired of Megan or something?"

Amy shook her head. "Nothing like that. Tell you in the morning. Go back to sleep."

As Amy continued pulling the rollaway bed out, Laney wriggled slightly away from Linda. "Forget that thing. Just get in here with us."

Amy usually slept between them when she spent the night. She shuddered, knowing one of them would be pressed against her raw butt. She quickly said, "Just give me some room on this side, okay? I'll be asleep in five minutes anyway. Too tired to play."

Both girls wriggled towards the wall, and Amy gratefully slipped into the bed, pressing against Linda's back. As she draped her arm over Linda, snuggling against her to get comfortable, Laney mumbled, "Tried to see you tonight, but the First Year dorm was all locked up. Somebody get paddled?"

Amy, tiredly, her voice muffled in Linda's hair, said, "Morning. Tell you everything in the morning. Promise." That was her last memory of the night until the alarm clock woke her.

Amy, awake and alert quickly, backed carefully out of the bed, facing towards the stretching Linda and Laney, wishing she'd taken the time to stop by her room to put on some shorts, then realizing the girls would have been suspicious anyway if she'd worn anything to bed. She sighed, knowing she couldn't hide her condition now. In the sunlight streaming in through the window, the bruises on her rump would be clearly visible. She'd have to tell them what had happened. The true version. There was no way the official version would work.

Linda climbed out of bed next and in seconds was behind Amy on her way to the bathroom. Amy rolled her eyes and gave up. She had her friends on both sides of her now. There was nowhere she could turn without one of them seeing.

She groaned as she heard Linda gasp, and turned in time to see her friend's hands fly to her mouth. "Amy!!! It was you?!"

Laney was sitting up in bed, as Amy turned, Amy's backside now visible in that direction. She heard Laney say, "Wha..." and then echo Linda's gasp.

Amy sighed. "Okay. I can explain..."

Over the next few minutes, as Amy talked, the expressions on both her friends' faces darkened, their brows drawing closer together, their jaws thrust outward, the breath whistling through their noses, their hands closing into fists. At last Linda said in a low voice through her clenched teeth, "I'm going to kill her."

Amy held her hands up, palms out towards Linda. "No, wait. I had a long talk with her last night and..."

"A talk?! What'd she say, 'I'm sorry I screwed around with your life'? What else would she say?"

From behind Amy, Laney shouted, "Why in the world did you save her? Was it worth it? I'm not even talking about that..." She gestured at Amy's butt. "Was it worth it that she's still alive now, after what she did?"

Linda interrupted Amy's response. "At least you're not going to room with her anymore. You'll stay with us for now, right?"

Amy bit her lip. "Well, you see..."

Laney gasped. "You're still going to room with her?!"

Amy waved her arms in a closing-in gesture. "Would you guys get next to each other? I don't need you hitting me from both sides."

Linda reluctantly returned to the bed and sat on the edge. "You do need your head examined, though. Would you..." She stopped abruptly as Amy stamped her foot.

Amy glared at them. "You're the best friends I'll ever have. Just for a minute, I need you to listen. Friends do that for friends."

Laney opened her mouth and closed it. Linda looked at Laney, then nodded briefly at Amy.

Amy sighed deeply. "Okay. I spent a long time last night with Megan, and we talked. She knows there are things she hadn't understood about... well, life. She knows she did wrong. She knows what effect she's been having on the other girls. I... learned a lot about her last night. I know things about her she never told anybody. I know why she's been the way she is. And I know she can change. I know it. There are reasons why I know it. You had to be there. I was there. I know it will be awhile, maybe a long time, before you trust her. But trust me. I'm asking you, please, just believe in me. Okay?"

The two girls on the bed looked at each other again. They both looked back at Amy and nodded.

Amy sighed again, with relief this time. "Okay. Now let's just talk."

Linda raised her hand. Amy blinked at the classroom-like formality and asked, "What?"

"Can I pee?"

Amy bent over and covered her face, tears rolling from her eyes as she laughed. She gestured towards the bathroom. "Be my guest."